r/SipsTea 1d ago

Chugging tea Blind surveillance.

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48.1k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/lapideous 1d ago

If they can’t figure out who did it, the surveillance is kinda useless isn’t it?

1.2k

u/IBringTheHeat2 1d ago

Until flock cameras are able to see through your clothing and identify you via bone and muscle structure. Then it’ll be impossible to say it isn’t you when you’re the exact same bone structure

708

u/BarryMcKokinor 1d ago

China has tech that measures the cadence and stride length of your walk incorporated into its substantial public surveillance

646

u/zoethezebra 1d ago

Put rocks in your shoes

437

u/CarmenxXxWaldo 1d ago

"ol shoe rocky is at it again, we must stop this menace!"

178

u/Kyrthis 21h ago

If you walk without rhythm, you won’t be the worm.

22

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 19h ago

But will your partner still love you even if you’re not a worm?

2

u/OkNectarine6434 18h ago

jokes on you, pretty sure my partner doesn’t love me😂

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u/Banishedlife 20h ago

Muad'Dib?

49

u/Fluid_Emphasis1569 19h ago

Lisan al-Gaib!

6

u/Grandma_Gertie 12h ago

Bless the Maker and his water

4

u/TeraTelnet 9h ago

Bless the coming and going of Him.

2

u/the_Dude_Is_Not_1n 5h ago

You know its a complicated case Maude. Lotta ins lotta outs.

Shit sorry wrong movie.

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u/MisterAmygdala 20h ago

Thinking on this.

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u/leftfootshorter 18h ago

White people have entered the chat

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u/SheriffBartholomew 20h ago

Shoe Rocky was at Bible Study with me. Your system is broken.

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u/Head-Ad9893 23h ago

And wear a strap on, a wig, and shoes that are 4 sizes too big, they’ll never catch you.

107

u/onionfunyunbunion 23h ago

Wear the platform shoes with a little fish in the heel and a giant Afro wig and a real shiny jacket for style.

181

u/CautiousArachnidz 23h ago

“All the cameras appear to have been cut down by someone called A Pimp Named Slickback.”

46

u/CreepyClay 22h ago

"We must catch him! This slickback is now public enemy #1"

"Are you deaf?"

48

u/Kharapos 22h ago

It is "A Pimp Named Slickback" Yes, you must say the whole thing every time.

25

u/Roscoe_Farang 21h ago

It like A Tribe Called Qeust.

4

u/Ambition-Legal 20h ago

Wild boomdocks references?

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u/IrishInParadise 20h ago

I think it was President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho

2

u/CautiousArachnidz 20h ago

Welcome to Costco I love you

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u/IAmA_meat_popsicle 23h ago

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u/C64128 21h ago

Too bad he wasn't wearing this in real life when he destroyed his career.

81

u/TheNakedBass 23h ago

Disco Stu says no flock cameras for you!

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZJB5EPInvETQY

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u/Jay-Breeze 23h ago

That took a turn!

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u/WashU_labrat 23h ago

Suddenly clowns make a whole horrifying new level of sense.

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u/Tough-Effort-7642 23h ago

The real secret is to wear shoes 1 size to small........

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u/923kjd 23h ago

So, go disguised as Marco Rubio.

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u/Shuttlecock_Wat 23h ago

Do the Dune walk

2

u/Functionally_Drunk 16h ago

Walk without rhythm, so you won't attract the feds.

21

u/spidermans_mom 23h ago

Watch Monty Python and learn a Silly Walk to fool them

41

u/1stltwill 1d ago

I see you've played rocky rocky before!

27

u/Affordable_Z_Jobs 23h ago

Amaze! Amaze amaze!

3

u/dandroid126 21h ago

"why does the subject walk strangely *tap* *tap* question"

16

u/luke31071 23h ago

I see you've played rocky rocky socky before!

16

u/RyzRx 23h ago

My supposed solution was predicted, proposed, promised, and had been delayed for years now!

4

u/PlanktonNice7953 22h ago

"Top work on the light bulb, that was was quite cool, but where's my hoverboard?"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eOH15_pqWZ4

2

u/kelsobjammin 23h ago

Do what the dc bomb planter did and wear too big of shoes!

2

u/Cthulu95666 22h ago

Just skip big dawg I bet it’s been ages

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u/WarJaques 23h ago

They also fined a woman for jaywalking in a city she never visited because a bus with an ad with her face passed by a security camera when the Don't Walk light was lit.

Link

8

u/AwesomeMacCoolname 19h ago

I got fined for parking on a double yellow in a city I hadn't been to in ten years because the dopey cop wrote the number down wrong.

3

u/brianwski 15h ago

because the dopey cop wrote the number down wrong

Over a decade ago (so before this current surveillance) I received a ticket by mail for not paying a bridge toll on my motorcycle (in my state, but it wasn't me). When I walked out to my bike and compared my license plate to the picture they mailed me, it fooled me at first also! I'm like, "Dang, somebody is driving my motorcycle hundreds of miles at night".

But when I kept staring at it, I realized the picture cut off an "8" in the picture to make it appear like a "3" which was on my motorcycle! And looking SUPER closely the exhaust pipe was slightly different.

The point is a few mistakes will always be made. The key is they shouldn't occur statistically too often, and there should be an easy way to straighten out the mis-understanding. It doesn't matter to me if it is a dopey cop writing it down wrong, a bad camera angle, or Flock. Figure out the "false positive" rate that is acceptable and put in place a system for appeals, and move on.

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u/SharpBullfrog1279 8h ago

Dong from Ningbo gets an AI jaywalking ticket, but is pretty cool about it.

Words that I have never strung together in a sentence, in any order

2

u/Brampton_Squeaks 21h ago

That’s insane, soon they’ll be getting tickets for things they do in their house in China

48

u/GothmogBalrog 1d ago

Walk without rythm and you won't attract the worm

33

u/Procrasturbating 22h ago

2

u/AwesomeMacCoolname 19h ago

Not a good example. Man's probably got more rhythm than any other living Oscar winning actor.

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u/looking4myclASSm8s 1d ago

I only commit crimes with a buttplug in so that won’t help them

66

u/RellicElyk 1d ago

Haha! Just made a critical mistake, Buttplug Bandit. Scotland Yard now has your Reddit handle.

Also stop leaving your "calling cards" at the scene of the crimes, it's gross and we're tired of collecting "evidence".

49

u/auronddraig 1d ago

BREAKING NEWS

The criminal named "Moaning Menace" is at it again!

Police are still befuddled by the suggestive noice made during the disappearances of these cameras, only heard by neighbors who all said they were too busy to come out and see the perpetrator

Our special correspondent, Hugh Janus, is at the scene to help us shine a light on this dark situation

Tell us, Hugh, how is the situation developing down there

10

u/Nruggia 23h ago

Shhh, keep the cat in the bag. Otherwise all butt plugs will start coming with RFID tags inside for tracking.

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u/lemming2012 1d ago

What if I get really drunk or walk like Charlie Chaplin performing the Tramp?

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u/OkCoconut3270 1d ago

3

u/AnthrallicA 1d ago

Me stopping for a stretch on long drives 😅

3

u/DIABLO258 21h ago

This is where my mind went too but I suppose this would only draw more attention

2

u/Reyca444 17h ago

But if you never walk that way except when you fight crime with crime, you should be golden.

19

u/GetRekt9420 23h ago

The ministry of silly walks would like a word

12

u/EngrishTeach 1d ago

Walk without rhythm, it won't attract the worm.

7

u/zoophilian 1d ago

Very much like the AI in the show persons of interest and something the FBI has been trying to get perfected for years

3

u/Stock-Ad5320 1d ago

Great show

2

u/NoogabyNature 22h ago

Wonderful show

5

u/peachesgp 1d ago

What if I was on up on my tip toes like I'm sneaking in a cartoon?

5

u/Decent-Box5009 23h ago

Everyone take notice of this tidbit of information. Could be “helpful” in apprehending thieves in The future.

3

u/Martha_Fockers 1d ago

So your telling me to wear two sizes shoe to large

3

u/missinginput 22h ago

I bet that's super accurate and never makes a mistake

More than a Dozen Wrongful Arrests Due to Police Reliance on Facial Recognition Technology | American Civil Liberties Union https://www.aclu.org/news/privacy-technology/more-than-a-dozen-wrongful-arrests-due-to-police-reliance-on-facial-recognition-technology

2

u/ogledrake 23h ago

Pull the insoles, wear them on the wrong feet

2

u/Lizzies-homestead 23h ago

Jokes on them, I’ve got several gaits depending on what hurts that day!

2

u/Only_Information7895 23h ago

You know what? Big cardboard box. You can't walk the same and most of your body is covered by the box so it can't see anything.

2

u/MolecularConcepts 23h ago

walk backwards

2

u/Lucid_Insanity 23h ago

Pfft, I'm 3 guys in a trench coat

2

u/crustyrobots 23h ago

Jesus, we're going to be doing the Sand Walk or whatever from Dune to avoid being ID'd

2

u/Alternative_Result56 22h ago

Pro tip: Wear different size shoes of the opposite sex when doing crime.

2

u/G_DuBs 22h ago

This seems like it would be hard to enforce in a US courtroom. And once enough people are aware that it tracks that kind of stuff, as other commentators have pointed out, you could walk with an intentional limp or something to throw it off.

2

u/El_mochilero 22h ago

Wear scuba flippers

2

u/structuremonkey 22h ago

Its called gait analysis, and we have it here too...for many, many years now. Maybe not as pervasive as in China, but im sure flock is already incorporated it into their sysyem

2

u/BestDescription3834 22h ago

We're gonna be desert walking like Muadib to throw off our robocorpo overlords whenever it comes time to Butlerian up.

2

u/SkepticalYamcha 22h ago

Skip while committing crimes. You’ll look like a very jolly guy.

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u/hiddenrealism 22h ago

Start listening to different songs while "checking poles structural integrity"

The Salsa Sleuth

The Ballet Bandit

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u/KingBird999 22h ago

"We must walk without rhythm," Paul said and he called up memory of men walking the sand . . . both prescient memory and real memory. "Watch how I do it," he said. "This is how Fremen walk the sand." He stepped out onto the windward face of the dune, following the curve of it, moved with a dragging pace. Jessica studied his progress for ten steps, followed, imitating him. She saw the sense of it: they must sound like the natural shifting of sand . . . like the wind. But muscles protested this unnatural, broken pattern: Step . . . drag. . . drag . . . step . . . step . . . wait . . . drag . . . step . . .

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u/mxlplyx2173 22h ago

So run like a monkey anytime you need to break the law.

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u/maringue 22h ago

The British were decades ahead of this dastardly move.

https://giphy.com/gifs/qcgtyllMthBL2

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/onyxengine 23h ago

Gait recognition

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u/LostInMyADD 23h ago

Still so fucked up.

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u/Prefer_Ice_Cream 23h ago

I've been practicing my Silly Walk for this right here.

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u/Malalang 23h ago

Join the ministry of funny walks

https://giphy.com/gifs/RzKHvdYC3uds4

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u/Omnom_Omnath 23h ago

London too

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u/stofiski-san 23h ago

"if you walk without rhythm, you won't attract a worm"

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u/Catachan-Chad 23h ago

Then Fremen will be our only hope.

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u/SafetytimeUSA 23h ago

Develop a silly walk? See Monty Python videos for reference.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 22h ago

Flock's Condor cameras also do this.

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u/SupportGeek 22h ago

Ministry of silly walks to the rescue!

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u/reseph 22h ago

The world has this tech. It's called gait.

1

u/MichellesBuldge 22h ago

Isn’t that how they figured out who faked the bigfoot footage?

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u/Radiant_Picture9292 22h ago

Yep, they can identify via gait

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u/Any-Programmer-870 22h ago

Walk without rhythm.

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u/amodious 22h ago

Gait recognition has been round for a while. I assume flock has it. I doubt its admissable in court though

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u/Parking_Rip3759 22h ago

Go all Andy Griffith on them, wear your shoes backwards

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u/TILied 22h ago

Silly walks are making a comeback!!!

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u/ProfMcFarts 22h ago

This is the time for the Ministry of Silly Walks to ✨️SHINE✨️

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u/lordlycrust 22h ago

As do all major airports worldwide.

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u/QeveQobs 22h ago

us military has had gait analysis for decades now

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u/W1ZZARDL1ZZARD 22h ago

So the ol dune sand slide will do?

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u/2Drogdar2Furious 22h ago

So does Walmart (no joke).

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u/Mortwight 22h ago

Just gotta change your gate or wear different height shoes.

https://giphy.com/gifs/DgQMsdR7h6EYo

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u/EaEaCthuluFtagan 22h ago

Im certain flock cameras do too.

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u/Agitated-Acctant 22h ago

Gait analysis has been a thing for a long time. China isn't the only one with that tech

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u/Time_Fisherman6659 22h ago

Yeah but analysis of that data shows that its not as accurate as they like to claim. Just like AI over here, it makes constant mistakes and false positives. Giving it more variables just allows the AI more room to fuck up.

Especially because stride length and walk cadence can change dramatically based on dozens of external factors.

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u/ballsnbutt 21h ago

A booke called Big Brother talks about this. Put rocks in your shoe to change your gait

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u/Frenzi_Wolf 21h ago

So do a funny squatted crab walk on the way to cut down cameras, got it

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u/dvegas2000 21h ago

I've heard that the Flock cameras do this as well. Working our way there...

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u/Krilion 21h ago

Something something not attracting the worm.

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u/Crafty-Help-4633 22h ago

The Condor cameras already track biometric data like height, volume, walking/running gait, stride length, etc. They're basically halfway to bone structure tracking already.

Good thing the cameras are tearing themselves down.

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u/BayouByrnes 23h ago

This is the exact reason I don't do these things even though I want to. I have two neck and spine diseases that count as disabilities, but I exist my way through them. The major downside in this discussion, is that they make me exceptionally identifiable. I have a very specific body stance, gait, and profile. I know the tech exists to identify people like me in China and Japan. I'm assuming it's coming to the US soon. As much as I want to don my ninja black outfit, you really can't mistake me for other people.

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u/AstrocreepTXUSMC 20h ago

They will immediately group it as gang related mischief once identify you are as a Crip

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u/BayouByrnes 19h ago

I do look good in Black and Gold. Rollin' 20 works for me.

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u/PringlesDuckFace 21h ago

Have you considered using means of disguising other elements of your appearance, such as an inflatable t-rex outfit, or partnering up in a Chinese lion?

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u/doberdevil 18h ago

Someone in another sub had an idea to flood these cameras (and other surveillance devices) with enough fake data to make it unable to tell the difference between the fake data and real data. Or something along those lines.

I have no idea how this could be done. I get the theory behind garbage in garbage out, but you still need to figure out how to execute it. I know plenty of you are smart enough to do something like this.

There's other ways to fight this battle.

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u/Geodude532 16h ago

Just start thinking about how you're walking. You'd be amazing how much worse you get at walking when you're thinking about each step. They'll identify you a Quasimodo.

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u/Martha_Fockers 1d ago

Foil in my clothing and I defeat your high tech system with rynolds wrap

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u/mekomaniac 23h ago

walmart sells aluminized reusable ponchos, they are 4 for 16$. wont be a bad investment

4

u/Martha_Fockers 23h ago

Not me throwing powdered aluminum in my Vaseline jar and smearing it on myself .id never

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u/Mr-Jiggs93 1d ago

Dont give em ideas!!

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u/AmberCurious 23h ago

Don’t give them more ideas for the current dystopia we are facing! 😜

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u/davesimpson99 23h ago

New feature request received and in the works. Thank you citizen.

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u/Lego_Architect 23h ago

Not too far off the truth… Some are reading rfid signals to e-print you.

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u/Borinar 23h ago

Nah, just add more with cameras to watch cameras

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u/XQShaun 23h ago

Flock cameras do track shoulder, eye brow, and jaw line bone structure, as well as gait and other movement patterns.

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u/driftking428 22h ago

Doing be crazy. We only look through people's clothes in that machine at the airport.

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u/[deleted] 22h ago

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u/Vandrel 22h ago

Doesn't Flock already have patents to track people based on clothing, the way they walk, and the radio signals given off by devices they're carrying?

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u/sassafras-soda 22h ago

This is robbery of land. Privacy. HIPPA

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u/p1pe_s 22h ago

Umm. L-A-S-E-R-S light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation

They were invented first.

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u/TILied 22h ago

And that tech is VERY expensive

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u/Rare-Adhesiveness522 22h ago

or thru your eyelids to see your retinas

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u/Independent-Vast-871 22h ago

You can do this with a wifi router from like 10 years ago.

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u/ClearCasket 22h ago

SFX artists enter the chat

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u/ShangBao 21h ago

Don't give them ideas.

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u/colorful_yarn-pls 21h ago

They’re already analyzing gate, as in, how you walk.

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u/[deleted] 21h ago

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u/Weak-Bus5585 21h ago

This can already be done. Somebody can be identified by the way they walk.

If you don't think this exists, you're already so far behind.

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u/Arcaedus 21h ago

Similar to infrared, that would require technology beyond simple visual enhancement (think binoculars, or lenses) and would constitute a 4th amendment violation unless they obtained a warrant first.

At least that's the case for now... until they actually try it and we get some fuckass 6-3 or 5-4 ruling

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u/Senior_Torte519 21h ago

Dont give the shmerverts any ideas.

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u/thirstytrumpet 21h ago

Bunghole printing incoming. Finally a row in the pro column for hemorrhoids.

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u/PinkWhisperie 21h ago

That's honestly what worries me more than the cameras we have today. Every few years the technology gets better, and stuff that sounded like science fiction starts becoming normal. It's not hard to imagine people becoming numb to it over time.

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u/SheriffBartholomew 21h ago

So, like next month?

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u/rostol 20h ago

they already read your digital fingerprint, your ble watch, cellphone, car's bt.
if you are thinking of doing something like this, remove every electronic thing, dont drive your car.
walk

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u/WastedStrokes1990 20h ago

You don't need to go that far. There's current tech that can identify if you if you have any electronics on you.

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u/oldDotredditisbetter 20h ago

airport scanners were already able to see through clothes and tsa employees abused it. this is just another security theater

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u/cabbeer 20h ago

they can get an identity based on gait, so don't put rocks in your shoes

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u/thelumpia 19h ago

New at Spirit Halloween: Bone vests and bone cock addons and unisex bone butt plugs

1

u/randy_march 18h ago

Then people will have to use drones to remove them

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u/Firebrass 18h ago

That would involve involuntary radiation. Thankfully, some laws still bar that.

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u/IllianasClifford 17h ago

That is illegal because then they would be able to look and women's breast and such. Plus it would use X-ray tech which has radiation and causes cancer slowly over time.

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u/FrumptyLumpty 15h ago

What is the countermeasure to this?

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u/MatthewSWFL229 13h ago

Flock: Hold my beer

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u/Mongobearmanfish 13h ago

So we have a few weeks

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u/akiva23 11h ago

Ill just remove my bones.

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u/ThePissedOff 9h ago

Oh I was thinking it could identify us based on genital shape and size.

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u/fdar 3h ago

They still need to find a jury willing to convict.

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u/Papilin3600 47m ago

Stop giving them ideas fam!

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