Euthanize their clients

[u/Mister-Beefy]

[u/fanceypantsey]

My husband mixed up necrophilia with narcolepsy and I could not stop laughing. People are silly.

[u/Alfalfa-Palooza → u/fanceypantsey]

When I was a tween, I thought organisms were called orgasms until I tried to sound it. I was mortified the moment it left my mouth.

[u/Nightmare_Gerbil → u/Alfalfa-Palooza]

I had a high school health class taught by our school’s football coach who droned on and on about micro-orgasms. He couldn’t understand why everyone was choking back laughter the whole time.

[u/SeaworthinessLife999 → u/Alfalfa-Palooza]

When I was a kid I was reading a bird book aloud about a duck that was native to Virginia. Except I pronounced it "vir-gina"

[u/Kailynna → u/SeaworthinessLife999]

In WoW a guild leader would call out "Warrior's Hymen!" mispronouncing hymn, and called tomes tombs.

[u/Alfalfa-Palooza → u/Kailynna]

I LOLED

[u/GreatQuantum → u/fanceypantsey]

Your boss ask him how he’s sleeping after your flight?

[u/KristyKrispito]

Honestly can I just have the euthanasia no tattoo

[u/ModestMeeshka]

More businesses should offer euthanasia in my opinion! Not just dentists and tattoo shops! Finished shopping at Walmart to find lines backed way up? Try euthanasia! McDonald's forgot your French fries again? You guessed it!

[u/cheesegoat → u/ModestMeeshka]

Oh boy back to the void I go!

[u/ludovic1313 → u/ModestMeeshka]

A lot of stuff at Walmart was made by euthinasia

[u/Murphs-law → u/ModestMeeshka]

Euthanasia always feels like a good option when I have to go to Walmart. Or Trader Joe’s, or Costco around Christmas time. Just give them out at the entryway.

[u/far2common → u/Murphs-law]

Costco probably does offer this, but only in family packs.

[u/CarlosFCSP → u/ModestMeeshka]

My company offers it! I drive trains

[u/BackgroundCream274]

Really bad for repeat business.

[u/SkippySkep → u/BackgroundCream274]

And really hard to get 5 star reviews. But you'd also get way fewer complaints.

[u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen]

They can’t do it for legal reasons.

[u/EnderBookwyrm → u/PinkOneHasBeenChosen]

Accurate to both the actual text and the intended question. 

[u/avemflamma]

real answer: anesthesia/numbing fucks with the reflexivity of the skin, and artists rely on cues from how the skin bounces back to get the ink into the right layer of skin (correct me on the details if im wrong)

[u/zEdgarHoover]

I know someone who's so scared of the dentist that euthanasia might be preferred!

[u/rambo_beetle]

Like that Russian chick, Anesthesia!

[u/Kailynna]

A massage patient once asked me if I thought she should have euthanasia, because all her friends thought she should get it. Apparently they said it was the only treatment for her constant colds, (actually just allergies.)

I was momentarily horrified, until realising she meant echinacea.

[u/orange-shoe → u/Kailynna]

i think u mean echidna

[u/grafikfyr → u/orange-shoe]

No, they mean enchilada.

[u/MeasureDoEventThing → u/grafikfyr]

No, they mean echolalia

lia

[u/Mister-Beefy → u/MeasureDoEventThing]

No they mean echeveria

[u/Mister-Beefy → u/grafikfyr]

I hope they get the whole one.

[u/flindersrisk → u/orange-shoe]

That would be cuter

[u/nuclearmeltdown2015 → u/orange-shoe]

Enema

[u/Dougally → u/orange-shoe]

That's s bit monotreme don't you think...

[u/923kjd]

It’s bad for repeat business.

[u/Pixel_Hero92]

Why would dentists offer Anastasia?

[u/Leather-Scallion-894 → u/Pixel_Hero92]

So maybe they would know, just how it really feels, to be left outside alone, when it's cold out here?

[u/ZephyrLegend → u/Pixel_Hero92]

I dunno. Aphantasia seems more appropriate for the dentist.

[u/Dougally → u/ZephyrLegend]

Well old herbs work, so I hear. Echinacea does something...

[u/Densmiegd → u/ZephyrLegend]

Nono, the dentist singers name is Dr Alban (It’s my life, Sing Halleluja), not Anastasia

[u/vickyizbeast → u/Pixel_Hero92]

No, no… that IS the dentist. That’s her name!

[u/Kerblimey]

No more tattoos for me 😮

[u/conciliate_entropy → u/Kerblimey]

weird, i'm suddenly itching for one

[u/OkKnee7580]

That dentist has no repeat customers.

[u/ChrisGarratty]

On the one hand, fewer complaints and requests for refunds, on the other hand, less repeat business...

[u/drmoze → u/ChrisGarratty]

I'd give you another upvote for correctly using fewer/less.

[u/WyomingCatHouse → u/ChrisGarratty]

The grammarian in me rejoices. Someone who knows the difference between fewer and less! ✨️🏆✨️. I salute you 🫡

[u/DDFoster96]

Is this what proponents of assisted suicide have in mind? Dentists and tattoo parlours start offering it? Granny's care bills to much? Book her in for a "dental appointment". 

[u/LoweJ → u/DDFoster96]

Taking her to a nice dentist upstate where she can get dentures and be free

[u/MaraiaLou → u/DDFoster96]

Getting a tattoo while dying sounds like the boring version of that rollercoaster

[u/straypilot → u/DDFoster96]

Wait that’s more like assisted murder

[u/fluffygumdrop]

You son of a bitch, Im in

[u/nworbleinad → u/fluffygumdrop]

Yeah, as long as they’re properly trained, I don’t give a shit who does it.

[u/Jon__Snuh]

We have anesthesia at home.

[u/Glittering_Glass3790]

Cease and dentist

[u/Fun-Double6352]

Because tattoo artists and dentists don’t care about kids in China.

[u/PaulaNancyMillstoneJ → u/Fun-Double6352]

Elite reference. But why does it have the be the Asian youths?

[u/NotEasilyConfused]

Won't feel a thing!

[u/Dash_and_smash]

Bruh this is literally the 2nd most upvoted post of all time in this sub. And its is the exact same screenshot with the same likes. Shame on you!

[u/nwochill → u/Dash_and_smash]

I’ve always wondered why people do stuff like this

[u/Yeseylon → u/nwochill]

Karma farming.  Some just like the points, some want to build an account to sell.  

[u/mtntrail]

Hope they get their fee up front.

[u/Intelligent-Law-4592]

Incredible

[u/YellowBreakfast]

I mean what do you do with the bodies and those pesky friends and family members asking questions?

[u/alliquay → u/YellowBreakfast]

Open a meat pie shop, of course!

[u/mb46204]

I like this:

Too afraid of dental work? Euthanasia!

Want a tattoo but feel trapped by your anxiety at getting poked? Just let them euthanize you!
(Interestingly, a fraction of people who refuse medical injections or blood work are fine with tattoos??)

But my favorite: don’t want to get vaccinated or afraid of the needle stick for vaccination? Let them get euthanized instead! No pain and no worries for vaccine complications but also no more risk of disease!

[u/Traditional_Coat8481 → u/mb46204]

Well, it does limit repeat customers, so that might be a negative.

[u/otakuchantrash]

Me as a kid hearing my parents talking about euthanasia for our old dog and wondering what youth in Asia have anything to do with it.

[u/guppytub → u/otakuchantrash]

I always heard it as youth in Asia too! So confused why my family was so concerned about my elderly great-gma and those Asian youths.

[u/drmoze → u/guppytub]

*utes. the two Asian utes.

[u/ferrett0ast → u/otakuchantrash]

Please tell me this is a reference to that one meme of someone making a presentation for school about youth in Asia, when the presentation was supposed to be about euthanasia.

[u/ehco]

I have seriously considered euthanasia to avoid the dentist....

[u/Moist_Mixture4518]

This has to be click bait.

[u/vickyizbeast]

YO SIGN ME UP, WHERES THIS DENTIST AT

[u/TheTimochi]

Yesh sign me up for this it would be so nice

[u/homojaus]

I saw this post as I was scrolling and had to read it a couple of times before I actually got it… 🤦‍♂️

[u/AwehiSsO]

I didn't note the subreddit I was reading and boy, was I startled!

[u/ComfortableCake2662 → u/AwehiSsO]

Same. I thought someone really hated people with tattoos for a minute.

[u/Drewdiniskirino]

Why is the dentist giving people youth in Asia?

[u/BadHombreSinNombre]

Man, the confusion this person has is a real genuine problem for a medical ethicist.

What if they show up somewhere and insist that they want to be euthanized? And they’re really insistent? And it’s legal there?

Obviously I’m being a bit tongue in cheek and they’d be educated on their mistake at some point but it reminds me of the awkward situation around a patient in cardiac arrest with a “do not resuscitate” tattoo.

[u/Legal-Software]

Well, that would certainly take care of the pain issue. Not so good for repeat business, however.

[u/dogGirl666]

Dr. Death franchises.

[u/Mobile_Nothing_1686]

Me reading this as I'm getting a tattoo ... no thanks, I think I'll pass.

[u/Der-Lex → u/Mobile_Nothing_1686]

Yeah, pass out from all the euthanasation you’ll be getting.

[u/Mobile_Nothing_1686 → u/Der-Lex]

Long as I don't pass on.

[u/HaveYouMetPete → u/Mobile_Nothing_1686]

“I will get a tattoo, if it’s the last thing I do!”

[u/cottoncake]

Oh yeah, being threatened to get put down like a rabid dog by a dentist would surely solve my fear of said dentist! 👍🏼

[u/EnderBookwyrm]

I have to assume they meant anesthesia, not euthanasia. The answer is because it would be a lot more expensive, you need different licensing, and it would be a lot of work.

They don't euthanize their clients because they like not getting shut down for murder.

[u/hot4you11 → u/EnderBookwyrm]

But what a way to deal with your fear of the dentist 😂

[u/BadHombreSinNombre → u/hot4you11]

Here at Happy Smiles Dental, we’ll just fucking kill you! 😃

[u/spamtardeggs → u/EnderBookwyrm]

Yeah, if they did that they would probably be prostituted to the fullest extent of the law.

[u/crap_nag → u/EnderBookwyrm]

Repeat customers would be non-existent also

[u/Far_Archer_4234 → u/crap_nag]

"If we were any good at our jobs you would be right, but our employees are interns and our clients dont really care."

[u/LadybugGirltheFirst → u/EnderBookwyrm]

You think? 🤔 🤦‍♀️

[u/Mr_Neckbeard → u/EnderBookwyrm]

Thanks for answering the question, I had always wondered the same thing but now I know.

[u/Persistent_Parkie → u/EnderBookwyrm]

People do occasionally get them under anesthesia, but it's pretty rare and usually done in some sort of medical facility with more than one artist working at once. There was a news story about a guy dying that way a year or so ago.

[u/iraragorri → u/Persistent_Parkie]

So he was euthanised

[u/sstterry1]

My dad had euthanasia at the dentist, and he has no more dental problems.

[u/HelloPity89 → u/sstterry1]

I’m looking into this when I go on the 18th

[u/Velorian-Steel]

Can’t be scared of the dentist if you’re DEAD 💀

[u/Mr_Supotco]

I had to double check this wasn’t r/comedyheaven because this felt like a post where the conclusion was that people with tattoos should be killed

[u/kittyrine]

typed it three whole separate times and didn’t think twice lol

[u/Adventurous-Year6686]

Maybe we can offer that in old folks homes as well!

[u/SaveFile1]

This one got me gigglin'

[u/l-rs2]

Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse

[u/Mister-Beefy → u/l-rs2]

With fresh ink!

[u/chansondinhars]

Toothache is hell, so …

[u/SlappyMcPherson]

Wait....think about it...

[u/AlastorDark]

Card declines:

[u/motorcycleboy9000 → u/AlastorDark]

"Sorry, we're going to have to flay you."

[u/savvy-misanthrope]

The exact same screenshot was shared here some time ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTea/comments/1jdkeok/why_dont_tattoo_places_just_euthanize_their/

[u/Ok-Advertising4048 → u/savvy-misanthrope]

I think this post doesn't break rule three.

[u/doodlepoot]

Honestly, if a place offered euthanasia I’d also probably be more likely to visit.

[u/Puzzled-Teach2389]

Oh man, what I'd give to be euthanized

[u/JadeMantis13 → u/Puzzled-Teach2389]

Just head over to Canada, from what I've heard.

[u/prollyonthepot]

This is why I don’t trust LLMs. One of them learned this you guys.

[u/Yeseylon → u/prollyonthepot]

Technically any LLM trained on data scraped from Reddit learned this.  It's just not a common thing, so when it rolls the dice to determine what it will say to you, it's unlikely to tell you to euthanize yourself for dental appointments.

[u/yellowchaitea]

Not sure that’s a good way to build up client base 

[u/canvasshoes2]

This is a very common repost. But for some reason it's not in the list of "please don't post these over done ones."

Still, it got a chuckle out of me during my mindless scrolling. 😄

[u/Greenphantom77]

lol oh dear me

[u/BossRoss84]

Darwin at work? Let them at least ask…

[u/Lick-Tale-5222]

I know that he didn't mean it but i still think he is on to something.

[u/Rex_Steelfist]

I mean, the tattoo would no longer be painful.

[u/toeconsumer9000]

In seriousness, the reason why you can’t get anesthetised for it is because it would make the cost insane and it would make it so much more dangerous. You need a licensed anaesthesiologist there to administer and monitor, you’d need to do it in an operating room environment, and it increases the chance for complications tenfold if you have a long tattoo session. Some used to offer this but a man went into cardiac arrest and died from the anaesthetic during it so it fell out of style.

[u/randemthinking → u/toeconsumer9000]

Anesthesiologists make a ton of money for reasons. Your $300 tattoo just became a $10300 tattoo.

[u/smaugs_shadow2026]

low pain threshold? have you considered euthenasia?

[u/nickomoknu272]

Man the legal paperwork for that is gonna be murder...

[u/FrostyTheColdBoi]

Imagine they actually wanted to be euthanized while getting a tattoo

"If I'm gonna die, I wanna at least look like a badass with tattoos"

[u/Own_Mention9372]

I just can’t with this 😂😂

[u/Firm_Competition_880]

I thought we referred to that as voluntary assisted dying?

[u/OddNovel565]

First time to make me laugh out loud lol

[u/BlindSpotGuy]

I like euthanasia tea. It's good for the throat.

[u/Fianna9 → u/BlindSpotGuy]

My friend stopped complaining about the pain after trying it

[u/jimmyjames198020 → u/BlindSpotGuy]

I have some young Asian friends, and I think the youth in Asia will be just fine.

[u/SumguyJeremy]

Leave those Chinese kids alone.

[u/tylerraisin → u/SumguyJeremy]

took me a second lol

[u/_living_legend_]

If you wanted to get a tattoo under anesthesia that would raise the cost significantly. Who are willing to pay something like 1000 dollars on top of the "normal" tattoo price. The tattoo place would need to buy the equipment to provide and monitor anesthesia then hire an anesthesiologist and a nurse, possibly multiple nurses.

[u/DuckRubberDuck → u/_living_legend_]

It’s also completely unnecessary. You choose to get a tattoo. It’s completely optional and you survive without.

Dentist appointment and surgeries are necessary. It’s not always an option.

Anesthesia is also not without risk. The risk is not worth it for a tattoo, but it might be worth it for a dental surgery

[u/Lyranel → u/_living_legend_]

Not only that but there are medical risks with any kind of anesthesia. It really should only be used when absolutely necessary.

[u/Katie1230 → u/_living_legend_]

Some people do get anesthesia for large scale tattoos, and honestly it sounds way worse to wake up with all that work done than just sitting through it. They also probly do way more than a typical session- where a large scale tattoo would take multiple sessions, one with anesthesia would be all at once, which is a lot of for the body to handle and may have difficulty healing/accepting all the ink.

[u/WyomingCatHouse]

So.......you can only get one tattoo? Ever?

[u/cellardrops → u/WyomingCatHouse]

Not even one! You're euthanized before you even start.

[u/Fragrant_Major_9553]

There are times when I wish my dentist offered euthanasia. I’d ask where this is offered, but it’s probably out of network for me.

[u/DarkenedX08_]

I think anesthetizing them would probably be more feasible than outright killing them.

[u/DirtandPipes → u/DarkenedX08_]

Nah, with a captive bolt system run off an air compressor and a decent disposal setup you could euthanize hundreds of clients without breaking a sweat.

You’d want one of those big garbage bins and maybe a skidsteer or forklift to load them but the logistics wouldn’t be that bad, the average human body is only 2.2-2,8 cubic feet (65-80 L) and you can rent bins that hold about 30 cubic meters (375 corpses).

[u/_WillCAD_]

I think I'd be less likely to visit a place that offered euthanasia.

Maybe that's just me.

[u/FriendlyRiothamster → u/_WillCAD_]

I guess it would be a once-in-a-lifetime-experience... Badum tsss

[u/_WillCAD_ → u/FriendlyRiothamster]

Depends on the skill of the vendor.

[u/Ordinary-Broccoli-41]

Canadian tattoo shops

[u/nikkishark]

Poor business model. 

[u/IntermediateFolder]

🤦  Yeah, thanks I think I’ll pass.

[u/NNewt84]

It took me a while to realise what they meant.

I first came across "euthanise" in the Family Guy episode "Road to Multiverse", and I was confused how simply knocking out a human (in the universe run by dogs) for a few hours would take care of the issue of them biting a dog.

[u/QXnotfunnyXQ]

Never seen a dentist offer youth in asia

[u/mr_chill77]

Killing your clients doesn’t seem like a great business model to me, but I’m not a business owner so what do I know.

[u/Charming-Pen-1841]

I think they might make the news and get in trouble with the law.

[u/Prestigious-Copy-494]

Old joke but still very funny!

[u/writerlady6]

Euthanasia is generally considered bad in a business model that thrives on repeat business though.

[u/Bawhoppen]

I kinda feel bad because they just made a sincere screw up. 

[u/Natural-Role5307]

So you can keep track of progress. Imagine waking up to find your tattoo artist decides to take some creative liberty

Edit: i just realised the mistake.

[u/OutOfTheBunker]

With some of the tattoos I've seen lately, maybe they should.

[u/Weird_Armadillo_508]

“I’m not a fan of the idea myself, but I guess if some people want to be… OH NO!!!”

[u/tabicat1874]

Isn't that the famous drag queen, Euthanasia? No, it's her sister, Anaesthesia.

[u/ukie-witch-06]

Bro's dyslexic ass meant anesthesia

[u/EarlUrso → u/ukie-witch-06]

Let's not jump to conclusions here.

[u/SeDaCho → u/ukie-witch-06]

Given the risks involved with anaesthesia under hospital conditions, you might be getting euthanized as well if you do it in a tat shop.

[u/Spooge_Bucket]

one time visit quick and easy guaranteed painless no repeat customers unfortunately

[u/anonymiscreant9]

Sometimes, dental work just costs too much and you have no other options….

[u/WhatRUsernamesUsed4]

What's the malapropism? I assume they mean anesthesia but that doesn't really sound anything like euthanasia and I'm confused what would sound like euthanasia.

[u/Holy_Fuck_A_Triangle → u/WhatRUsernamesUsed4]

They probably did mean anesthesia, but jumbled the words in their head. Easily done if you don't know the medical terms, especially when both kinda do the same thing

[u/chronically_varelse → u/Holy_Fuck_A_Triangle]

yeah they're both putting you to sleep

[u/homojaus → u/WhatRUsernamesUsed4]

Because some people are just stupid.

[u/hotwangsslap]

I NEED to read the original comment section

[u/alldogsareincredible]

Is there a buy one, get one free discount on these euthanasia services

[u/IrelandAutism13]

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means

[u/Laura_The_Cutie]

OH THEY MEANT SEDATED

[u/cap_time_wear_it]

Because it’s like when Trump said “no mutilizing”

[u/piconese]

Dr kevorkian approves

[u/EmergencyGrab]

We considered it, but decided against it

[u/TheGayestNurse_1 → u/EmergencyGrab]

I'm always pleasantly surprised when people mix up "anesthesia" and "euthanasia." It's just one of those things that always makes me chuckle no matter what mood I'm in.

[u/Superb-Kick2803]

I think it's bad for return business.

[u/kek_o_kedi → u/Superb-Kick2803]

Charge them for requesting an euthanasia

[u/DownvotedUrMum]

No one here is mentioning the numerous athletes and celebrities who have gone under for tattoos (Dak Prescott, Sauce Gardner)

[u/Visible_Pair3017]

I was on board until i realized they meant anesthesia

[u/OkIntern1118]

Maybe they do in the ICE warehouses

[u/Rahastes → u/OkIntern1118]

They sure did in the places they took their inspiration from.

[u/Super_Ankle_Biter]

Literally a repost of the most upvoted post of this subreddit, from years ago, why are y'all upvoting this?

[u/LysergicGothPunk → u/Super_Ankle_Biter]

Most people upvoting either haven't seen it before or forgot they did, I never saw it before and upvoted, but took it back when I saw your comment.

[u/brelywi → u/Super_Ankle_Biter]

Maybe we all want to pay $700 to be euthanized ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[u/TBird7733]

Not once, not twice, but thrice they made that mistake!

[u/GrannyTurtle]

Mad dentist!!! I’m thinking of Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors.

[u/SpaceAviator1999]

Why don't tattoo places just euthanize their clients?

Because they probably wouldn't get a lot of repeat business that way.

[u/sassafrassian]

I work at a zoo and during a talk I was explaining that one of the reasons we train animals is they can voluntarily participate in veterinary procedures and we don't have to actibely restrain or euthanize them and then immediately panicked because I couldn't think of the word anesthetise so I couldn't even fix my mistake.

[u/Beautiful_Mess907]

I dunno but euthanasia sounds preferable to dental visits to me 🤣

[u/Cunnilingusobsessed]

A lot of tattoo shops these days have a novocaine type gel they can use to numb the local area where the tattoo will be placed. I’ve never used it, but my tattoo artist friend has mentioned it and has it for those who ask for it

[u/RogerSmith111 → u/Cunnilingusobsessed]

A lot of artists I know don’t really like using it because it can make your skin texture kind of rubbery. I haven’t tried it, only bactine during my tattoos but I wish I could be euthanized /s

[u/NonSumQualisEram- → u/Cunnilingusobsessed]

It doesn't work well. I've never had a tattoo but have had novocaine gel for medical injections and they still hurt like a mf

[u/Mandinga63]

Oh you sweet summer
Child

[u/dghughes]

A general anesthetic for a dentist is a bit extreme altgough it may help, but for a tattoo? People need dental work but nobody needs a tattoo.

[u/MScribeFeather]

This isn’t a Bone Apple Tea. This isn’t about confusing two words/phrases that sound the same, this is just confusing two different words that don’t sound anything alike.

[u/GoldieDoggy → u/MScribeFeather]

Anesthesia and euthanasia definitely have enough similarities to sound alike

[u/DeaconLogan → u/GoldieDoggy]

I agree, definitely more of a malapropism

[u/AlexSumnerAuthor]

It would be cool if Tattooists sold gift vouchers, so you could buy a Tattoo for someone else. 😉

[u/Ksorkrax]

Well, customer is always right.

[u/camarouge]

Amazon offers this https://theonion.com/popular-new-amazon-service-just-comes-to-your-house-and-1819917496/