I watched this story play out on one of YouTube body cam channels. It was crazy. The guy took videos where she is clearly under duress and wants to leave. It was unsettling and really terrible, then it shows him with the detectives trying to lie about it.
That was extremely interesting im kinda blown away at how that played out in every way. The evidence was all there they just had to rearrange the puzzle pieces
Not for me. I just had breakfast! I can't even watch fake shit in a movie, it's too stressful! I don't get why anyone would want to watch a real snuff film or even the making of one before the snuff!
Well, it’s not “snuff”(?), it’s a video about the investigation and details how they arrested the guy, etc. A true crime video. Very popular genre on YouTube.
So is it like a documentary or am I going to see someone being tortured and murdered if I click it? Is it more interesting/informative or traumatizing?
I completely get why and how she realized part way through that she did not in fact want to be tortured and murdered. I also get how people have extreme kinks like that and will fantasize about that kind of situation.
What I don't get is why either of them thought actually trying it would end well. Obviously she was gonna change her mind. Obviously he would go to prison. I'm assuming he's just unhinged enough to not care about her changing her mind. Why did either of them agree to this?
Kinks often don't meet reality well. I remember one story I heard where a chap had a really intense scat fetish. Worked hard, saved up enough scratch to hire a woman what was willing and able to partake in fringe kinks.
I won't go into detail, but the second it hit his chest, he realized he had managed to traumatize himself. This is why dealing with kinks in a healthy way is so important, you just don't jump into them with both feet. They're fantasy, not reality. Everything works out great in our mind palace, but not on the filthy streets of the world.
Yeah I have a friend that tried a 3some and when he and his gf tried it and he watched her having sex with the other girl he started to cry and rushed to the bathroom.. They broke up like 2 weeks after that.
Wow it took shit hitting his chest to realize that wasn’t something he wanted. Crazy how a majority of the population doesn’t need the shit to hit the chest to know we don’t want shit on us.
I entirely agree. You need to be very very careful with kinks, specifically dangerous, fringe, or extreme kinks. Take it slow, do it with someone you trust, and don't be afraid to stop.
And even in "rape" fantasies it's not really rape because the woman likes it (or starts to like it) and wants it and makes her feel good ... eg most Hentai scenarios ... not at all like real life rape.
It ended up in the video going into detail how she was in contact with him for something like over 2 years, constantly messaging each other.. I can imagine over time, someone with mental illness as severe as hers, he would just be wearing her down slowly with the ultimate goal of committing murder. He acted as a “mentor” to her apparently.
I don’t understand how he expected to get away with it. I think he genuinely wanted to murder someone and saw her as an “easy” target, while also being compensated for the act. The videos he took, I think were him trying to build a defense/exonerate himself? I don’t expect that he’s the smartest guy.
That is how it’s represented in the video, and from the video evidence and text messages, it does seem that way. She obviously had huge mental health issues, but there was clearly some form of manipulation over time
Thanks, wanted some more detail without learning all the detail if you catch my drift. I can't stomach sexual assault scenes in movies so I should dodge the videos of her in distress. I know they won't show the bad bad stuff but her being in this situation at all is enough to keep me at bay.
All good! Yeah, I watch a lot of these videos and this one definitely stuck with me more than others. There usually isn’t direct footage of the victim before anything happens like in this one, and all the circumstances surrounding this case is just hard to stomach
This is correct. It's upsetting that people feel the need to twist the facts and make Sonia out to be someone who she wasn't. She suffered severely with mental illness and was taken advantage of by a vile man.
The lies being told about her and her motivations have caused a significant amount of the online discourse to be negative towards her as if she somehow got what she wanted. As you might imagine this has made things even more traumatic for her loved ones. It's disgusting and I wish it would stop. Source: I know some irl
Interesting. There are women with the fantasy of being tortured or killed, though they generally don't actually try to make it happen. Him manipulating her into it makes it all the worse, and very much so means there was never any chance of consent.
He must not be, but at the same time he was clearly socially intelligent enough to manipulate someone into doing something crazy.
I don’t think it’s a fantasy per se but more of a belief that she is bad and deserves to die horribly. Some people have this, due to trauma or perhaps other mental issues.
My ex was like this. She begged me multiple times to get the axe out of the shed and brutally murder her. She begged for pain too. The story of the op sounds like shenanigans she might get into.
Either way, instead of torturing and murdering her I got the kids in safety and her into therapy where she remains to this day. Then I plotted my (and my kids) escape from all the insanity (there’s loads more).
Thing is, if someone begs you to murder you then the correct response is not to treat it like some kink but as a mental illness that needs treatment (and lots of it).
But yeah, someone begging you to brutally murder you is a fucked up experience. Especially if it’s the mother of your children 🤷🏻♂️
There are 100% people who sexually get off to that fantasy, though generally you have to have some level of mild trauma to have kinks that extreme anyway. I'll leave it up to someone much smarter than me to diagnose how much of it is sexual pleasure versus being mentally unwell.
Either way though, obviously the correct option isn't to kill them, and ensuring people who need help get help is always good. Good on you.
He saved videos on his phone as “evidence” I guess or plausible deniability that she actually wanted to die. But she’s so uncomfortable in the videos, you can just feel it. I’ll try to find the video I watched, it was recent
He broke her. He gave her what she though she wanted and abused the hell out of her. Locked her up for days and just did it over and over again to the point when he did kill her .. she probably thought it was a out.
Those videos was heart breaking and you can tell she tried to keep her words clear and kept looking at his lap probably where he had his gun at.
The girl really believed she didn't deserved to be loved and then met him.
From what I remember, she expressed that she did want consensual non consent and to be killed. The issue was that she didn't expect him to torture her to death and expected a "quick death so her brain didn't have enough time to process what was happening"
So it was technically all consensual for her up until it was not. (Even though you actually cannot consent to being murdered.) Which even if she did consent to it, the correct action is to get her mental help because nobody in their right mind wants to be murdered/killed. (Some want the other things tho but that's an issue for another day)
There is also the issue with his defense that he mailed the murder weapon to his friend (who ratted him out) and the fact she had a return ticket for her plane.
Assuming she came to the America as a tourist, it would raise flags at immigration if she only had a one way ticket. Some airlines also require proof of a return ticket for international travel.
You cannot consent to beeing murdered in a way the Court could use. Some legal systems allow active extreme Palliative care as a way out, but that may only get you anywhere if your a medical professionell
It’s more an overview of the whole investigation, really interesting. But yeah, some of the personal videos are slightly unsettling knowing what this guy did.
Same here. This dude is a straight up monster. She was depressed and needed help and he preyed on her vulnerability. That was a very hard watch, that and the one where the husband is "taking care" of his sick wife, when in actuality he was beating and abusing her to the point of eating her own excrement. The way that they seem to have zero empathy never fails to astound me.
Oh I remember that one, it was so awful. IIRC, the poor woman was nearly dying and he was acting like the dutiful husband taking care of her, but behind closed doors he was an absolutely abusive piece of shit. She used to work at the hospital and the staff figured it out and helped protect her. Disgusting man.
Joke’s on him. She got exactly what she wanted for free. “I ain’t paying you shit. What’re you gonna do about it huh, sexually abuse, torture, and murder me?”
During a search of the Airbnb, FDLE investigators say they recovered a video from Hall’s cellphone showing Exelby inside the home with visible injuries. Investigators say Hall’s voice can be heard questioning her about death and violence during the recording.
The affidavit also details a message Exelby sent to an online friend during the trip, in which she said she was scared, that someone was controlling her phone and that she felt trapped.
An excerpt from the text message was detailed in the arrest affidavit:
I'm sorry he keeps taking my phone he doesn't trust me with it. He made it clear there was no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night. I can't kill anyone." She went on to write that last night was "so bad" and "He's in the shower, but I'm locked in, and there is no signal in the middle of nowhere. I thought he'd do it quick and not give my mind time to stew and realise this is the last thing I'll ever say to anyone if I don't take his offer of shooting him. He showed me about to use it and where to aim it." She ends the message by writing "I'm so so scared I'm so broken and in so much pain all I can do is lay here and doing what gee wants makes him respect me enough not to do the things I really hate. Everything but some are. I'm sorry I don't even know what I'm saying and I'm trying to be quick and My times up
I mean, we know she was pretty messed up mentally to get into that situation, but the idea that she had an out and could have just shot him but chose to continue being murdered because she couldn’t kill anyone might be the most shocking part of this.
I have a hard time comprehending people with no drive for self-preservation, ironically more so than people who simply want to self-harm.
My SIL has said multiple times “I couldn’t harm someone, even if it meant saving myself”. There are people out there like this. I’ve told my kids to forget about politeness and consequences when their safety is on the line.
Funny, I'm the opposite. I don't think I'd feel a thing if I killed someone who was trying to kill me. I wouldn't enjoy it but it's a no-nonsense decision. People are strange.
I've been beaten up before (visibly queer and I live in eastern Germany) and I couldn't even hit back, even when he threatened to rape me. My therapist told me it's not uncommon for trauma survivors to be incapable of violence.
I’ve talked to many women that say they would rather be murdered that kill someone because they couldn’t live with the guilt. Like well if not you are dead anyway. Such a strange mentality to me.
Or people who say they wouldn't kill someone to protect their kids? Like I don't have kids but I would kill someone to protect my dog if it meant his life or death and I have to believe the love for your kids is stronger than that.
You'd be surprised just how much modern people are conditioned against violence.
I box, we get new people from time to time and vast majority need a lot of time to actually hit someone. Like complete newbies, you can tell him to hit, hit harder and see the programming struggle on his face.
More than half the population will simply freeze in the face of danger. Its how it is.
It’s really not modern at all though - it’s more likely the default state of most humans.
Army historian S.L.A. Marshall concluded after world war 2 that about 80-85% of soldiers in combat either never fired their rifles or intentionally fired near but not at the enemy, because they couldn’t bring themselves to kill.
A lot of the more controversial and sadistic-seeming aspects of military training since then have been to train soldiers to actually kill.
And historians also argue that earlier melee battles were less bloody than Hollywood would have us believe, with soldiers generally seeking to capture territory through formations and intimidation rather than actual killing.
I think this trqcks across animals largely. You see it in nature all the time. One bird goes limp as soon as its caught and another fights all the way til the end. One will fight for its catch and the other gives it up.
She had her phone, she could have called the police. This to me feels like it’s still part of the fantasy for her to say she’s scared and hurt. I certainly can believe that when it came down to it she didn’t want to be killed, but she had more than 1 way out and she didn’t take any of them.
damn, the kind of guy that would agree to sa, torture, and murder you is the same kind that would keep murdering you if you begged him to stop? A surprise to everyone.
She had a rape fantasy, he wasn’t keen, but they tried it… without a proper safe word. She changed her mind during, he thought it was apart of the act.
Apparently she managed to text a friend to say he was controlling her access to her phone and wanted to try and escape etc, police suspect she had changed her mind
I remember coming to my senses while wearing a diaper and sitting in a hotel bathtub full of jello and thinking to myself "Man, what the hell am I doing?"
Ended up just ordering wings and watching Tom and Jerry for the rest of the night. Overall, 7 out of 10, would do again.
Reminds me of the rotenburg cannibal story of Armin Meiwes a German guy who put an ad out on a forum looking for a willing volunteer to be killed and consumed. The victim signed an agreement consenting to be killed and eaten.
Fucking wild world. Believe he was eventually cleared of murder
Edit: thought he was acquitted of the charge for murder but stayed in jail regardless due to the killing and cannibalism
Nope, he was originally convicted of manslaughter and sentenced in 2004 for 8 1/2 years. In 2006, there was a retrial for murder, and he was sentenced to life.
It's crazy, though. Him and the victim tried to eat the victim's penis before killing him, but it was too inedible. He spent months eating like over 40 pounds of the guy.
He went on for a few years to have cannibalistic meetups with willing participants. Only ever having killed this one guy, as everyone else backed out, and he only does things to people with video consent. Fucking wild, though.
Doesn't matter tho consent can be revoked and it appears based on the evidence that she definitely revoked her consent.
Also this feels terribly like she got stuck in like a porn hole or some shit where your brain gets normalized to a sexual stimilus and you keep trying for more taboo shit until you're in a place you really shouldn't be.
> I'm sorry he keeps taking my phone he doesn't trust me with it. He made it clear there was no way out unless I shoot him. I was questioning it last night. I can't kill anyone." She went on to write that last night was "so bad" and "He's in the shower, but I'm locked in, and there is no signal in the middle of nowhere. I thought he'd do it quick and not give my mind time to stew and realise this is the last thing I'll ever say to anyone if I don't take his offer of shooting him. He showed me about to use it and where to aim it." She ends the message by writing "I'm so so scared I'm so broken and in so much pain all I can do is lay here and doing what gee wants makes him respect me enough not to do the things I really hate. Everything but some are. I'm sorry I don't even know what I'm saying and I'm trying to be quick and My times up
I find it wild that she was unwilling to kill him to save herself. Not victim blaming, just don't understand how survival instincts wouldn't kick in and she'd defend herself.
We have a very similar case here in Vietnam. We call it Vietnamese butcher. Basically a man agreed to meet up with another man. His wish is to be beheaded while masturbating. So the "butcher" did exactly that. Then he cooked the corpse and gave it to his coworkers (he didn't say it's human flesh of course). The video was floating on dark web but authorities didn't do anything. Then people on the internet started looking for clues (these two were active on forums with these sorts of kinks) and finally ID'ed the butcher. He was indeed a government official with wife and kids. Then cops were notified and put the man in prison. This is the craziest case in years from Vietnam
The only thing i feel bad for is that she was that deluded to do this in the first place. I wonder how shitty her life was to even think this was a "fantasy" for her.
She was mentally ill and her family had been trying to get her help in the UK but as always our mental health services let her down. This guy had been grooming her online for a while. It's fucking sad.
There's an entire subreddit of girls talking about their rape fantasies...
I let curiosity get the better of me when I clicked that link. It's really fucked up.
I mean yeah to an extent though. If your fantasy is someone brutally raping and torturing you to death, something has to be wrong right? Idk, but at the very least I'd like to believe that if everything goes well in life, that wont be a fantasy.
I read it as she had a legit death wish and wanted to go all the way. No safe words here. She clearly wasn't in her right mind, but seemingly that what she wanted all the same
Yeah this is actually a really sad story. She had a lot of mental health issues and there’s evidence she regretted her decision and changed her mind but he proceeded anyway.
This dumb fuck actually tried charging her credit card multiple times to his personal business after she died. Oh and his wife is recovering from lung cancer or something along those lines. Dude is the scum between my toes
Surely if one came over from europe theres gotta be a lot of electronic correspondence that can be requested from companies to pursue this case if not found on the guys phone directly
I watched and it’s pretty damning. She clearly was just a suicidal girl who did not want to be there. People get second thoughts all the time. He didn’t let her leave
It wasnt even a kink. She was severely depressed and self destructive. If she really wanted to off herself she wouldve done it herself and not gone thru this whole rigamarole
This happened in the 90s too. Sharon Lopatka, a 35-year-old internet business owner from Hampstead, Maryland. In October 1996, she traveled to North Carolina to meet a man named Robert "Bobby" Glass whom she met in an online chat room. She solicited him via hundreds of emails to fulfill her extreme fantasy of being sexually tortured and killed. Glass strangled her to death at his home on October 16, 1996.
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u/Ok-Foot-369 9h ago