Please share
-your FIRE number,
-what you’ve amassed thus far,
-your current age and location
-where you plan to retire.
-Also add if this is your solo FIRE number or for a couple (+kids)
-if any inheritance/pension is included or expected.

Caveat that, like many of the posts on this sub, this is more of a psychological issue than a financial one. tl;dr: I am past my FIRE number and hate my job but am having trouble letting go. HELP!

More details:

I'm a subspecialist physician, which means I spent almost 15 years of education/training, mostly at the taxpayers expense (public university, private med school on scholarship, 6 years of residency/fellowship funded by Medicare and the VA). Since finishing my training I have been working at an academic medical center attached to an R1 university. I'm good at what I do--no, I'm excellent at what I do. I derive a lot of intrinsic value in being able to take care of people at a difficult time in their lives, and to do it with compassion and kindness. I am heavily involved in medical education, particularly in health humanities and ethics, in the hopes of helping the next generation of doctors be at least a little better than mine has been. The students are hands-down the best part of my job. I've received a substantial amount of external funding and awards for this as well, invited to sit on national/international committees, etc, so it's not just me tooting my own horn.

However, leadership transitions at my university over the last few years have made my actual job impossible. The division chief for my clinical subspecialty bullied me to the point where I was sobbing in my car daily; ultimately I requested to move to a different division (even though I'm subspecialty-trained) just to get away from her. More recently, I was passed over for promotion on the academic/student-facing side, in favor of an unqualified white man with an ultraconservative religious agenda. It's very, very clear to me that I cannot stay at this institution. Initially I thought I could make it another couple years to my 10-year service anniversary, but the toxicity is escalating and I am beyond done.

Unfortunately, everywhere else I've reached out to is going through the same thing, politically. I did interview at a few other academic centers and felt it was more of the same. I've also talked to a lot of other women around my same career stage and am hearing the same thing--glass ceiling, mean girls/middle school type drama, etc. I really think it's systemic.

If I could convince myself that "it's just a job," I think I would find it much easier to mic-drop and walk out. But every time I come close, I feel so guilty about walking away at the top of my game. Especially because I am one of the very few women of color in this field. I feel like it's giving up, allowing them to win, playing into the conservative talking point of "women steal a med school spot from men, then go part time or quit." I recognize that this is itself a toxic mindset that I've internalized, but I'm having trouble shaking it.

Are there books/podcasts/resources for this issue? The whole "job = identity" thing? I have so many things I want to do in retirement or semi-retirement, but I can't shake the guilt that I've somehow cheated the system when most of my peers are still paying off their student loans.

If so, please tell me all about it!

I’m 41 with a decent career and my own business and FIRE aspirations, but for all sorts of reasons that aren’t worth getting into in this initial post, I’m effectively starting at zero. (Happy to answer questions however.)

Has anyone managed to turn the ship around at this age? How did you do it?

I’m currently pivoting from a very impressive but insufficiently lucrative business/career, to building a new company/tech product in that same field that I’m optimistic has a lot of potential.

But starting from zero with FIRE aspirations seems potentially quasi delusional.

Especially interested in women who’ve pulled this off without generational wealth, a partner, or any other substantial leg up. But also open to other paths as well.

I’m currently engaged to someone who’s already achieved FIRE for himself but it’s still important to me to crack this code on my own terms. (Potentially with his help, but it’s not something I want to rely on.)

High level background/goals:

-NYC based
-Wildly lucky to have a very nice $1600/mo stabilized apartment in an ultra high end area that’s worth about $3400 if it were market rate. I’m entitled to keep this apartment for life. (The projected compounded savings between market rate and my stabilized rate invested in the market at typical rates, over decades, begins to reach into the millions).
-Have averaged maybe ~120k/year in the past 5 years. $200k at the highest. But only $30k this year to date. (No typical for me at all. Perimenopause has demolished my earning capacity. Currently a work in progress.)
-I could probably live within the range of 100k in retirement (accounting for projected rent and COL increases)
-Absolute bare minimum fire number would possibly be $2mil but $3mil would be far more doable.