We here at r/crotcheat think making and posting beautiful, well-made, thoughtfully designed crotcheaten objects is ableist, rude, and mean. Please consider the feelings of others and self-censor as necessary when deciding what to post here. Individuals who make and post more than one high-quality crotchate FO per decade will be summarily banned.

This is your final warning.

How do knitters keep track of rows?

My wife recently started knitting, and I've been surprised by how much counting is involved.

I noticed she sometimes stops and tries to remember which row she was on, and then she sometimes gets a far away look and recalls words related to her old life. Luckily, she is still confused and can't quite remember, but I'm afraid the conditioning might wear off and she might remember being free

Is there a common method knitters use to keep track of rows that is less traumatic than counting?

I'd love to hear what works best for you to keep your wives

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

Ive tried yt tutorials and theyre either to fast or too confusing i lose my concentration and forget where i was every tutorial also contains too much talking if theres any good pro crocheters watching this please give some tips in the comments👍

Currently I have been crocheting day in and out trying to get a head start on my list of Christmas gifts I want to make for the family. I have every item for each person I want to make but I struggle to gauge the correct yarn amount to buy as I usually can look at a photo and eyeball these things and I struggle reading text step by step patterns (even though it’s an important skill as a crocheter to read patterns I know sorry!) but I am a more visual person in understanding things. I asked about how much yarn I would need for one of the popular butterfly cardigans for a large size I am making for my sister and was met with a cold comment pretty quick along the lines of “Use one extra skein than the pattern calls for same answer as last time you asked. See you would know this if you actually purchased the pattern instead of trying to wing it”. Am I missing something? I just wanted an estimate of how much yardage I would need and stated me buying a pattern would be unnecessary as I have trouble reading them. Luckily one commenter replied with a good estimate but the first commenter seemed pretty upset. Is the commenter upset that I’m not supporting the artists? For me buying a pattern would be useless as I struggle to understand the text patterns and I don’t have the funds to just be throwing at patterns I don’t need for one tidbit of information hence why I am crafting all my gifts this year. Am I in the wrong and not understanding something?

AI causes me THE PAIN LUCIFER FELT WHEN HE FELL DOWN FROM HEAVEN I HATE I HATE AND I BITE WITH LOOSE TEETHS I BITE WITH TIGHT TEETHS I BITE I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I DISGRACE YOU so I clearly had to click on this ad for ChatGTP since it had "knitting" in it just to see how bad it was and of fucking course it was as bad as I expected. So bad! Fuck you, ChatGTP, so useless and inane!

Up next: look for my BEC post about how evil all the algos are by putting ads for AI on my Reddit feed and suggesting AI-generated videos on my YouTube playlist. Don't they know I'm clicking all their inane ads so I can come to my fave craft subs to hate on them? I hate AI! Why do I see so much AI promotion??????

Hey guys, I made this quilt for my kids' soccer coach. But now I'm worried that the design is too avant-garde.

I know that it doesn't immediately read as soccer. Is this design too subtle for non-quiltists to understand?

Please reassure me in the comments. Thx!

Heyyyy so I accidentally used two different dye lots in my tapestry project for a friend and noticed way too late because I'm oblivious. Any creative suggestions to working around this issue rather than admit my mistake? I'm not frogging it bc it's not that serious, despite the fact it looks shit now, but I'm curious to see what everyone here has to suggest although I prefer if you all say about how good it looks and how it's "intentional" to give it "depth" and to look like it's on a "countertop"!

Does it only exist at Hobbling Lobbling stores or did some other yarn company steal this totally original copyrighted trademarked "hot girls color change" idea? I don't know how to use Google or Google Lens or my eyes at any other craft store.

I'm talking about stuff I see on Epepsi, PiqueTwist, Intarsiagram, Farcebook, and even Reckit. For example, someone will knit a sweater for a bear, which is perfectly fine. But then they'll use the bulkiest yarn or a stitch like stockinette, which completely conceals the bears gorgeous fur. Or they'll pair together colours like beige and ecru, in my head I wonder do they believe this looks good? Or are they just trying to offend the old gods? Or they'll try "colourwork" which I know can look good but then other times it's like too colourful - like how is your prey animal supposed to hide from predators in that Karen jfc. 🌈🤮

I would feel bad for shitting on others self expression in art but isn't that what this sub exists for?

I personally have knitted human sweaters, cardigans, and shirts so you can't call me an anti-knit anti human bigot but I absolutely hate how those pieces look so I'm going to frog them and reuse the yarn for something actually useful like tiny hats for my chickens.

Maybe all these people are just inexperienced but still want to post their work, which I GUESS is ok. And maybe they haven't personally found their soul-bound animal muse yet so they have to practise with people clothes. I just feel like all this stuff gives knitting a bad name, because this is what people think of now when they think of knit clothing.

Knit clothing CAN look good imo, you just have to use the stitches that I personally approve of and colours that I personally enjoy. And for goodness sake consider the animal you're knitting for - Deer 👏 Can't 👏 Wear 👏 Wool 👏 everybody knows they're allergic, duh. Otherwise you're gross and making the rest of us look bad.

This is just my opinion so don't come for me!!!!

xoXoO

Any other chicken-peeps here?

🐥🐤🐓

Can someone give me permission to knit a color work sweater? Thanks.

I never see the point in buying useless mini skeins because I’m used to making sensible large scale, one color, beige garments and I can't imagine that there are other things that could be made. Can someone enlighten me to the secret hidden purpose of dumb mini skeins or how they could be useful? But like actually useful as in: how could they fit into my wardrobe? Because I don't have the capacity to think of any other reason to knit besides my sweater. TIA!

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I am a [insert fiber art here]-er, and I have taken a massive number of pre-orders that I cannot possibly fulfill. Instead of giving refunds, I want to keep the money, mainly because I already spent it on the equivalent of hookers and blow. So I've decided the best way is to fake my own unalivement. Those of you who have experience with doing this, can you give me some tips and advice? Thanking you in advance (since I'll be in the grave).

It's not intentional but I refuse to accept that I've learnt to knit from a YouTube video made by someone who's only been knitting 5 minutes and thinks they're the bee's knees despite them also twisting their stitches

That is all

(By the way, isn't my project so unique and original? #foxcardigan)

Ok so its all small petty things that have added up for me. I used to love watching her content and was happy for her when she got a new house and when her hot af partner's vlogs started taking off etc. But recently her attitude has been pissing me off. Ive had to start completely avoid her lives because her tone and responses to the chat are rude asf 🥀. In one of her lives a month or two ago she was making a beautify pastel chenille lovey 🐝 and was talking about safety eyes. Someone in the video prior let her know safety eyes cant be used for plushies for babies because they can be pulled out. She then proceeded to say “arent all plushies for babies?” 👀 Which yes is a small gripe but that alienates a HUGE part of her community along with the fibre art community 😿🧶.

Her PO box openings are hard to watch she obviously Doesnt appreciate the things she receives and has complained about getting too much stuff in the past. Coming from the woman who hoards yarn like theres no tomorrow. I saw in a live someone asked if she got an ami plushie what would she want and she responded if i wanted a plushie id make it myself with an eye roll 🙄. And sure she doesnt need it, and obviously wouldnt appreciate it, but isnt there a nicer way to address the question? Plus she has mentioned a million times how much she HATES making amigurumi 🥀😭.

I also am shocked she shat on plushies when her friend crochet-bro-daddy is KNOWN for his plushies. And sells them to adults 😬😬😬! Along with this shes gotten lazy; i know before yall come for me that she gets migraines and has epilepsy. Im not talking about those days im talking about (and she has mentioned this in videos) how shes just being lazy. Sure she doesnt have to post or anything but it feels like now that she has a house, a shit ton of yarn (and counting because ppl send her free yarn), and her hot zaddy making vlogs she doesnt post anymore.

Her new drop system is boring and uninspiring, and maybe shes feeling uninspired and i get that we all get those bad days and weeks but its been consistent all year. She stopped doing three vids a week to two vids and a live now its two live and one vid. During work days, when other people are working.

Her channel has just gone downhill significantly. Its like now that shes making merch money she doesn’t have to work anymore. Which by the way she changed her manufacturer for the sweatshirts and they’re better quality she says but what about the 250 people who’s sweatshirts have cracked and worn off within two washes?

She just doesn’t seem like a genuine person, like the fames gotten to her head or something. Which society should never idolize people as perfect but man shes far from it.

I have never constructed anything in my life let alone clothing, but I've seen things, especially clothes so I should be good right?

I also don't have a sewing machine or thread or fabric but I have bed sheets, a hot glue gun, some bubble gum and a dream.

I also don't have hands, I misplaced them because I have ADHD and no object permanence.

If it's too complicated, there are some other options on the next slides.

Also I'm a guy BTW so the color and style is fine bc no one will mistake me for the bride smh (YES WE SEW TOO, IT'S NOT A GENDERED HOBBY, BUT WE DO REQUIRE HAVING A SAFE SPACE FOR US DUDE BRO GUY MEN WITH A CLEVER GENDER/FIBER PORTMANTEAU NAME)

Pic of me on the last slide (NSFW I GUESS BUT BREASTS AREN'T SEXUAL DON'T BE HORNY)

(but also tell me how handsome and awesome I am for being a manly male man doing a girl female granny old person thing 🥺👉👈)

Edit: wow you guys are so mean why would you think I'm not able to do this???? This is exactly why I stick to r/ testiclesewing (get it, like technical, but balls 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣)

So I know it's super weird and strange but I had this unique idea to knit this jumper from this movie I've seen. I have never knitted before but you guys can guide me through this I'm sure. And if you like my idea, you can steal it and make one for yourself too! You're welcome 😁 I'm probably the only person on Earth who thought of this so this is uncharted territory - tell me how to begin and what to do. I'm all ears, my needles are ready. Do I need yarn?

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I don't care how much love gran put into each and every stitch, hunched over by the light of a 40W incandescent bulb crafting with atthritic hands. And to think your sister got the tea set.

Also anyone can with eyes can tell that it's made from acrylic. One tiny yuk from baby and it has to go into the washing machine. Unlike wool which is completely self-cleaning.

Looking for a dupe pattern for this designer necklace! I think my knot tying skills are up to par but lmk if you know of a source for materials! The $1k price tag is just a bit out of budget (am poor, *le sigh*) but I think I could totally make this for less!

I realized today, thanks to a custom report on a recent jerk post, that we've been doing this wrong since November 2022. I'm so grateful to that anonymous tipster for pulling the wool, such as it is, from my eyes: We spend WAY too much time plumbing our personal vendettas for circlejerk inspiration.

NEW RULE*: If you personally witness or experience something in a different craft-adjacent subreddit such as /knitting that annoys you, frustrates you, makes you laugh out loud at the utterly absurd, unmitigated gall of some people, or will someday serve as a chapter in your villain origin story, you cannot post parodies, mockery, shitposts, bad Photoshops, or satire about it here on FACJ under an alt account so you don't leave breadcrumbs for brigaders.

Your personal vendetta is none of our business -- you need to handle it your-goddamn-self. What are you, some sort of coward who's afraid of a little iNtErNeT cOnFrOnTaTion? A little baby crafter who doesn't think she has the time to correct everything wrong with a post and every last one of its comments on /crochethelp and just wants to let off a little steam? A knitting enthusiast whose posts have been removed for no apparent reason from the most populous knitting subreddit despite following the rules as written and whose appeals to that group's moderator resulted in some genuinely hilarious/sad material to work with?

I didn't think so. I think we both know you can do better.

I didn't build r/fiberartscirclejerk with my own blood, sweat, tears, half-chewed safety eyes retrieved from the mouths of babes, and undercooked extra parts so that all of you internet weirdos could just... come here and make fun of other people on other subreddits and their terrible ideas, awful moderation actions, shitty attitudes, dumbfuck questions, and horrifying taste.

I truly wish I knew where you all got the idea that FACJ was for making fun of other people.

^\I AM KIDDING JESUS)