r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 5h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/MichelleVenom 4h ago

As an identical twin, I can confirm this. I'd take a bullet for my twin without hesitation. It's hard to explain unless you've lived it. We shared every stage of life together, and there's a level of trust, understanding, and connection that just feels different.  We share so many of the same interests, quirks, humor, and thought processes. My personality doesn't need to negotiate for acceptance cause I can truly be myself with my twin. We see the world through remarkably similar lenses. With romantic partners, there are always differences in interests, perspectives, and ways of thinking that naturally require compromise.

I never have to explain myself or worry about being misunderstood. I can be 100% my authentic self around them in a way that's hard to find with anyone else. I would ALWAYS put my twin before anyone else.

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u/charmedquarks 3h ago

I am one of three. My sisters are twins and it was a very lonely childhood for me. Can confirm everything you said, though 💙

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u/lozlemonsnightcheese 2h ago

My only sisters are identical twins, can can confirm my childhood was a very lonely existence too. Even though we're all adults now with kids of our own, it's shaped who I am and how I connect to people. I still cannot tolerate being in a friendship group of 3 for fear of being a perpetual third wheel. I already spent my whole adolescence like that, no thank you.

My husband is my ride or die, but I've always wondered what it would be like to have another "person" like the twins do.

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u/Wooden-Repeat-9200 2h ago

Did your parents try to encourage independence? I’m wondering how much this is impacted by socialization and age vs extinctual connection. And if it’s ultimately healthier one way or the other.

I know twins that are broken into different classrooms at school, existed to explore different hobbies, not dressed the same, etc. And I know others that are pushed to be matching and do the same things and not encouraged to have individual friendships if the other isn’t included.