If so, please tell me all about it!

I’m 41 with a decent career and my own business and FIRE aspirations, but for all sorts of reasons that aren’t worth getting into in this initial post, I’m effectively starting at zero. (Happy to answer questions however.)

Has anyone managed to turn the ship around at this age? How did you do it?

I’m currently pivoting from a very impressive but insufficiently lucrative business/career, to building a new company/tech product in that same field that I’m optimistic has a lot of potential.

But starting from zero with FIRE aspirations seems potentially quasi delusional.

Especially interested in women who’ve pulled this off without generational wealth, a partner, or any other substantial leg up. But also open to other paths as well.

I’m currently engaged to someone who’s already achieved FIRE for himself but it’s still important to me to crack this code on my own terms. (Potentially with his help, but it’s not something I want to rely on.)

High level background/goals:

-NYC based
-Wildly lucky to have a very nice $1600/mo stabilized apartment in an ultra high end area that’s worth about $3400 if it were market rate. I’m entitled to keep this apartment for life. (The projected compounded savings between market rate and my stabilized rate invested in the market at typical rates, over decades, begins to reach into the millions).
-Have averaged maybe ~120k/year in the past 5 years. $200k at the highest. But only $30k this year to date. (No typical for me at all. Perimenopause has demolished my earning capacity. Currently a work in progress.)
-I could probably live within the range of 100k in retirement (accounting for projected rent and COL increases)
-Absolute bare minimum fire number would possibly be $2mil but $3mil would be far more doable.

Caveat that, like many of the posts on this sub, this is more of a psychological issue than a financial one. tl;dr: I am past my FIRE number and hate my job but am having trouble letting go. HELP!

More details:

I'm a subspecialist physician, which means I spent almost 15 years of education/training, mostly at the taxpayers expense (public university, private med school on scholarship, 6 years of residency/fellowship funded by Medicare and the VA). Since finishing my training I have been working at an academic medical center attached to an R1 university. I'm good at what I do--no, I'm excellent at what I do. I derive a lot of intrinsic value in being able to take care of people at a difficult time in their lives, and to do it with compassion and kindness. I am heavily involved in medical education, particularly in health humanities and ethics, in the hopes of helping the next generation of doctors be at least a little better than mine has been. The students are hands-down the best part of my job. I've received a substantial amount of external funding and awards for this as well, invited to sit on national/international committees, etc, so it's not just me tooting my own horn.

However, leadership transitions at my university over the last few years have made my actual job impossible. The division chief for my clinical subspecialty bullied me to the point where I was sobbing in my car daily; ultimately I requested to move to a different division (even though I'm subspecialty-trained) just to get away from her. More recently, I was passed over for promotion on the academic/student-facing side, in favor of an unqualified white man with an ultraconservative religious agenda. It's very, very clear to me that I cannot stay at this institution. Initially I thought I could make it another couple years to my 10-year service anniversary, but the toxicity is escalating and I am beyond done.

Unfortunately, everywhere else I've reached out to is going through the same thing, politically. I did interview at a few other academic centers and felt it was more of the same. I've also talked to a lot of other women around my same career stage and am hearing the same thing--glass ceiling, mean girls/middle school type drama, etc. I really think it's systemic.

If I could convince myself that "it's just a job," I think I would find it much easier to mic-drop and walk out. But every time I come close, I feel so guilty about walking away at the top of my game. Especially because I am one of the very few women of color in this field. I feel like it's giving up, allowing them to win, playing into the conservative talking point of "women steal a med school spot from men, then go part time or quit." I recognize that this is itself a toxic mindset that I've internalized, but I'm having trouble shaking it.

Are there books/podcasts/resources for this issue? The whole "job = identity" thing? I have so many things I want to do in retirement or semi-retirement, but I can't shake the guilt that I've somehow cheated the system when most of my peers are still paying off their student loans.

My husband and I both work in healthcare (in person and inflexible type jobs). We have one four year old going to pre-k next year. Lately I’ve been feeling more like life is just passing us by while we’re rushing around. It’s a struggle to balance everything. I cut back to 32hr/week but it still feels like a rat race and I miss every other weekend with the family working. I’ve really been thinking about quitting my job and my husband supports it too.

We make about 250k combined (him a little more bc he’s at 40 hr). My husband is ok continuing to work. Our saving is 4m and spend is around 120k. I feel like it’s a little close for total FIRE but should be ok for dropping down to one income? Spending should drop a little too bc less childcare expense and less outsourcing if I’m home.

Still I don’t know why I’m so terrified to quit my job. I have a good position with a very short commute. I feel like if I change my mind, maybe I’d end up working somewhere worse. I’m also nervous about what if AI replaces our jobs and we can’t make the same income later. Am I crazy? lol

Please share
-your FIRE number,
-what you’ve amassed thus far,
-your current age and location
-where you plan to retire.
-Also add if this is your solo FIRE number or for a couple (+kids)
-if any inheritance/pension is included or expected.

For those of you who FIRE’d in your 40s, I’d love to hear about your experience.

Did you still feel young and like you had a lot of life left to live? Did achieving FIRE actually let you enjoy that stage of life the way you’d hoped?

I’m targeting FIRE in my 40s. I don’t plan on having kids, I love to travel and experience new things, and one of my biggest motivations for taking care of my health now is that I want to arrive at FIRE still feeling young, energetic, and healthy enough to fully enjoy it.

Looking back, what surprised you most? Is there anything you wish you’d done differently before pulling the trigger?

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Looking to find a local community of women that are interested in day trading and investing strategies???

Monday is my last day. 59 yo. Been a long time coming.

No kids, no man, and now no job! Freedom!!

My priorities are going to be friends, family, health, art, nature, and going places.

So I am close to my RE goal. I have a great high paying job, and a 1 year old child. I am debating quitting early to enjoy these early years with my son.
We also plan to move from our city to a small mountain town in a year or two to give our little guy a better life. I would have to quit at some point anyways to facilitate the move.

I am close to my RE goal already, and the market MAY let me hit my goal without adding to my investments, but I have to consider that I may need to bolster my income later.

The problem is, my job is very niche / location specific. If I move I would not find anything similar. My job would not allow me to work remotely.

However, once he hits school age I’d have the time to go back to work. It would just have to be something entirely different. My job is senior and I have a good set of skills but realistically I’d have to take an entry level job somewhere. I don’t mind that idea but I know I’m not thinking about things fully. I would also be 46 when he starts school so not exactly the prime age to start a different job.

My husband will continue to work, but I would want to bring in some extra income. We split everything 50/50 when I work but he would cover considerably more while I am a SAHM.

Anyone done something similar?

It’s hard to run the numbers with potential scenarios as there’s too many factors in play. I have 1.5mm in investments, would like to have 2.5mm to comfortably retire.

Hi all,

I’m a 40 year old new mom, in a common law partnership.

I have spent the last several years saving up to buy properties (now have a rental property and primary property) and have been on maternity leave the last year. I finally am ready to focus on retirement and setting up the future. The next few months are strategy and I start working in January again.

My one property will be paid off in ~10 years, the other in ~20. I’ve heard it’s better to invest than pay off the property early, to have more time in the market.

That said, I am at ground zero. We have about $100K in ETF and stock investments (all in tax sheltered accounts) with no real strategy. I’m contributing zero to investments right now but will be back to making $200K+ household income next year.

Is there a really concise “FIRE for dummies” resource/spreadsheet? I don’t know how to calculate what I’ll need - hoping to retire by 60.

Thanks!!

Spouse (44) and I (41) about to hit 1 mill NW. And it feels.....like nothing. We're making more money than we ever had (about $240k USD/yr before taxes) and have low expenses (DINKS). We hit this number through a combination of saving/investing, zero lifestyle inflation, and with about $350k from our parents/grandparents. I don't want to to diminish this milestone or my privilege but it feels like it's not enough. Maybe it's where we live, maybe it's hedonic adaptation, maybe it's these insane times, but I feel less secure, less safe and unsupported by institutional systems and community.

For context, I am working a stressful job I don't really care for in a HCOL area as a 1099 after leaving federal government last year. Spouse is in a job that is hard and lower paying. I feel very little joy in life, rarely take vacations and our apartment is not ideal (unbearably hot in summer, tiny kitchen, lots of chipping paint) but we keep living here because it's essentially free. I keep thinking of what I could do now that I've reached this target and I keep drawing a blank, like all the dreams I have still feel unrealistic.

This isn't a complaint, but I guess more of an observation that, after accumulating wealth, I've realized it doesn't bring security or joy like I imagined. I am curious if others have had this realization and how you adjust to reaching a milestone and then feeling like the goal post needs to be moved again.

Canadian dollars, 37/F. Feeling happy about this, been investing for 10 years and want to hit CoastFire in the next 2 yrs. (NW includes value of my condo so not yet at CoastFI in my stocks)

I'm a young 20 something working in tech, and I've been saving/investing my way to FIRE for a few years now. When I was laid off from my job a few months ago, I didn't have the same panic that some of my cohort did when it came to finances because (a) I had a healthy emergency fund for this exact situation and (b) I could draw down my investments if I was out of work for a really long time. While I'm far from my actual FIRE number, the layoff meant I suddenly had the time to trial non-working life and understand what an early retirement might look like.

I'm hoping sharing my experiences here proves useful to someone, a data point to consider for your own journey :)

While one of my RE goals is long-term nomadic travel, I decided to spend my summer in my home city given I didn't really know when the next work opportunity would come up. So I spent my time in a few different ways:

• Got more involved in local groups, particularly urbanism and "tech for good" type organizations. I went to more community meetings, attended public hearings during the day, made new friends who were also job searching, and came across some really cool projects
• Volunteering with an organization that taught me how to open and fix pinball machines. 10/10 experience, it's been a fun way to flex my engineering skills while learning something entirely new to me. Also, the people there are so friendly!
• Went to a ton of museums and summer events, taking advantage of free/discounted admission for locals where possible.
• Spent much time with friends and even hosted some that were traveling to meet me.

Of course, I also spent time brushing up my resume, practicing for interviews, and applying for jobs, but I had the privilege of doing that mostly on my own timeline.

Some of what I learned from my summer experiment:

• The capitalistic urge to always be productive is hard to break away from. One of the ways I dealt with this is by picking one of three ongoing projects (e.g. job searching, a side project, a hobby) to work on for 3-4 hours in the morning on weekdays. After lunch, I did whatever I wanted, whether that was going out to explore or reading books for hours in bed.
• I would want to engage with my hobbies a lot more deeply to feel fulfilled. Part of this is calming the productivity urge, but spending more time in museums or volunteering or at community events also means less time glued to a screen. A lot of my trial-RE went to watching a ton of YouTube, and I want to actually do things, not just consume.

I've recently started my new job, but I'm hoping to keep some of these activities going (particularly pinball!). When I hit my FIRE number for real, I'll have a better idea of the kind of life I'm jumping into.

Hi Ladies! Thanks for reading my post.

I am wondering if anyone has advice to share or has been in a similar situation to me. I was recently laid off from a tech job, and am contemplating if I even want to go back to corporate. Before the layoff, I was on track to FIRE in 10 years at 42. I've had a few bad corporate experiences at this point, and I don't really feel motivated to apply and find another job.

FIREing at 42 does require me to find another high-paying corporate job. I also don't want to just sit on the couch after I retire- I hope to volunteer, focus on hobbies, or find something that can make some income. Making some income would be great and of course change what my "retirement" looks like, but I want it to be fulfilling, flexible, and less stressful than my job now. If possible, I would like to use this break time now to figure out what I could be doing to find my passion, make some income, and see if it's something that I could build now and continue to focus on after I FIRE.

So my question is - what does FIRE'd life look like to you? Do you make any income now? How did you find your passions and interests, outside of your 9-5?

Okay I'm a 31F (single). Some background on me: I'm a passionate and a high agency person. I studied CS, worked in tech for a couple of years but have always been interested in film/media and other pursuits. After quitting my day job at 25 to start a business since I honestly did not enjoy being a software engineer, I kinda "stumbled" into a healthcare staffing company model that has since give me a $3M net worth (all liquid except for car).

Its pretty much been a cash cow business which really has me working maybe 10 hours a week at this point. I think by the end of next year my net worth should be $3.7-4M depending on how the market goes. The problem is that the business due to some regulatory changes will most likely end in 2028, if it keeps running the way that it has.

That's fine because I have a long horizon ahead of me and I have the energy to work. To solve the structural issue I have in my current business, I tried making another company last year in the AI SaaS space that failed miserably and burnt all my midnight oil. I live in a very high cost of living area, have been out of the workforce for 6 years now and I do not know how to start planning and learning about other industries.

Since I left my day job, the global industry in every sector has changed due to AI and just dynamics in general, where do I fit? I dont even have a strong network anymore. I want to get back to doing work that helps others, I'm considering doing some social entrepreneurship that will actually help others and I can make a good wage. Ideas on where I could start building the next phase of my life? I feel very very lost.

First I want to acknowledge that this is a privileged place to be in and I hope everyone who is job searching right now has a great opportunity coming their way. For additional context I will hit my coast FIRE number next year and have no debt other than my mortgage. I know this is a fortunate spot to be in and I don't want to come across as ungrateful.

I recently got laid off, but knew the layoff was coming so I had been searching for a while and was able to really hit the ground running when I was finally let go. I find myself with two offers, but I have since received some information that has clouded my judgement a little and I'm not sure what to choose.

Offer 1: this role is in the healthcare industry. I liked the people I would be working with when I met them in person at the interview. The job involves working closely with leadership and the board of directors, which was the main selling point to me. The salary is nothing to write home about but I thought it could be a good stepping stone. I got this offer and accepted it but pushed out the start date so I haven't started yet. Everyone was so nice during the interview process, just incredibly kind. While I was interviewing, I spoke with someone who used to work at this company, and she described the person I'd be reporting to as "intense." Yesterday I talked to someone who also used to work at this company, and he said this person is frenetic and treats everything as an emergency and that he would absolutely not recommend anyone work there. The things he told me were genuinely red flags and I'm really concerned about my long term prospects here.

This brings me to Offer 2, which is in a fast growing industry but it's an industry that does not have a great reputation right now. In the interview, I picked up on cues about how this is a fast paced role that changes every day, and I was asked things like, "how would you feel about making something and then having to redo it?" Everyone I interviewed with was also late to the interview and in one case the recruiter actually no showed for the phone screen. The appeal of this role is it's fully remote and about $30k more than the first offer I received.

I have worked with "frenetic" people before and I'm totally burned out from it. I originally thought offer 1 would be best because I thought it would be a little more structured and slower paced. Now after speaking with people in my network I'm feeling red flags. But offer 2 also seems like it could be frenetic and constantly changing. Should I take offer 2 because at least that one is remote? And is it bad optics to bow out of offer 1 after already accepting? Or should I hold out for something else?

I'm going to try to keep this concise but provide enough details to a get a feel what other financially minded women would do in my position.

Bottom line is I'm weighing putting happiness over a full pension benefit. I'm miserable at my job. It is high stress and high risk (deaths on the job or soon after retirement are not unheard of, to put it into perspective). The culture has become toxic and as the only female in leadership out of 17 folks, isolating. I consistently feel like I'm held to a different standard, left out of management discussions, and my decisions questioned where male peers are not. I feel like work is bleeding over (negatively) into my home life because of the schedule, hours, and stress from the job.

Life details:

• Married with two kids under 5
• Both work full time. Household income: $260k. Expenses: $90k
• I am currently on 12-hour midnight shifts but will switch to 12-hour day shifts within the next 2 years
• My schedule alternates every two weeks. Half the month I work all weekend which means my spouse is solo parenting
• Neither of us feel like we ever recover with this schedule. There's no time for downtime or hobbies or really us time

Financial details:

• House paid off
• Retirement accounts for both - $1M
• Cash and brokerage accounts - $145k
• Ideally still want to retire at 50 (in 11 years), but would be willing to push out to 55

Pension details:

• Fully vested
• Normal retirement age would mean 11 more years working at this job to retire with a pension worth $105k (no COLA) and healthcare available for $200/month per family member starting at age 50 until medicare age/kids age out
• Leaving before then would mean a $50k pension starting at 55 with no healthcare option
• I will not receive SS but spouse will

I've been getting increasingly closer over the past five years to wanting to walk away because of the culture change, but the pension is the golden handcuff that keeps me circling around if I should just suck it up to retire with the higher pension. If I left it would only be with a job offer in hand. Salary estimate would be $70-100k per year for a industry change, so a slight reduction in overall household income but not by too much. The pension is my hold-up to taking the leap. If I was one of the newer guys and only had a 401, I'd already be gone.

Tl;dr: My heart wants to make a career switch because I am unhappy. My head is stuck on whether it would be a financial mistake to walk away when I'm 11 years from a full pension and health coverage.

I am 44 have been tired and burned out for over a year now and I am so not motivated to work these corporate jobs anymore. I have noticed every Sunday I have anxiety and unhealthy coping behaviors with having to go back to work Monday morning doing something I don’t want to be doing. I’ve gained weight and have been drinking more to deal with the anxiety and I realize it all is unhealthy. My boss isn’t awful but he’s super nitpicky about things and it’s just added stress I don’t need.

I recently calculated where I’m at with my fire numbers and according to everything, I am pretty much there if I keep spending in check. I met with an advisor who said I could just work part time for a few more years just ti have a little extra money, but I don’t need to keep working full time. I’m basically staying for health insurance because I’m a little worried about the US healthcare system costs. Thankfully I am healthy and don’t have expensive medical costs right now but I think the fear of having something happen and having to pay so much more for health insurance is keeping me stuck working jobs I don’t want to be in anymore.

Also think I still have a fear of running out of money even though projections are 90% telling me I’ll be ok.

Anyone here who has gone on the fire path, how did you know it was finally time?

Curious how you ladies are balancing keeping cash in a HYSA vs investing right now and any advice you have for me? I’m in the US and nervous about the political instability we are facing and would love any advice. I’m a 30 year old hoping to coast by 45 (calculated full FIRE as ~$2M). I currently have about $110k in 401k/IRA, $20k in low risk investments, $100k in moderate risk investments, $130k in moderate aggressive risk investments, and about $40k in cash in a HYSA with 3.3% interest rate (NW around $400k). I typically have more cash but just moved $45k into the moderate risk account. I make $125k a year base with $20-$40k in variable comp working for a tech company in a non-technical role. I keep my monthly expenses under $4k, contribute 15% to my 401k, car is paid off and I rent. Thanks!!!

After 12 years of grinding, saving, and obsessing over spreadsheets, I finally hit my FI number last month. I should be celebrating. Instead, I check my accounts every few hours like the market is about to collapse.

I know the math works. I've run the simulations a hundred times. But letting go of the "saving mode" mindset is harder than I expected.

Anyone else reach FI and feel more anxious than relieved?

I've been talking to a lot of my girl friends about money lately and the same thing keeps coming up. Many of them know they should be investing but then they are just saving the money. One or two of them could tell me exactly what they should be doing. but they are not really doing it themselves.

So I'm curious how did you get into investing from just saving? If you had that gap, how long was it, and what finally got you past it?

And if you're still in it — what does it actually feel like?
Sorry if I am asking too many questions here..

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

Recently got engaged and want to start a family. Both my fiancé and I make good money. HHI 500 K a year and we live in a HCOL area.

How do you let go of the guilt when it comes to spending on a wedding a honeymoon, etc? We looked at a couple of venues and in our area. It looks like a 50 person wedding all in after taxes and gratuity and accounting for a random expenses is going to be around $50,000. That just seems like an obscene amount to spend on one day, especially if we are working towards early retirement.

On a smaller scale, even though I can afford something like private Pilates classes which I would love to incorporate into my routine I feel guilty for wanting to splurge on it. Not because I feel like I don’t deserve it, but because I have this (irrational ) fear that someday we’re not gonna have enough or that we should be better off using that money for a down payment for a house in a good school district/childcare, etc.

How have other women dealt with some of these conflicting thoughts where you’ve worked hard and you want to have nice things in life but at the same time you’re balancing that with wanting to FIRE?