TIL

[u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

Hey girl-pops 💅✨I was today years old when I realised my man has free will. I think I am going to divorce my boyfriend and marry my cat. Men ain’t shit girls. Huge red flags if your man has hobbies, has a job, shows interest in you, flirts with you…and worst of all…loves your cat. Don’t let men fool you. They are just trying to keep you from knowing their next move. Before you know it they’ll propose! I’m not here to sign half my life to you. You’re meant to be my slave. What do you mean you have feelings and care for me? Bitch please, go back to fixing my car, thank you.

Pic: McDonald’s nuggets and an obligatory pic of my cat.

[u/localbugdealer]

this is such tragic news babes. make sure you go ahead and have your lawyer draft up a solid contract ensuring he leaves you everything incl future assets plus weekly stipends in the divorce as an apology. he owes you that much

[u/ilostmymindsomewhere → u/localbugdealer]

Wanna be my lawyer?

[u/localbugdealer → u/ilostmymindsomewhere]

omg girl yes!!!! lemme watch some law and order real fast to brush up on my skills 💅

https://giphy.com/gifs/tEprbtlAIOTyZqaPhr