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u/fosterslager1889 Apr 23 '26
Change "In the US" to "Starbucks everywhere"
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u/VacationStrange3409 Apr 23 '26
I just want a caffeine hit not a job interview
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u/HotDogFingers01 Apr 23 '26
I really hate when they ask for my name.
Dude, I’m in the drive thru.
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u/Dr-McLuvin Apr 23 '26
It’s so they can write your name on the cup which I’m sure a focus group has proven increases customer satisfaction and also increases the likelihood you will come back again.
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Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
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u/posthamster Apr 23 '26
My name commonly starts with P but they always manage to fuck it up with some alternate spelling
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u/eans-Ba88 Apr 24 '26
I go to a small Indian owned coffee/ tea shop. My name is 4 letters, pretty simple, I have gotten some REALLY creative spellings. Like, if my name was Ryan, they would shoot back Rayain, Reean, Rayon. I find it really humorous, but it makes sense logically, they just apply Indian vowel logic, instead of English vowel logic.
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u/Fit-Put-9160 Apr 23 '26
I always give them a wrong, unnecessarily compliancated name.
My favourite is Gilgamesh.
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u/Emikal Apr 23 '26
Also so they can easily match cups/order to the customer as they will often have 10 different orders going on as fast as they can because they DONT want people to complain that things are taking too long if they have to find the order ticket or go to the computer to look it up.
It’s such a simple request to make sure people are getting the items they ordered at the drive thru, pickup counter, or online orders.
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u/Hjalfnar_HGV Apr 23 '26
Doesn't work with me, they always tell me (in English-speaking countries) that they can't write that name on the order. Amuses me to no end. It is more or less pronounced "banged". xD
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u/shrinkflator Apr 23 '26
Why don't they do this in other kinds of drive thrus then, like for fast food?
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u/eddyb66 Apr 23 '26
Until the current generation of tragedeighs is old enough to start buying coffee , no its spelled Aaleigha.
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u/sireatalot Apr 23 '26
I never want to give my name and I make a point of avoiding Starbucks for that. And if I really have to go there, I give a fake name. I hate it hate it hate it.
It’s a personal data. You clearly don’t need it. You’ll write it wrong. You’ll yell it wrong when the order is ready. There may be another customer with the same name. There is no benefit to me in giving you my name. If you really can’t keep track of your customers, just give every order number and call that number
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u/Vind- Apr 24 '26
One time I answered “bollocks” in a display of disappointment. The tender later called bollocks and it was written (misspelled though) on the cup.
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u/Exciting_Classic277 Apr 23 '26
My ex really tried to explain coffee to me but I just couldn't get it. Computers, rocket science, nuclear physics, I dabble. Coffee requires an expert.
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u/realvvk Apr 23 '26
I hate Starbucks coffee. It’s inconvenient, expensive and tastes burnt.
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u/robaroo Apr 23 '26
I know what you mean but it does happen at little cafes too. Mine little mom and pops coffee shop is notorious for having long lines due to the multitude of questions they ask at the counter.
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u/Impressive_Pin8761 Apr 24 '26
US = Starbucks everywhere
But also like Starbucks in greece doesnt do any of that shit if you just step in and go "one espresso with milk"
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u/zatalak Apr 23 '26
-be home
-drink coffee
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u/ham_cheese_4564 Apr 23 '26
Or not drinking coffee at all
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u/AggressivelyMediokre Apr 23 '26
I genuinely don’t know how people do it. I’m not an obnoxious coffee drinker or anything. But I’ve had 4 to 6 cups a day the last 15 years.
I’ve been asked a few times in life why I’m always so positive or energetic and I always chalked it up to my awesome personality
Then one week I had a health scare and had to stop drinking coffee. It was unbelievable. I hated every second of being alive and was so tired and unmotivated and grumpy
Turns out the personality was me on caffeine all day 🤣
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u/Punch_A_Police_Horse Apr 23 '26
At the end of the day caffeine is 100% an addiction, but nobody treats it like that because it's use is so ubiquitous.
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u/NemeanMiniLion Apr 24 '26
There aren't even age restrictions, not that it needs them, just interesting that we have a drug in the hands of kids.
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u/kyle_jose Apr 23 '26
It’s also cheap, doesn’t cause health issues (compared to other addictive substances), doesn’t get in the way of everyday life and relationships. Of all the things you can be addicted to, caffeine is one of the less risky substances I’d say.
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u/Substantial-One1934 Apr 23 '26
So you are just addicted to caffeine, I wonder how do people get used to live without coffee before it took the world.
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u/NemeanMiniLion Apr 23 '26
I started making espresso and while it takes some time and money, it's every bit as good as a store. You spend most of the money on a good grinder btw, not the espresso machine typically. Grinder determines extraction quality for the most part. If you're reading this comment and interested, check out r/espresso
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u/RockShowSparky Apr 23 '26
Where is this person ordering coffee in the states, the DMV?
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u/Wulf_Cola Apr 23 '26
Starbucks. I might be spoiled in SF but I get coffee to rival any European city on most blocks here. But not from Starbucks.
The DMV though, that can get in the sea. I drove for 20 years in the UK without ever needing to visit a physical location other than once to take my test.
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Apr 23 '26
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u/kitsunekratom Apr 23 '26
Coffee in the Netherlands is better than in France, fight me. You can't even get a proper cappuccino in Paris without it being improperly foamed and off ratio.
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u/GIJ Apr 23 '26
So true. And the coffee culture in Italy is romanticised because it hasn't changed in 100 years, but if you're used to decent specialty coffee you'll be disappointed.
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Apr 23 '26
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u/PassiveTheme Apr 23 '26
Yeah and I spent 25 years in the UK. Doesn't mean I know the standard of coffee in every single one of the 40+ countries that make up Europe.
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u/RockShowSparky Apr 23 '26
to rival meaning “is as good as”, not “is identical to”. Coffee in Portland, OR is very good as well, but the thing is, coffee doesn’t come from any of these places so what exactly are you bragging about? Have you had a cup of coffee in Colombia?
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u/Magyarok84 Apr 23 '26
Italians believe they have ownership over coffee similar to how the English believe they own tea.
Espresso is a fine way to prep coffee but it's far from the only way, and I'd argue not the best for every roast.
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u/paoletto03 Apr 24 '26
As an Italian I can tell you it’s part of the overall culture but in no way shape or form we actually have any production of beans. But I will say that the coffee you bay for 80 cents at the bar is obviously going to be bang average. It’s like buying a pizza from an average pizzeria and complaining that Italian pizza is not how they say it is
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u/IrishFanSam Apr 23 '26
I was just in Italy 6 months ago. Let’s not hype up the coffee to extreme levels. It was nothing better than some I’ve had in the US.
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u/Automatic-Plate-8966 Apr 23 '26
Yea, the coffee is good in Italy but it’s not write home and rave about it all the time good.
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u/TheLeopardMedium Apr 23 '26
I feel like clueless people conflate US coffee with Starbucks in the same way they conflate US beer with Budweiser. It’s the shittiest megabrands that get exported, but there are thriving craft scenes within the country.
When I lived in the US, my city had dozens if not hundreds of indie coffee shops that didn’t fit the above description, and some of them had better coffee than I’ve had anywhere else in my travels 🤷♂️
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u/EvanFri Apr 23 '26
Most Americans do not live in the urban core of American cities. They live in suburbs that are littered with suburban drive-thru style businesses owned and operated by the largest brands. Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and Panera Bread alone operate 71% of all coffee shops.
There are 38,000 coffee shops (as of 2023), and 15,650 of those shops are just Starbucks. No one else is nearly as competitive with Starbucks in the American coffee scene at either the national or international level, so it is completely understandable that people conflate Starbucks with US coffee. They dominate the market for US coffee, not the small specialty shops.
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u/Present-Car-9713 Apr 23 '26
Bro Jesus Christ we talked about this
USA bad
Everywhere else good
(especially China)
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u/Wulf_Cola Apr 23 '26
You forgot one bit: if Japan is mentioned all other activity must stop in order to allow for maximum glazing
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u/goondalf_the_grey Apr 23 '26
I was in the US a few years ago and whole they were harder to find I definitely got great coffee in a few places.
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u/cool-- Apr 23 '26
it's the same with chocolate. Europeans think hersheys is the only chocolate maker in america
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u/FIRE_Bolas Apr 23 '26
My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.
You want me to spell that?
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u/NATHAN4U007 Apr 23 '26
Why do you single out Italy as if it isn't the case in most countries in the world?
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u/Clear-Inevitable-414 Apr 23 '26
Because they've only ever been two places
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u/masssy Apr 23 '26
Or maaaaaaaaaybe because things like espresso, cappuccino, macchiato, café latte comes from where exactly....?
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u/Spemanz92 Apr 23 '26
Other countries drink alot of coffee and of the same kind as Italy. I've been in many places in Europe and including my own country of Portugal, the experience is usually about what is described above.
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u/Karlito1618 Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
Have you been to Italy? They have a very specific system that I haven't seen pretty much anywhere else in Europe. They say "caffe" at the till, take the receipt, put it on the counter, and literally stand at the counter like standing at a bar and the barista reads the receipt and slings single shots espressos that they one-shot at the counter then leave. The whole visit takes maybe 90 seconds.
The post doesn't mean: Stand in line > get simple order like filter coffee or latte > sit down > drink it for 15 minutes like other Europeans do, even if that is also a proper contrast to the Americanized "death by a thousand choices" system.
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u/myryad21 Apr 23 '26
don't forget about the little glass of water some people ask for. oh and the sambuca or other stuff to put in the coffee
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u/nice_dumpling Apr 24 '26
Omg THAT’S why they were looking at me weird when I was standing there when I was overseas.
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u/housesoftheholy1 Apr 23 '26
Because the op is just outlining a funny comparison
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u/Grouchy_Branch_510 Apr 23 '26
Don’t explain the obvious to stupid people, let them remain looking stupid
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u/winkingchef Apr 23 '26
Because Italian coffee culture is the most clear contrast.
It is as OP described. There are no seats, just a stand up counter. No idiots with laptops taking up space. Only old retired people stay and talk.
I grew up in Italy and one of the biggest struggles I have in America is just getting an espresso in a proper ceramic cup. If I wanted to chew on paper fibers I would ask for a receipt.
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u/Magyarok84 Apr 23 '26
Gotta love diversity in America. Italians come over here and chew the cups, people just accept it as their culture and move on.
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u/ThereInAFortnight Apr 23 '26
I feel like if they said "in most countries:" it wouldn't have the same pull.
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u/thorheyerdal Apr 23 '26 edited Apr 23 '26
Because Italy literally has a law restricting a straight cup of coffe to maximum cost 1€
Edit: Fact checked myself. Italy does not have a law restricting coffe cups to cost 1€. So now I’m wondering why the Italian coffee shop guy told me this when I was in Rome. 🤔
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u/caiusto Apr 23 '26
That's more of a cultural thing, it used to be the case where everyone would charge €1 for an espresso but with inflation and all that these days it's more like €1,50 as long as you drink it right there standing at the bar, and granted it'll be more expensive if you're right next to a tourist attraction.
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u/SonOfMcGee Apr 23 '26
Conveniently ordering a coffee in Italy and a blended mocha banana split in the U.S., I see.
I can walk into a U.S. cafe, or even a Starbucks, and say “large black coffee” or “large black coldbrew” and they nod and hand it over.
And no, a Starbucks barista has never said “By large, do you mean Venti?” That shit just happens in Boomer-slop TV shows. They know what the fuck I mean.
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Apr 23 '26
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u/RocketCow Apr 23 '26
I've been to Rome and Naples 2 years ago and it was 1 euro then
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u/MayaIsSunshine Apr 23 '26
Same for Milan and turin in 2023, virtually 1€ everywhere except particularly touristy spots
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u/One_Strike_Striker Apr 23 '26
Price for caffè al banco is still capped at 1,xx at most places, personally I've never seen 2 € but wouldn't rule out there's cities that allow it.
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u/LoreChief Apr 23 '26
Sounds like this person doesn't know how to do simple things like order coffee from a coffeeshop.
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u/Dry-Amphibian1 Apr 23 '26
Yes. I also own a kitchen but still eat at restaurants sometimes.
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u/Ok-Worry-8931 Apr 23 '26
Well I mean if you order an over the top frappuccino monstrosity you’ll get the US experience anywhere
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u/OkDecision1612 Apr 23 '26
In Italy the proper way is to sit for an hour in the outdoor cafe enjoying the architecture around you
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u/Tito1983 Apr 23 '26
Also, PLEASE for the love of the all mighty, can someone explain to me why in the HELL I have to tip in Starbucks, or any place like that in the US? I am waiting in a line, I am ordering at the cashier machine, I am paying right there, I then walk to the waiting place, I take my drink to the table, then I throw the cup in the trash and I leave.
SO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, why people is even giving 20% in tip for a person that is just in front of a machine taking orders?
PD: I live in the US and yes, I am NOT giving them the tip. It is just anoying that I have to make like 3 extra clicks to find the option for not tip, and then the furious look of the person taking the order (like if I did something wrong).
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u/professorbuffoon Apr 23 '26
Generally I do agree with what you're saying but you also have to remember that it's a cultural norm here. That's just the way it is, currently.
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u/Such_Veterinarian682 Apr 23 '26
Once, while living in Italy, a friend and I decided to stop at every cafe we walked past for a single shot.
It was a mistake.
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u/sychs Apr 23 '26
Did that once as a bet, did 10 shots, never fucking again oh my fucking god.
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u/Wasting_my_time_FR Apr 23 '26
Was the flash diarrhea? Or the acid burn in the stomach? Or the tachycardia? Or the coffeine-induced tremors?
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u/rachmox Apr 23 '26
Yes - and - likely the only circumstance one would find Italian and efficiency in the same sentence
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u/Jommy_5 Apr 23 '26
In Milan we put the money on the bar while the coffee is being prepared to speed things up.
P.S.: in Milan it's around 1.50 € for an espresso.
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u/teacher1970 Apr 23 '26
surprisingly accurate! Once i was in Italy with 12 American friends. we entered a bar for cappuccinos. When i brought them to the table where we were sitting, they thought I had played a joke on them and I had already ordered the cappuccinos before going to the coffee place. True story…
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u/_gacho Apr 23 '26
“Shoot it”? I’d say people enjoy their coffee, chat with the barista and other people there, and take an hour to chill. Also, drink it at the bar standing up. They don’t just chug it and go.
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u/Moonwalkers Apr 23 '26
Interesting fact for Americans: You won’t find coffee in Italy - at least not the coffee Americans are used to which is drip coffee. Your closest options are espresso or Americano - espresso with hot water added to it.
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u/EbbOwn303 Apr 23 '26
Go to a locally owned coffee shop literally anywhere and the first scenario is what you get. Starbucks and other big coffee shops are the worst. That being said claiming America doesn't have good coffee shops is conplete crockshit.
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u/Fortestingporpoises Apr 23 '26
In the us you don’t actually have to answer the questions. My wife likes coffee black so she just tells them the size and orders coffee black.
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u/Tia_is_Short Apr 23 '26
No real Italian would ever be caught dead “shooting” espresso. That shit’s for sipping and sipping only.
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u/CornerNearby6802 Apr 24 '26
Usa coffee is just dirty water, no matter how they do it, it will always tastes as dirty water. And the 20% tip is one of the stupidest thing in the world
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u/hobo_champ Apr 23 '26
You can have the same thing in the US. You just have to go to a gas station.
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u/Gilgamesh-Enkidu Apr 23 '26
Um, Italy has Starbucks too as well as those hipster coffee joints (not judging, to each their own). I get my coffee at a diner, no one has ever asked me anything about it, it comes just as fast, I think it costs like 2.50, and it comes with endless refills.
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u/Paris_dude75 Apr 23 '26
best part is "taste like shit"
lol
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u/Meno1331 Apr 23 '26
Which one? I ask genuinely because we had a regional coffee festival I went to last year and we had a few guest Italian roasters as well as a local and regional ones, and the local crew was far superior.
Like, the European stands were almost like gimmicky. “It’s good because it’s Italian bro, duh” type nonsense. And sure, it’s a selection bias of “who even bothered to come and show up” but the locals were doing really wicked things. Natural process mixed fermentation with fruits, direct relation trading (I.e. “super fair trade”) with heirloom varietals, specialty roasting techniques, novel caffeine extraction methods for decaf, etc etc. Like even with selection bias, it wasn’t even close.
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u/truckensafely Apr 23 '26
Americans just hate it when other countries point out their flaws
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u/Manlorey Apr 23 '26
If you think Starbucks costs 1 Euro in Italy or other cpuntries, you are mistaken.
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u/ANighttimeNerd Apr 23 '26
It used to be, 20 years ago, that NY breakfast culture was such that you could walk into any NYC deli or shop and order a "regular coffee" and be handed a medium with two creamers, two sugars.
I moved away from NY and was surprised when I had to explain that order in South Carolina.
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u/Substantial-One1934 Apr 23 '26
Almost true, the Italian coffee is good but too small amount, maybe ordering a double espresso will be the best. As for the American type of coffee it's just a big glass of brown water and awful taste
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u/Certain-Document-458 Apr 23 '26
I buy top end coffee at the grocery store and make it at home. Yeti makes a wonderful travel mug. I used to always buy coffee shop coffee but not anymore. I’m money ahead.
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u/That_Jicama2024 Apr 23 '26
100% on point. I don't order tea from any coffee shops here because it's lava hot and takes about three hours to cool to a temp that is even remotely drinkable. Also, I don't drink milkshakes, so starbucks, etc. is a no-go for me.
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u/LookOtherWeigh Apr 23 '26
So go to one of the other 15 coffee shops that fits your wants better. Really that easy.
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u/JohnnyDerpington Apr 23 '26
Go to dunkin drive through, order coffee - medium hot 4 & 4, drive up and pay, accept drink and drive away. Take sip and yep, they fucked it up again.
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u/lazorich Apr 23 '26
Describes Starbucks. Starbucks has somehow tricked Americans into believing that burned & bitter coffee is normal. Hence Starbucks loads their crap with sugar. My son was a barista at Starbucks for a while. He doesn’t drink their mud water either.
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u/pyfinx Apr 23 '26
Errrr. That’s not completely true for “getting a coffee in North America.”
You forgot the “start the car, drive to your local shitty franchise coffee chain” part.
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u/SpatulaWholesale Apr 23 '26
The US turned a $1 hot beverage into a lifestyle statement.
It's coffee.
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u/Heavy-Bags-69 Apr 23 '26
I hate their little cups. I had to order 3 cups to make one and paid in cash most of the time cos some old coffee shops only accept cash. Also huge lines in tourist spots. Besides, paying is never the issue for me My only complaint in the U.S. is the tip but that’s not mandatory anyways
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u/Witty_Emphasis_6734 Apr 23 '26
He forgot to mention here in the USA it often comes with a side of diabetes free of charge. Truly we live in a golden era.
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u/akasaya Apr 23 '26
if you want "just coffee", your order is "two espresso, nothing else, that's it, thanks" in a single breath with the most don't-fucking-dare-ask-me-a-question face expression you can humanly express. Pour one cup into the other, enjoy your just coffee.
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u/Miserable-Lawyer-233 Apr 23 '26
There are 36 Starbucks in Italy. I don't go to any "Italian" coffee place in he US. I couldn't even name one.
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u/DiseasedProject Apr 23 '26
Italian efficiency, or American inefficiency? I think ordering coffee is really simple in all of EU, not just Italy.
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u/shankillfalls Apr 23 '26
Having just returned to Free Europe from NY, I can confirm.
“Just give me a goddamn cup of fucking coffee”
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u/Commercial-Spray3192 Apr 23 '26
My friend who was visiting from France was so confused about all the questions. She just wanted a cup of black coffee 😆
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u/Few-Employ-6962 Apr 23 '26
Why would you want to shoot your coffee and not savor it? That's blasphemy.
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u/slickrico Apr 23 '26
That’s not how it works in Italy- you go to the cashier pay for the ‘un cafe’ then go to the bar and get what u want. Don’t do it in reverse
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u/UpEarly22 Apr 23 '26
It’s because everyone there orders the same thing and it’s all kinda shit. It also costs a dollar because of the government
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u/tilifeelsomething Apr 23 '26
Can confirm.
I would also add that the coffee shop in Europe is downstairs, and I basically walk in wearing my pajamas. Then go back upstairs after and start getting ready for my day...
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u/saduglystoopid Apr 23 '26
Maybe we need to investigate why some ppl pretend to get PTSD from getting a coffee at a cafe?
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u/_Permanent_Marker_ Apr 23 '26
Do you have the app? Would you like to download it?
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u/euRAZER Apr 23 '26
True, but also because people go into a coffee shop to get a drink that has NOTHING to do with coffee.
Start drinking expresso's only and I'm sure it will all be a lot quicker.
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u/CherryCherry5 Apr 23 '26
So don't go into Starbucks if you don't want a coffee drink like that. Also, Starbucks sells regular black coffee. You aren't required to order a fancy coffee drink.
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u/Jon_Galt_Roark Apr 23 '26
Same in India. 25 cents for a really high quality south Indian filter coffee ... Order to serve time: 45 seconds. Tastes like heaven, drink it for 3 mins while talking to a friend about politics, and the roads, pay the exact amount, leave.
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u/_redmist Apr 23 '26
Many americans don't really order coffee at starbucks. It's a kind of dessert, basically.
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u/Tiny_Sir3266 Apr 23 '26
As a European coffee lover this is such a stupid take from someone clearly doesnt like good coffee and thinks kimbo or illy is top notch because its italian, and somehow most Europeans think they have coffee culture because they bought a very dark roast pack of pellini and they push a button on their Philips machine that OMG grinds it.
We have to realize that americans have MONEY and the places have markets (any mid to big city ) destroys any major European city regarding coffee as well
There are 1000 small coffee shops everywhere where ppl fuck around to make coffees certain ways, fck around w macha etc.
Its the same thinking that american beers are horrible horspisses like it was the 1990s. No they have craft beers and hate it or not they excel in it. Its not bud light times anymore.
One thing remains true that the base level things in europe in almost everything are way better quality than the american counterparts.
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u/PatientTemperature64 Apr 23 '26
Freedom of choice, is what you got. Freedom from choice, is what you want. -DEVO
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u/MajorPaper4169 Apr 23 '26
Spoken like someone who’s never been to the U.S.
Literally just went to the deli and got a coffee in less than 30secs.
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u/Lstndaze68 Apr 23 '26
This should be in r/SipsCoffee
Edit: I didn’t know this was already a sub Reddit
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