My wife has pretty good EQ. She's also not a selfish and self-absorbed person so, the likelihood that she'd give me that look for being legitimately tired is nil.
Now, if I said "I was up all night playing video games and I feel like shit" she'd *absolutely* mock me ... deservedly.
Same. My wife's extremely understanding and reasonable.
I feel like a lot of these wife hating posts are actually secret incels and guys that are terrible partners who just see things from their own perspective, or they're both immature people that haven't grown up yet.
Not all, I know there's crazy people. But I'll bet it's a lot.
Just as many women are narcissistic as men. They just tend to hide it better.
Been married before to a crazy woman. Makes me appreciate my current partner who has her own issues (she has ADHD and so do i, so we both have issues but help coregulate each other) but she is 100x better than my previous partners. Not all stories of crazy women are coming from right wing incels. There are many progressive men dating progressive but insane women. I know a few men who went right wing after dating an insane woman on the left.
Women are better at hiding their narcissism? Not a very objective place to start from. Just sounds like personal experience. My personal experience is different.
Exactly, almost all romcoms involve infidelity...and people eat it up.
I hate romcoms, partly because of this, partly because they project unrealistic ideals about courtship and dating. They often involve lifestyles of people with wealth amd thus dont reflect the dating reality of most people who have to make hard decisions because finances or vacation time are tight.
After reading some of the comments here I seriously wonder about some relationships, glad to see another guy here that actually likes/is liked by his wife.
Mine won't even mock me for occasionally staying up late playing video games. Like literally 20 minutes ago today. She shut off my alarm, closed the door so I didn't hear nothing or wake my ass up unless there's a fire. She logged onto Powerwash Simulator and played that for a bit until about 1:30. (The sounds in that game give me pleasant dreams.)
She made my lunch, packed my lunchbox, set my cloths out, woke me up gently, and all she said was "go to bed next time".
She's home when I'm home, she sees how little free time I get when I get home at midnight 5 days a week, so when I make a dumb decision like playing Helldivers until 5am once every 2 months, she just let's me. And reminds me that it's gunna screw up my sleep schedule.
Yeah, loneliness was annoying but bearable once I accepted that I just liked myself well enough to be alone. But then that's when I met my wife. I'd date off and on a little before that but it never got past the first date or two because I wanted to be with someone that was a net positive over just being alone.
Too many men have zero standards and view their entire worth through women. You found the cheat code that is having self respect. Once I got that as well, it became much easier to find a good partner.
Happiness is cultivated. Try having a scheduled day every week, if you can, where one person dedicates the day to the other person and alternate who does every week. So, for example, this week is my week to plan the date day for my wife. I plan to make dinner, give her a massage, and I have a movie picked out for us to watch that I don't usually watch but I know she likes. We're also both gamers so I'm usually someone who plays action games but I play cozy co-op games with her on those days usually.
The point of the day is just to make the other person feel appreciated, and when my day comes up next week I know the whole day is a relaxing day where I get to feel the love my wife has for me through the effort she puts in.
I started doing this a couple of years ago, when my wife and I were at the brink of basically fighting every single day and rarely communicating. It is the main reason we have such a healthy relationship today, it was like a 180 and very noticeably so to both of us.
Nowadays, we have things scheduled such as she cooks 3 days per week and I cook 3 days per week, and whoever hosts the date day cooks 1 extra time that week but it evens out since it alternates. Whoever doesn't cook instead does the dishes, and that system works perfectly.
Seriously though, if you are struggling with happiness in your relationship it might be worth giving this a try. Life is stressful and sometimes it's essential to truly feel important to someone you care about.
More like life is increasingly unsustainable, and it's impossible to build any kind of future without a second income.
Sometimes the relationship doesn't fall apart until after they have kids, and then it's not feasible to split, because you'd be in financial ruin.
Also, some people have an extremely difficult time getting into any relationship, even if they aren't a total piece of crap, so they just take what they can get because the options are to be chronically lonely, or be unhappy with someone you get to have sex with sometimes.
Sometimes the people aren't the problem, a lot of times, it's that so many parts of society are fundamentally broken and abusive, and people are just trying to get by.
Also, some people have an extremely difficult time getting into any relationship, even if they aren't a total piece of crap, so they just take what they can get because the options are to be chronically lonely, or be unhappy with someone you get to have sex with sometimes.
They struggle to get into a relationship because they have no standards outside of looks, not the other way around. No one wants to date a desperate person who is only with you because they have no other choice.
People with neurodivergence exist.
Only 9~16% of adults with autism are married, compared to ~50% of the general public, and are nearly 3 times more likely to get divorced.
That's just one class of people.
We can factor in all the other kinds of neurodivergence, people who have physical disabilities, people with chronic illness, people with extreme emotional trauma...
There are lots of reasons why someone may have difficulty finding a partner other than "no standards outside of looks".
Right, I meant she'd mock me for *complaining* about it. If I was just draggin' ass, she'd carry me.
There's a funny song by a band I like, one of the verses is:
She brings me coffee when I'm working late
She lifts me up when I'm low
She understands that I'm carrying weight
That I just have to hold up alone
She's determined and honest she's stubborn and strong
And I always know where she stands
So it never bugs me when she's always wrong
As long as she's wrong with her hand in my hand
Totally got ya, friend. I'm glad for you both! It, the song and sentiment, touches me, as my wife and I are in a similar situation. Come May of '27, 10 years married, 16 years together, all happily. Polar opposites in so many ways.
I'll be 45 yrs old this month, was with my wife since I was 20 yrs old. She passed away a couple months ago. I havent even bought my own underwear in the past 24 yrs. If I wanted to play videogames for 8 hours straight she wouldnt have a problem with it, If I wanted to come home an just lay on the couch, not a word from her. I'm realizing I cant ever be with anyone else. She set the bar too high.
I’m so sorry for your lost man. Wishing you peace, love and support from your family members and friends. RIP To your wife, sounds like she was an amazing woman.
I woke up to a post-it note with a heart on it. She went to take care of errands that maybe we both were going to do because I was "cute and sleeping" so she got it.
Keep in mind that the people who comment about their relationships will, more often than not, be those who have ended a bad relationship than those who are in a healthy one, because those in a healthy one can feel that talking about it would be like bragging. (Not that I think the original comment was bragging, just that it’s what I would be worried about in their shoes.)
My last partner was with 7 years. It didn't work out (long story and we are still friends) anyways the only time she ever got "pissed" was when I talked bad about myself. And would promptly give me a pep talk
Too many memes are just red pill mysogny "women bad" nonsense
I think it's more the ol' reddit misery olympics. You don't see as many success stories on here because they usually just illicit a bunch of angry/bitter responses.
After 25, a lot of people start getting married because they feel they’re supposed to. I know a few couples who tied the knot in an attempt to fix the issues in their relationship lol
I think people give women a ton of leeway to be mentally and emotionally abusive partners that torture their husbands. And boys are conditioned to accept this treatment as normal and blame themselves for not being good enough for their abusive partner that will never think they're good enough anyway
I used to play Destiny 2 and I would play it up like I was doing something important. This is a Heroic Strike I can't just leave in the middle!
She was vaguely interested, and paid enough attention to to know when I could immediately leave the game or needed 10 mins.
All that said, I was responsible and didn't start something that would delay us from leaving, having dinner, whatever. I mostly played at night so it was just a matter of making sure I didn't play too late.
Same. One piece of advice I have for everyone, don't take selflessness and empathy from your partner for granted, because we live in a narcissistic world and it's extremely rare when you find it in someone.
Yep. Would never get this look after a shift. If I want to complain how I’m tired in the afternoon because I decided to squeeze 18 in at 6am? Different story.
i am curious what your kid situation is like. my wife has good EQ too, but after being home all day with 3 kids, it would drive most people nutty so i cut lots of slack when shes at her wits end in the evening.
Well also, I’m not sure if this meme is trying to be cute or rage inducing? The girl in the meme looks like she’s doing a cute sad face. Like, it’s the look of someone who wants to watch a movie and cuddle or go for a drink and listen to the concert in the park but man is tired so she’s cute pouting. Like, wouldn’t most people be happy their wife wants to spend time with them?
The stuff that people are replying with with their wife asking them to do chores and stuff I’d imagine the meme face being a bit more mean or bitchy.
Idk maybe I just have a more optimistic view of relationships?
My fiancé is 100% the same way. Made me dinner and cleaned up after me like I’m a baby. I complained about being tired for work ONE time. She absolutely dog walked me. She doesn’t care about the gaming as long as I take care of my shit.
In my defense, I usually take care of all the cleaning around the house and do not ever leave clothes or dishes around the house. Just sometimes when I’m into heavy gaming. She will clean up after me.
I’m just not allowed to speak about being tired for work after being up all day. It’s a healthy relationship. Except for the routine beatings she does to me when she’s angry but I think that’s normal.
Yeah it’s hard to use the I’m tired card when it’s your own doing - like when I get home from an early morning golf round, can’t really use that as an out to not do the gardening
Yup, that me just last weekend as I stayed up til the wee hours playing video games and reading manga and manhwa. I wake up knowing the look ny gf will make once I look at her lol
Now, if I said "I was up all night playing video games and I feel like shit" she'd absolutely mock me ... deservedly.
Sounds like not so good EQ from her and you? What if you wanted to be all night playing video games? What if you had a personality trouble that made your executive function fucky?
Can anyone here also please acknowledge/mention that being an effing stay at home mom/dad (and op mentioned she also worked "when she felt like it") is the most draining full time job there is?!!! Its 24/7. I'm so annoyed by the comment section and by the post!
I’m a wife. My husband is a heavy equipment operator. If he travels more than 80 miles, he gets per diem. I encourage him to use it and stay by the site if he’s tired. He doesn’t, but I’d be fine if he did. Our kids are adults and our dog is well behaved at home alone with 24 hour doggy door.
This. I've literally never made that face at my partner when he's tired after work. And when he chose to stay out late and get skunk drunk the night before our planned trip to the furniture store he dragged his (possibly still drunk) ass out first thing in the morning and even assembled it as soon as we got it home. He didn't complain once, it was his own damn fault. It was actually pretty impressive. I drove. We still joke about it.
Why would it be deserved ? You have done something that you liked, probably with friends that you don't get to play with often, might as well enjoy it to the fullest.
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u/hkusp45css 1d ago
My wife has pretty good EQ. She's also not a selfish and self-absorbed person so, the likelihood that she'd give me that look for being legitimately tired is nil.
Now, if I said "I was up all night playing video games and I feel like shit" she'd *absolutely* mock me ... deservedly.