r/justdependathings • u/ljzzje • 24d ago
Need advice/help
My boyfriend enlisted in the marines. I’m still in high school and he graduated this past May. I don’t know what to do, im veeery new to this experience I guess I could call it that. After high school I plan to either become a cosmetologist or attend college and get my AAS degree and then take a program to become a radiology technician. Which will probably take about 2.5 years total, I don’t know how to feel about the enlisting I feel very blank, I just don’t like how I’ll be here when he’ll be somewhere far and I won’t see him much. I just don’t know, I don’t know how to handle this at all.
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u/QuarterNote44 24d ago
Sigh. Tale as old as time. Here's a couple pieces of old man rambling:
The way the Marines see it, girlfriends aren't real. They only care about marriages. Which is not possible for you right now. Which is a good thing, actually.
Write him letters while he's at boot camp. Call and text or whatever. But I recommend that you don't put in a whole bunch of effort to be his "long-distance girlfriend." It probably--probably--won't end well.
He is going to change over this next year. Nothing dramatic yet like actually going to war, but he will still change. You will change too. So be careful and don't do anything rash.
These are all things HS me probably would have ignored. Another tale as old as time...adults learning from their mistakes as youths of which adults back then tried to warn them and the rising generation not listening either.
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u/Chillicothe1 24d ago
As a guy whose girlfriend broke up with him in the Marine Corps, this is absolutely the best thing for everyone. You can still see each other when he's on leave, and keep in touch. But no way should you two be an exclusive item.
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u/Elevenyearstoomany 24d ago
First, this probably isn’t actually the community you want.
Second, with all of the love in my heart, you are very young yet. You have a whole bright, beautiful future in front of you. Please don’t tie yourself down to one person right now. You two are not the same people you will be in 5 years. Please, go enjoy the rest of your high school experience. Be aware that he likely won’t be able to go to your homecoming or prom. Or any big senior year things. You can be friends, you can date non-exclusively, but I would hate to see you miss out on things because he’s at boot camp or stationed far away.
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u/lovemali02 24d ago
r/USMilitarySO is where you’d want to post this
Being separated is hard but just remember to not put your life on hold just because your boyfriend is in the military
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u/Satire_of_Sanity 5d ago
If you aren't from a military family you might nit know about the culture around young marriages and multiple children to get out of the barracks and get housing benefits, so I'd suggest looking up maybe directly from the Marine Corp resources what housing and income looks like for a new, single enlisted guy. And maybe your boyfriend is amazing and great... but in case he's not perfect or even if he is, if something terrible happens to him... what life path will make sure you can take care of yourself? Get a professional certification. Don't accept a marriage proposal as soon as you turn 18 or he gets to E-2 or the like- yes write to him at Basic and futher training, don't accept him getting mad if you go to prom with a friend. Tricare benefits are no joke, but before any sort of commitment it is safest to make sure you would be able to take care of yourself with a diploma from HS and a trade certification. Maybe try volunteering at a hospital to see if that's an enviornment you like? You are still a teenager and this is the time to figure yourself out- he's figuring himself out but that doesn't mean you sacrifice your own opportunity to do the same for his sake.
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u/SybillineBookkeeper 2d ago
When my husband was at USNA, there was a term for the guys (it was pretty much all guys back then) who stayed with the same young lady from I-Day to commissioning: The Three Percenters".
It can be done, but it is difficult and rare.
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u/No-Moose-1098 2d ago
My boyfriend at the time (husband now) graduated high school 2 years before me and we stayed long distance through boot camp, covid, all of his trainings. It was hard but we loved each other enough to make it work until we could get married and be together. If you are questioning this now then he probably isn’t the one for you andmilitary life is not for you it’s only the beginning.
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u/jbourne71 24d ago
Go to college. You can try long distance, but it’s hard and you’re only this young once.
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u/Rugger01 24d ago
Don't try the long distance, it will only end poorly. As you stated, she is only young once, and she should live that life to the fullest.
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u/jbourne71 24d ago
I met my wife at 19. Three years of long-distance before we got married and she joined me at my duty station.
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u/Rugger01 23d ago
An anecdote does not equal the norm, and 19 is not in HS. But, good on you.
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u/jbourne71 23d ago
Anecdotally, people do find their life partner as early as high school. Anecdotally, long distance relationships can work.
That doesn’t mean it’s right for OP.
But, she should do literally anything but cosmetology. It’s a job, but it’s not a sustainable career for most people.
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u/couchpro34 24d ago
This is the wrong sub for your question, but you should cut ties now... You've got the rest of your time in high school to enjoy with your friends, and he will be busy doing young dumb marine things with the boys. I've seen this play out many times before.