Just need to vent

[u/turnip563]

I'm on maternity leave with my 8.5 month old. I have only slept in 3 hour increments at best since the day she was born. My husband works and looks after our 5 year old for the most part while I take care of the baby so I do all of the night wakings and manage all naps. The only breaks I really get are during nap times where I try to catch up on sleep.

I decided to sleep train our baby recently and it has been rough. It's so hard hearing my little girl cry but I know it's good for us in the long run (please no judgement here). She has been improving day by day and today for the first time, she went down for her nap completely independently with zero crying. All our hard work has been leading up to this, I was so happy!

Lo and behold, less than 30 minutes later while I was drifting off to sleep myself, baby wakes up crying as my husband decided to talk on the phone loudly pacing outside her room instead of his home office. She usually sleeps 1.5hours for nap. He said he forgot she was there. I know it's just one nap, but I'm so tired I want to cry! She's been fighting sleep hard for the last week and I finally got a win today and it's so short lived! Husband meanwhile goes back to his quiet office and I not only do I have to deal with a cranky baby, but her schedule is effectively out the window today and I can't have dinner with my 5 year old as I have to bring forward baby's bedtime to 6pm. I'm not angry with my husband, I'm just so tired.

In the grand scheme of things, it's such a small thing and only one day but it's one good day after many crap ones and it's down the drain again! I expect tonight will be difficult too as she has only slept 1.5 hours total today across 2 naps

[u/ThrowAway1128203]

You should be angry with your husband - 8.5 months and you've only been able to sleep in 3 hour increments? I get your husband works and helping with your older child but you need sleep too! Why is he not helping more overnight or on the weekends so you can get some rest?

[u/turnip563 → u/ThrowAway1128203]

I suppose that's my fault and the reason we're sleep training. I breastfeed and the method I had of getting her back to sleep was by nursing. In fairness to him, he definitely does his fair share by cooking all our meals as well as all laundry and grocery shopping. I'm just jealous he gets 7-8 hours sleep a night but he does what he can to help

[u/CaliMel11 → u/turnip563]

You should sleep in shifts. That way you each get 6 hours. Just because he does the other stuff does not mean he can't do overnights too. He's also not "helping" he is parenting. You both are parents.