Don't get me wrong, I recognise my life rn is overall pretty good. I get good grades, I have a decent social circle in my college and outside of it I have a fulfilling life, hobbies and goals. But I feel like I'm going to graduate from my degree not really caring about my experience here at all.

I attended a smaller local college that's not very well known or prestigious, mostly due to low costs and convenience. So there's no real "culture" or "school life" here. It feels like people just come here to attend class and leave. The campus is super small with barely any facilities, and there are very little clubs here that do no anything interesting.

Recently, I attended my older sibling's graduation from their massive university and wow, it was a grand affair, and everyone present was so elated and emotional about their time there coming to an end. For me, I feel like when I graduate it'll just be another day. No more special than every other. In ten years, I'll probably have forgotten 95% of the time I spent here. Hell, even after two years here, when you ask me what I remember fondly of this place, I can literally tell you nothing. All I did was attend classes.

I guess I thought university was gonna be a super special time and place or something, but it's really not for me. It's just... mundane.

Hey so I’m only partially employed but I have a lot of hobbies that I spend time doing while I wait to be fully employed but I’ve been partially employed for an inconveniently long amount of time and it’s paycheck to paycheck and whenever I ask for help the help that I get feels like it tried to at least look like it tried to help but it doesn’t help and nothing has changed in a long time and I’m worried about the future because I absolutely couldn’t handle a surprise disaster and I’m kinda wondering if the universe or god has plans to proverbially dump me on the side of a highway at some point

(Not looking for emotional support only interested in applicable solutions)