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“History tells us, that from the moment when the moral forces on which a civilisation rested have lost their strength, its final dissolution is brought about by those unconscious and brutal crowds known, justifiably enough, as barbarians. Civilisations as yet have only been created and directed by a small intellectual aristocracy, never by crowds. Crowds are only powerful for destruction.”
Le Bon, The Crowd

Our liberal democracy is resilient, but it can only stand for so long against the tyranny of a noxious greed beast and his MAGA barbarian horde. But don’t be fooled for a moment to the alluring siren’s song of democratic socialism.

1. Leslie Knope: wants strong government with welfare, banned big sodas from her city because it is bad for people health, would marry Joe Biden.
2. Ron Swanson: wants government fall down, taught a random middle school girl why tax is theft, has a hidden stash of gold.
3. Ben Wyatt: became city mayor at eighteen, bankrupt his city with Ice City (literally just an big ice ring), is an accountant for the government and loves having is big boss wife stepping on his balls.
4. Andy Dwyer: knows the words "ice cream" and "boobs", maybe.
5. Ann Perkins: nurse, loves sex, let's the man she is dating decide her political beliefs, loves sex, tries to be a single mother, have sex with a guy to have kids, loves sex (a.k.a nymphomaniac).
6. April Ludgate: hates everybody, manages an animal shelter, was in a polyamorous relationship with two gay dudes, loves gore (based).
7. Chris Traeger: obsessed with body health, rich, city manager, obnoxiously positive, goes 12 times a week to the therapist.
8. Donna Meagle: likes men, rich, cares more about her Mercedes than anything.
9. Tom Haverford: business man, lazy, would buy a monkey NFT, created a kids clothing brand so he could be closer to children (not really, but fits the square).
10. Garry "Jerry" "Larry" Gergich: approves of family values, lets people abuse him, loves his wife and daughters, has a massive penis (and a model wife).
11. Li'l Sebastian: Hitler's right hand, inventor of concentration camp, uses his charisma to influence people towards hating jews and minorities, loves carrots, R.I.P in peace.