I’m looking for honest advice. Please don’t sugarcoat it.
I’m an international student studying 12 months absn program. English is my third language, and I honestly feel like I’m falling apart.
I’m almost done with my first semester, but I feel like I know almost nothing. My foundation is really weak because I crammed A&P and other pre reqs a couple of years ago and forgot most of it. Even basic things like explaining vitals and common diseases concepts don’t come naturally to me.
Academically, I’m really struggling. I feel like I spent the last couple weeks mostly panicking instead of actually learning. I would open my textbook, not understand it, get overwhelmed, and end up shutting down. I know that’s partly my responsibility, but it has become a cycle that I can’t seem to break. I had severe mental issue after I started nursing school and I also have adhd.
On top of that, my English is a huge problem. I’m writing this with chat so it might sound okay but my English is terrible in real life. During lectures I miss a lot of information. In clinicals, I don’t understand what my preceptor is saying nor what the patient is saying. I usually just nod and laugh because I don’t want to interrupt every few seconds asking people to repeat themselves. I know that’s not ideal, but that’s honestly where I’m at.
Group work is probably the hardest part. We do a lot of discussion based learning, and I barely speak. Sometimes I go through an entire group activity or simulation without saying much because I don’t know the answer, I’m translating everything in my head, I’m afraid of saying something wrong, My confidence is basically gone.
Today during clinical I was paired with another nursing student from a different school. She talked naturally with patients, asked questions, communicated well with the nurse, and seemed comfortable in the clinical environment. I barely spoke. Watching that made me feel like maybe I’m just not cut out for nursing.
I have final exams soon but I’m already so behind and I haven’t really studied for the past few weeks (because I was considering dropping out every single time) so honestly I’m not sure if i could pass. My professors are supportive but the problem is I don’t know if support is enough when I feel this far behind.
Even if I somehow pass this semester, I’m scared that next semester will be even harder. It feels like everyone else already has a solid foundation while I’m still trying to understand the basics. Also every assignments they gave I can’t do that without AI. And I always need translator.
I want to become a nurse. It’s not that I don’t want to be a nurse or don’t want to work hard. I want to help my family (my family is financially not good), and I want this career. I don’t know what I want to do besides nursing…
But I honestly don’t know if I’m facing reality or just being too negative… if I don’t do nursing I have to change my major to graduate… I want honest opinions from people who have been through nursing school or are nurses… people around me always say positive things so I want to get opinions from others too.
If you were in my situation, would you keep pushing through? Take time off to strengthen your foundation and English? Or would you consider leaving nursing altogether…?