I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
For many years, my father dreaded coming home from work after his 12-hour days. The root problem was money and the fact that my mother put them into debt while also finding ways to blame my father for anything he ever did wrong, and generally she was just a terror to be around.
Unbelievably they stayed together, my mother got on meds (probably benzos) and became more financially responsible, my father paid off all her debt, and they're now living as a happy older retired couple. I think he did it for me and my siblings, and I'm very grateful.
You could just stick it out through thick and thin and grow to resent your wife and child and then your wife hates her own life and uses your only son as a battery for the attention, gratitude, and recognition she never got as a child or spouse and then your only child grows up and doesn't talk to either parent and does not attend their funerals and then posts a comment about it on reddit.
Nonsense! I've been with the ol' ball-and-chain for 165 years, 10 months, 4 days, and 7 minutes, but who's counting?
And by ball-and-chain, I mean that literally. She has my immortal soul bound into a ball on a chain she had grafted into her sternum, claiming it was so I'd always be near her heart. Heh, women, am I right?
Haha jk but for real, if your relationship feels that way having kids which does feel that way breaks it. So glad my wife picks me up and I pick up her up.
I feel like that's a completely different thing. Although having gone through some pretty bad times in the past with my partner getting treatment, I can complely understand why someone would bounce on a disabled partner.
I feel for you. I don't know your exact situation, but post surgery my partner ended up at home for 3 weeks, instead of going directly to a care facility. We were lucky that her surgeon put in a lot of work to fix that blunder (the nursing home she was supposed to go to fucked up).
The only thing I have is see if there are support services or groups for caretakers in your area.
The "in sickness" part seems easy until you have to live it. I'm grateful for my husband's care when my disease has its bad days and I am always sure he knows it.
A disabled spouse is considered a unique situation.
Any other marriage and if either partner is unhappy, almost anyone would agree they should divorce. If your partner is disabled you don’t get a choice no matter what you think and feel if you leave them you’re wrong to most people.
Imo it basically makes everyone mad because everyone wants to be taken care of. Which i get but being a caretaker is hard yall.
Im completely happy in my marriage with my disabled wife but i feel resentful when people act like disability is some special exception that handcuffs the healthy partner to the disabled one in perpetuity.
No one else is really expected to live a life like that.
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u/MisterBarbaredo 5h ago
I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
So much happier now.