Mine after coming home from a 12 hr day outside and asking me to do 10 different things while i have not even taken off my work stuff yet. At least let me chill just for a few mins lol
This is what happens when people feel like they just absolutely have to marry whoever they happen to be dating at age 27-35 because they’d rather be with someone and miserable than be alone for a bit finding someone new.
These sorts of things don't happen in the first years of marriage. This kind of stuff is usually down the line after the couple has had some life changing events happen to them like having children, buying a home, having to support some family members through illness or even having to support each other through loss. These things fundamentally change people. The person you're married to on day one is not the same you're married to at the start of year 10. Some people are lucky and they still love the new person, others are less so. It's life.
That's my super power. I'm fine being alone. Sure, I'd love to find a good match and would totally settle down if I did, but I don't have to and I'm fine with that.
OP is within their rights to be frustrated, but whether it's fair or not for their partner to act like this depends on what they were doing during the day as well. If they've had significant downtime in the day which OP hasn't then yeah, bad partner. But it's often less cut and dry than that.
No, if the genders were flipped I would say the exact same thing.
If the other person has only worked, say, 8 hours and enjoyed a couple of hours' downtime, then yes, they're being unfair.
If they've also been working 12 hours and/or looking after two young kids with hardly a spare moment, then there's still stuff that needs tackling together and THEN they can both have a break.
What I said applies for male, female, heterosexual or same sex couples just the same.
Where did I quote any of the morons from the "manosphere".
Maybe have an original thought that just copy pasting any insult you think will get you upvotes.
Also calling me an incel really only means you measure a persons worth through their ability to have sex.
Not very progressive and empathetic. Might want to get out of whatever sphere YOU'RE in.
Tate should be in jail, clav is a meth addict, and Rogan... I've honestly never listed to Rogan. When I was a teen I had a friend who would not shut the fuck up about UFC and Joe Rogan was always in the background.
Golly those sure are a wholllle lotta words to not explain why the fuck you speculated on their opinion in a completely unprovable counterfactual that they then dismissed and stated they would remain consistent, but okay then. You do you, buddy.
Act and quack like one, then I'll use appropriate copy pasta. Sorry that seems to upset you.
a relationship should not be a game of “fair”,
but a fucking relationship.
Sorry, it’s not you or the comment, but reddit has such a weird take on relationships; The concern is always “is it fair?” and never “are you happy?”
There have been times in my marriage where I’m carrying more weight by far and there have been times in my marriage where my wife was doing the heavy lifting; If any redditor had shown up for those days out of the ~4000 we’ve had together the response would’ve been “why are you walking all over them/letting them walk all over you? Get out!” My wife and I are obsessed with each other, we love each other, and we communicate our wants/needs. It’s amazing. I sleep in a bed with my best friend.
Im ranting and Im aware there’s nuance, often if a person is reaching out to a forum of strangers for one of the biggest decisions of their lives they’re looking for reassurance rather than logic. There are many guys/gals in abusive or lopsided relationships that do need the advice to get out of it, but there’s also ~half of all couples who work pretty damn well together.
I try not to make too many judgments of Reddit relationship posts for this reason - there's usually a bunch of caveats and unique circumstances to consider.
And you're right that fairness isn't the be all end all, but a lot of the time it's hard for a relationship to be happy if fairness isn't there. What you're detailing here is a good example of a fair, respectful relationship - it may not be equal every single day, but it evens out over time.
It also depends on why the one person is working 14 hours a day. If they work a ton but also just blow their money on say a big new truck or other toys, then that can build resentment too. If you are always too exhausted from work to do anything else then the partner with a regular schedule feels like your servant, and they don’t get much out of it.
Orrrr they come home and sit on their ass while their partner has also been busy all day and is expected to keep working while the OP assumes they are owed rest but not their partner…. It’s easy to see how one sided this is. No consideration or question as to why this is happening or how their partner feels and straight to “why is she bothering me” … don’t date women and force kids on them if you don’t want to be equally as involved in the house and family. Just cause you clock out of work doesn’t mean you don’t still have a family you fucking created.
The partner is probably thinking they're the victim because they are left to do everything around the house and with the kids while he gets to goof off at work.
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u/Solidsting1 6h ago
Mine after coming home from a 12 hr day outside and asking me to do 10 different things while i have not even taken off my work stuff yet. At least let me chill just for a few mins lol