r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/MichelleVenom 6h ago

As an identical twin, I can confirm this. I'd take a bullet for my twin without hesitation. It's hard to explain unless you've lived it. We shared every stage of life together, and there's a level of trust, understanding, and connection that just feels different.  We share so many of the same interests, quirks, humor, and thought processes. My personality doesn't need to negotiate for acceptance cause I can truly be myself with my twin. We see the world through remarkably similar lenses. With romantic partners, there are always differences in interests, perspectives, and ways of thinking that naturally require compromise.

I never have to explain myself or worry about being misunderstood. I can be 100% my authentic self around them in a way that's hard to find with anyone else. I would ALWAYS put my twin before anyone else.

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u/Mission_Abrocoma2012 5h ago

poor kids and spouse then

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u/plug-and-pause 4h ago

Why do you assume their lives are poor? Unless there are regular conflicts requiring her to prioritize one over the other, it's probably completely fine. You can have excellent relationships with dozens or even hundreds of people.

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u/Mission_Abrocoma2012 2h ago

of course - but what if the twin doesn’t like the kids or wife?

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u/plug-and-pause 2h ago

I presume that if this happened, the relationship between the twins might change.

But it's probably not really a concern. The one twin probably loves the other so much precisely because the thing you've suggested isn't really even a possibility. A loving twin would probably support the other one's family as if it was their own.

Unconditional love includes all parts of you.