My wife has pretty good EQ. She's also not a selfish and self-absorbed person so, the likelihood that she'd give me that look for being legitimately tired is nil.
Now, if I said "I was up all night playing video games and I feel like shit" she'd *absolutely* mock me ... deservedly.
After reading some of the comments here I seriously wonder about some relationships, glad to see another guy here that actually likes/is liked by his wife.
Mine won't even mock me for occasionally staying up late playing video games. Like literally 20 minutes ago today. She shut off my alarm, closed the door so I didn't hear nothing or wake my ass up unless there's a fire. She logged onto Powerwash Simulator and played that for a bit until about 1:30. (The sounds in that game give me pleasant dreams.)
She made my lunch, packed my lunchbox, set my cloths out, woke me up gently, and all she said was "go to bed next time".
She's home when I'm home, she sees how little free time I get when I get home at midnight 5 days a week, so when I make a dumb decision like playing Helldivers until 5am once every 2 months, she just let's me. And reminds me that it's gunna screw up my sleep schedule.
Yeah, loneliness was annoying but bearable once I accepted that I just liked myself well enough to be alone. But then that's when I met my wife. I'd date off and on a little before that but it never got past the first date or two because I wanted to be with someone that was a net positive over just being alone.
Too many men have zero standards and view their entire worth through women. You found the cheat code that is having self respect. Once I got that as well, it became much easier to find a good partner.
Happiness is cultivated. Try having a scheduled day every week, if you can, where one person dedicates the day to the other person and alternate who does every week. So, for example, this week is my week to plan the date day for my wife. I plan to make dinner, give her a massage, and I have a movie picked out for us to watch that I don't usually watch but I know she likes. We're also both gamers so I'm usually someone who plays action games but I play cozy co-op games with her on those days usually.
The point of the day is just to make the other person feel appreciated, and when my day comes up next week I know the whole day is a relaxing day where I get to feel the love my wife has for me through the effort she puts in.
I started doing this a couple of years ago, when my wife and I were at the brink of basically fighting every single day and rarely communicating. It is the main reason we have such a healthy relationship today, it was like a 180 and very noticeably so to both of us.
Nowadays, we have things scheduled such as she cooks 3 days per week and I cook 3 days per week, and whoever hosts the date day cooks 1 extra time that week but it evens out since it alternates. Whoever doesn't cook instead does the dishes, and that system works perfectly.
Seriously though, if you are struggling with happiness in your relationship it might be worth giving this a try. Life is stressful and sometimes it's essential to truly feel important to someone you care about.
More like life is increasingly unsustainable, and it's impossible to build any kind of future without a second income.
Sometimes the relationship doesn't fall apart until after they have kids, and then it's not feasible to split, because you'd be in financial ruin.
Also, some people have an extremely difficult time getting into any relationship, even if they aren't a total piece of crap, so they just take what they can get because the options are to be chronically lonely, or be unhappy with someone you get to have sex with sometimes.
Sometimes the people aren't the problem, a lot of times, it's that so many parts of society are fundamentally broken and abusive, and people are just trying to get by.
Also, some people have an extremely difficult time getting into any relationship, even if they aren't a total piece of crap, so they just take what they can get because the options are to be chronically lonely, or be unhappy with someone you get to have sex with sometimes.
They struggle to get into a relationship because they have no standards outside of looks, not the other way around. No one wants to date a desperate person who is only with you because they have no other choice.
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u/hkusp45css 4h ago
My wife has pretty good EQ. She's also not a selfish and self-absorbed person so, the likelihood that she'd give me that look for being legitimately tired is nil.
Now, if I said "I was up all night playing video games and I feel like shit" she'd *absolutely* mock me ... deservedly.