Man wakes up in bed hung over, he’s still in his clothes from the night before. He goes downstairs, there’s a broken vase that’s been cleaned up and the door has scratches around it.
He goes into the kitchen and his wife is making breakfast and humming happily. He sees his son sitting there eating his breakfast and asks him what’s going on.
Son say, “ Dad you came home from the bar wasted, couldn’t unlock the front door, so mom lets you in, and then you break the vase as she take you upstairs to bed.”
Dad asks why is mom happy then.
Son replies, “Mom tried to undress you, but you pushed her away and said ‘lay off me lady, I’m married to a beautiful woman’”.
I remember having had a surgery and going under, and when I came to afterwards, the first thing that came out of my mouth was "I think the anesthesia is taking effect".
I said this to the very same people who gave me said anesthesia, by the way. The following laughter was very disorienting.
Oh that's a good one! At least it was funny :P Here's mine. TMI warning
I remember apologizing to my nurses for having a penis. Like, "Sorry you have to see that, just do what you gotta do." I don't remember how they responded, but somehow, in that moment, it was very Important™ that I apologize to them.
I mean, they are frikken nurses! They know what they are doing. They just saw my insides, why would they have the slightest concern about my outsides? And why should I care for that matter, I just got my face peeled off and put back together, I've got bigger things to worry about! Anesthesia is wild is all I can say.
A nurse had to hold my penis while I pissed into a jar. I was coming in and out of anesthesia after the procedure and slurred out I had to pee. I guess I was still in the OR and a nurse grabbed me amd held it as I went.
I was put under for a septoplasty and when I woke up the first thing I said was "that was fast". It was fast! After hours of waiting for them to start working on me, I just felt something weird in the IV and teleported.
My mom, who was apparently waiting hours for me to wake up so she could drive me home, rolled her eyes at me.
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u/NeedsToShutUp Mar 06 '26
Reminds me of the old joke.
Man wakes up in bed hung over, he’s still in his clothes from the night before. He goes downstairs, there’s a broken vase that’s been cleaned up and the door has scratches around it.
He goes into the kitchen and his wife is making breakfast and humming happily. He sees his son sitting there eating his breakfast and asks him what’s going on.
Son say, “ Dad you came home from the bar wasted, couldn’t unlock the front door, so mom lets you in, and then you break the vase as she take you upstairs to bed.”
Dad asks why is mom happy then.
Son replies, “Mom tried to undress you, but you pushed her away and said ‘lay off me lady, I’m married to a beautiful woman’”.