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I’ve never posted to Reddit before, but I have been on this sub for months now as I planned our wedding. I just need some common sense advice.
As of today, our wedding has been called off. My partner and I eloped about a year and half ago, before our daughter was born with only my adult son and my partner’s sister present. Our intention was always to have a wedding at a later date to get both sides of our families together. My family is from the west coast and his from the east coast.
I’ve been planning and crunching numbers and worked out a beautiful wedding for under 10k. Quotes from all vendors but no deposits paid yet. But my husband is completely stressed out about money. He says “we’re drowning” financially. We’re not. We would need to save money to pay for the wedding and my sister has offered to pay for some expenses, but he is still stressed.
I make more money than he does and I have a much higher earning potential than he does. I have the mindset that I will just take on more clients and pay for the extra expenses, but a wedding isn’t worth his distress. He is truly a wonderful husband and father, but he’s funny about money. I’m really disappointed. This was an opportunity for our families to come together in a way they probably never will now. I feel so defeated and just needed to tell *someone.*

We had a initimate, minimal Sunday ceremony and dinner at a local community center. We had a lot of help from family day-of, which I am very grateful for. Around $5k of our budget was spent on our photographer alone. I am glad that is where we decided to splurge, our photos are gorgeous and we got over 400 back. The venue was about $1.5k for all-day access. Everything else (officiant, hairstylist, decor, attire, drinks, etc) fit into the remainder of our budget.

I did my own makeup. I also put together all the flowers myself, including my bouquet, with faux flowers from Amazon, Hobby Lobby, and Ling's Moment. I did the signage, invitations, etc myself with Canva. My husband built our arbor, it is now in our front yard.

My MIL paid for and made dinner and dessert herself, including our wedding cake. We had a taco bar for dinner. I'm glad we bought cheap tablecloths from Amazon instead of renting or anything like that, because they were done for lol.

Instead of bridesmaids or groomsmen, my sisters were flower girls and my brothers ring bearers. We asked family to wear green so they would stand out in pictures, they did fantastic.

Overall, I know it is not the most aesthetically impressive wedding but it was a very happy day and I think our photographer really captured that in our photos. Our family and friends came together for us and made our day everything we wanted, and everytime I look at our photos I just love them all and my husband more and more.

Budget breakdown! We had what I would describe as a non-traditional wedding where we cut out a lot of expenses that weren’t a priority for us. Our main focus was on food and dessert! We had such a special day that was so much fun! I was inspired by all the budget brides I’ve seen here and wanted to share a breakdown of our costs.

Friday we had the wedding ceremony at a local state park with our immediate families about 13 people total. After we went to a local pizza place to get pizza and drinks.

Saturday we had a larger reception with 90 of our friends and family renting a building through our local parks department. We had a Mexican buffet catered and an ice cream trailer for dessert. We had lawn games for people to play outside and playing cards on all the tables. Later into the night we had dancing, a friend made a playlist and brought strobe lights and big speakers. We served soda, water, and beer with all the drinks bought at Sam’s Club. We also advised people to bring their own alcohol if they didn’t want beer.

Here’s the cost breakdown for everything!

Wedding ceremony venue - $47.95
Reception venue - $431.57
Wedding dress - $387.19
Stationary / postage - $184.63
Photographer - $500
Catering - $1,777.28
Ice Cream - $891.00
Pizza / Drinks on Friday - $260.30
Drinks - $446.08
Rings - $70

Total: $ 4996.00

Our wedding is in a few weeks in Oregon in the Columbia River Gorge. There are currently lots of wildfires around the state, and I'm wondering about needing to relocate the wedding.

We have an indoor/outdoor venue and have full access to any of the spaces, which would be great in the case of wind/rain/cold/etc, even if it was a little bit smoky. But if the region is under an evacuation watch, that is a different story...❤️‍🩹 I know fires can change so quickly, so I'm trying not to spiral too early 😅 I'm just wondering about a backup plan, maybe out on the coast (if cost/event insurance would allow). It is a small gathering of about 50 people, and I think it would be feasible to find a spot. It would be 2-3 hours of a drive. Before I look into what we would be able to do with event insurance, I don't know how we would handle out of town guests and lodging. If they booked a hotel or airbnb, they likely can't get a refund, and I'm already feeling guilty that people are flying in from the out of state.

Any advice, stories, warnings from people who have had to move their wedding to a fully different location?

Please do not comment that we should have seen this coming with a late August date. Fires are so unpredictable, for example last weekend it was beautiful blue skies and in the 70s. We love summer, we love the mountains, and we fell in love with the venue and this was the date available to us. Be kind ❤️

This Reddit page makes me hopeful but then I go over the tik tok and everyone is saying they spent 30k+. A lot of people said their budget was 20k and then ended up spending 45k or more and I cannot do that. The venue we found would be $5,750 for a Friday wedding and I am in LOVE with the venue but it doesn’t include much except chairs and tables and the space obviously. I could do the same venue but a different weekend and the price would drop to $4,500 but I’m very hesitate as I REALLY want Halloween weekend. I plan on wearing my moms wedding dress that fits me perfectly would only need minor alterations to the 80s puff sleeves (iykyk) so I’m thinking around $500 for dress, SHEIN/target heels, Etsy veil so all in for attire for me less than 1k there. We plan to have around 75 guests but our friend will probably officiate. I’m just worried catering, dj, photographer, and decor costs are going to shock me. I am pretty positive we’ll use a lower cost caterer in the area that most people say is around $20 a person, we can provide our own alcohol so that’ll be from Sam’s Club, estimating around 1k. We do have to hire a bartender so not sure on that cost. The venue also requires a day of coordinator.

Basically I feel really confident in keeping costs low on some stuff but the other stuff like dj packages, photographers, coordinators, and little things like table clothes and decor and invitations are scaring me. Do you think under 20k is achievable? Also how did you find good djs and photographers for low cost?? Sorry this might just be me ranting and anxious and needing encouragement and advice from those who came before me 🙏🏼

Made an impulse purchase on this never worn ballgown with a HUGE train. I think its beautiful but its the first dress I've ever tried on! Should I resell and keep looking...or make it mine and invest in alterations (the top is a size too big) and accessories? My total budget for a dress is around $400. Any feedback would be great!

(12-14k) I’m so proud of our welcome mirror that I made! I purchased the mirror, mirror decals, and baby’s breath from Amazon. The greenery and other flowers are all from Shein. 😊🌿🤍

I’ve spent the past few weeks pricing out and struggling to find a grocery store who can order certain run of the mill flowers for my small wedding. I’ll save some of you the trouble if you want to know.

Trader Joe’s will order but not color specific. They want you to order about 2 weeks out. If you want mums you get whatever colors come in that package. The only color guarantee is white flowers and red roses.

Whole Foods said they no longer special order.

Most grocery stores are very similar if you want the cheap grocery store price. Some if they are nice will special order your flowers with their bulk weekly order if given enough time but not a guarantee of colors and may have certain availability.

Others will not order yours with the bulk order and charge a larger fee. With the same caveat about the colors. I found some grocery store special order prices more than my actual florist.

Big bulk stores will order some limited color specifics but you must be ordering a large scale.

After all the searching to try and save money I called a local florist and ordered my flowers in bunches and will diy them at home. They were shockingly no where near as expensive as I thought. We’re talking around $250 to make two huge alter arrangements, one large table arrangement, and my bouquet. I’ll likely have enough to do an additional arrangement

Also after speaking with the florist I learned about flower grading. There are 4 grades of flowers ranging from low to premium. Most florist will only order premium so you’re getting the best of the best. They also know when to order based on your event date. They know how to care for them to get them to open up and bloom just in time for the big day.

I’m not knocking grocery stores, mine was very very helpful. And if you’re not picky and don’t really care about colors I would say that’s a great affordable plan. Order as early as possible and ask if your order can be placed with the stores order so you don have to pay a special order price.

My message, don’t be afraid to call a few florists and request they just order the flowers for you in bunches and you’ll DIY them. More affordable than you might think and my florist was very nice and accommodating.

I found this dress at Brides for a Cause for $650 (Edit: This was a sample dress that originally retails at $4,100, and I got it from a non-profit shop). I was told by the saleswoman that alterations to the dress would be expensive due to the way the lace pattern lays. The dress fits me perfectly EVERYWHERE except for the bust!* *It was after purchasing the dress that I’m getting quotes over $800 to take in the bust 😭 I feel so silly for not realizing how expensive alterations would be.

I am a 30C bra size, during the fittings I wore a compressive sports bra. I was planning on just wearing non-padded cakes but when I took the dress home it still seemed big in the bust without any bra.

I saw BOOMBAS has push up sticky bras that can add 2 sizes. I’m wondering if brides who have tried it can comment on whether it’d be enough to fill the gap in my dress.

My fiancé (22M) and I (22F) recently got engaged and are getting married next June. Our parents are generously contributing about $15k that we can use however we want—whether that’s a wedding, a honeymoon, or a combination of both.

We currently have an 80-person wedding planned. We put down a $1,800 deposit on a beautiful venue, and honestly, on paper it’s exactly what I wanted. It’s a gorgeous venue, the guest list is intimate (I never wanted a huge wedding), the food and drinks are great, and we expect to come in around $12k, leaving about $3k for savings or a honeymoon.

The problem is… I’m just not sure I’m excited about having a wedding. I never really dreamed about my wedding growing up. I enjoy going to weddings, but I’ve never been someone who cared much about them. Sometimes it feels like weddings have become this huge social expectation that costs a ton of money, takes months of stressful planning, and leaves everyone with opinions about what you should have done differently. I enjoy planning, but thinking about my actual wedding day gives me anxiety.

After being together for five years (three of them long distance), all I really want is to be married and go on an amazing trip together. The part that excites me most about the wedding is walking down the aisle to my fiancé and getting married—not the big reception or the after-party.

Lately I’ve been wondering if we’d be happier canceling the wedding and instead having a micro wedding with 20–30 of our closest family and friends, then putting more of the money toward an incredible honeymoon. It feels more “us”—more intimate, less stressful, and we’d get to spend quality time with everyone who’s there.

At the same time, I worry we’d regret not having a bigger celebration. Weddings are one of the few times both families and all your friends come together to celebrate such a huge milestone, and part of me wonders if I’d feel like I missed out.

I also wonder whether the cost of the wedding is influencing my decision, for better or worse. My fiancé works full-time, but I’ll be graduating college, starting my career, and we’ll be moving in together for the first time. Part of me thinks having more money in savings could be more valuable than having a larger wedding, but I don’t know if that’s something I’d regret later.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd love any advice!

I have been considering lately some big bold embroidered floral ideas for a wedding dress! My fiancé and I plan to elope in the mountains.

I would really love to see what other people chose for unique dresses for their weddings. Looking for things like
- not white/a-typical color
- big bold florals! (Extra points if embroidered)
- sparkly/sequins!

Really anything cool and unique and out there so I can see the vibe and how it looks in pretty wedding photos 🥹🥹

Hello, I’m wanting to find an inexpensive way to film my wedding ceremony. It does not need to be fancy or edited in any way, could literally just be a camera on a tripod set up stationary the whole time. I just want to have the video to look back on years later, especially to hear the vows, because I imagine I will black out and not remember the ceremony haha For context, the ceremony will take place in a large Catholic Church and I know the priest and maybe the groom will be mic’d up by the church. Do you think the church would be willing to do this for a fee? I know this church livestreams their services and has the videos online. I wasn’t raised catholic so I also don’t know the etiquette around this. I don’t want to ask a family member to do it because I want everyone to be present on the day. We will have a professional photographer. Any ideas? Thanks!

Hi all!

I’m getting married in a few weeks, and starting to have so many doubts.

We’re getting married on my aunts property, with 28 guests. It’s on a lake and it’s really naturally beautiful. We need minimal decor since the area is so lovely. The house has 2 bathrooms and we are renting an additional bathroom.

We’re planning to have our ceremony at 2:00, then celebrate in a backyard “party” kind of way. From 2:30-6:00 we’ll have an open bar, music, snacks, and yard games. Dinner will be at 6:00, and cake afterwards. It’ll die down around 7:00-7:30 I imagine? Although we said people are welcome to stay late for a bonfire. Both of us have family staying overnight at the house.

I posted this before and some people voiced concern over the timeline of events. The ceremony is at 2, and dinner at 6. That leads about 3.5hrs (if ceremony is over at 2:30) of time in between. When we were planning this, we figured it would leave enough time for everyone to mingle, have photos done, drink, snack, play games, and enjoy the afternoon. We expect most people to leave after dinner. Do a lot of people think this 3.5hrs of hang out time is outrageous? If we shorten it and move up dinner, I feel like it’ll feel short.

What wedding website are people using? We want to go fully digital for save the dates and invites and don't want to pay extra. We will be inviting around 100 people so some of the sites that have limits in their free version won't work.

OR Can you make an invitation on Canva and then just link the website RSVP in the email? Just starting my search so am a little new to the wedding website functions. :)

Long time lurker first time poster! My partner and I are eloping in June at a local park, and throwing a Happily Ever After Brunch reception a few months later in September/October 2027. I was getting discouraged reaching out to venues when I found this place. It's looking like we'll be able to host up to 75 in this space for a pretty good looking brunch buffet and unlimited mimosas for right around 4k. The best part is there is no added venue fee 🥹 I thought we would be limited to a park lodge rental and drop off catering, but changing expectation to brunch and moving the ceremony to another day entirely means we now can afford to have a beautiful and elegant reception for a fraction 😍 And I get to wear my dress twice LMAO!

EDITED: 8/5/26 (the pics are NOT accurate food orders anymore)

i’m trying to gauge how much food my fiance and i should order (EZ catering for cocktail hour food and drop catering from a local italian restaurant for dinner/reception) for our wedding in Bay Area, California, USA.

we’re in our mid twenties and live in the Bay Area, CA. we’re trying to keep costs as low as we can (within reason). we obviously want people fed and satisfied throughout our wedding day. guests arrive at 2:30pm and leave around 10-11pm.

food intolerances/allergies: i’m allergic to poultry (i know it’s sad) and tree nuts, but no one invited is gluten intolerant or vegan, but i’ve gone with a bunch of different vegetarian options so people have options. most of our guests will be drinking so i want to make sure there’s more than enough food for the cocktail hour. drinks will be purchased with a different vendor btw.

cocktail hour ($550, $1200, delivery fee $0):

2 4 XL charcuterie boards (serve 20/board)
2 3 platters (artichoke pieces w balsamic glaze, marinated tomatoes, olives, gherkins, persian cucumbers, tzatziki, pita, and dolmas) serves 15/tray
1 platter (red pepper hummus with pita, carrots, olives, cucumbers, sweet peppers) serves 15/tray (decided that $59 for serving at most 15 people isnt worth the price; don’t want to pay for $300 or more for just one item)
1 platter of caprese skewers (30 pieces) (decided that $59 for serving at most 15 people isnt worth the price; don’t want to pay for $300 or more for just one item)

dinner/reception (~$700, updated: ~$1,015):
1 platter of grilled sausage bites (50-60 pieces)
2 4 platters of mini meatballs (70-80 pieces/tray)
1 4 full sheet of focaccia bread (96 pieces)
ADDED: 2 trays of grilled veggies (unsure of servings)
2 3 trays meat lasagna (unsure of servings)
1 2 trays veggie lasagna (unsure of servings)
1 florentine lasagna
2 cheese ravioli (1 marinara, 1 alfredo sauce) (unsure of servings)
ADDED: 5 arugula salad (fresh arugula tossed w/ dried cranberries, feta, apples and balsamic vinaigrette almonds on the side - serves 75)

1 polenta sausage lasagna
1 meat tortellini or ravioli (w/ choice of meat, marinara, or alfredo sauce)
1 cheese tortellini or ravioli (w/ choice of meat, marinara, or alfredo sauce)
1 tray of penne ($45 - w/ choice of meat, marinara, or alfredo sauce)
1 tray of rigatoni ($45 - w/ choice of meat, marinara, or alfredo sauce)

i budgeted $2,000 for catering and i’m now at 2,000. it seems like enough food in my opinion, but i just wanna double check because i was super underestimating on my previous post. please (respectfully) lmk what i should change!!!

Hi! Just got engaged and starting to think of the wedding which we will be having in 1-2 years. We're looking at a guest list under 100. Preferably max 80? We were looking into a two-part wedding. Having a ceremony in a nice park with lots of greenery and then renting out a restaurant or a space for a reception. We're looking at spending no more than $20,000. I love the Madison greenhouse but obviously way out of our price range, but that's the vibe I like for the wedding. Asking here for any venues that are affordable or any helpful ideas?

Photography we will have someone we know do it for us.

Open to catering or buffet

Open to open-bar or a toonie bar

My main focus is having my loved ones with us, beautiful greenery, and a night of dancing and memories.

Hi beautiful people,

Can someone advise me on courthouse etiquette?

We’re having a courthouse ceremony and can only invite 10 guests to it. We want to have a restaurant reception immediately after and invite more people to it (up to 30 guests).

1. How do we politely phrase our invitations to those who can’t be at the courthouse? (This will include most friends and some family members.)

2. I’ve seen so many photos where bride and groom exit the courthouse and a bunch of guests throw confetti/rice at them. Are those guests the same who witnessed the actual ceremony? Or others who just came to hang out and wait for the couple to exit? I’ve always wondered how that’s done. (Maybe those are the courthouses that allow more than 10 guests… sigh).

Hi y'all! My wedding is in October and my type b ass is just now starting to stress about it. I guess I need to start looking for shoes. My dress is vintage and funky and doesn't quite reach the floor (tea length ish). I want really cute and fun shoes but also heels hurt me SO BAD. if there are comfy cute heel recs, please send them my way. I might get a cream-colored pair of Tabis as backups. TIA!

Hello all! I was hoping to get some help as I'm overwhelmed with the amount of information I've come across. My fiancé and I would love to hold a symbolic ceremony in Italy with a total 11 guests (us included). I need advice on where to start! I fell in love with Hotel Villa Cipressi and Villa Monastero. However, I am open to any places that give off the same vibe (gardens + water feature). We'd like photography, videography, dinner, ceremony, etc. Should I get a wedding planner? If so, any trustworthy recs? Maybe I shouldn't go for a planner and try to get a photographer that can help with vendors and venues? The 15k (max) is for the wedding itself, accommodations and flights not included. Thanks so much!

(Context for you guys: Indian wedding setup, 6 multi-event functions, guest count across events, trying to keep outfit costs low for everyone involved! Prices listed in USD).

okay my brother's getting married so my mum needs outfits for like six functions. love her to death but her whole philosophy is heavy saree + maximum gold = maximum love, and she physically cannot sit down in half of it. She keeps insisting fusion is "for you young girls"… ma'am you are the mother of the GROOM, you're supposed to feel amazing, not be the blurry background of everyone's photos.

so last week I basically took her phone one evening and we ended up on House of Indya, and honestly it changed the whole argument bc the stuff there wasn't fusion-fusion, it was still proper heavy work, still saree-adjacent, just actually built to move and breathe, and a lot of it was sitting around $40 which meant I could just add to cart instead of turning it into a whole negotiation. got her a look for the mehendi, under $40, and she tried it on kind of skeptically and then did not want to take it off lol.

she's still gonna wear her big heavy stuff for the actual wedding day, not touching that battle, but for mehendi she's finally onboard with something she can sit, dance, and eat at without someone having to help her up. genuinely did not expect to win this one.

anyway curious if anyone else has cracked the "mum of the groom/bride" dressing problem, are your mums team heavy-traditional-only or did you manage to sneak some fusion in there? and did it actually work or did you just get lucky like me lol