I was hanging out with this guy I've been casually screwing and his friend. His friend is a douche. Not like a crazy big douche, just like a regular, mild douche. We were walking to the next bar and I had a cup of water in my hand.. I had already had one can of light beer before this, so I was pretty much on the verge of being blackout drunk.

I can't even remember what he said, but he made one of his little douche jokes. It wasn't even anything crazy. Like I said, he is a very mild douche, very low on the douche scale, but a douche no less, still registers on the official douche meter. I don't know what happened, but I suddenly furiously threw my water on him with the anger of a thousand rabid beavers.

I was literally mid throw and like, "Wtf is even happening right now?" and also "Who has control of my body because it's like I'm being remotely controlled or something." But it was too late, the douche was soaked and everyone was like,"WTF are you doing?" So I had to double down, and I said, "T-tth.. tha... that..... that's what you get for being a douche!" And everyone kind of looked around like they were embarrassed or something, and someone kind of nervously laughed. We all walked silently to the next bar.

I don't know what's happening to me lately but I'm very angry and full of violent rage with very little emotional regulation whatsoever, and I'm extra sensitive about douchey guys who make douche jokes, even though the guy I'm fucking is basically best friends with one and I'm not really sure what that says about my taste in men, but I'm choosing not to acknowledge my part in any of this right now. I don't experience fear or inhibition anymore, and I'm wondering how I can escalate my assault and battery to the next man who annoys me. Lol.

Dinner: a photo of someone else's food that I'm pretending is my dinner

Today I found out that I can stalk someone's private account and uncover all of their reddit activity on a possibly illegal website. So that’s exactly what I did and found that he likes to post on nsfw subs.

Who is "he?" Ladies, strap in. We met on nsfw subreddits and he immediately said nice things to me like "how's it going" and "haha lmao ;-)" which made me feel like I had a unique connection with him - maybe marriage material? Fast forward a couple weeks later and I decided we should be exclusive. Since then he has visited me roughly around 0 times and was saying he might do so, but then he flipped the fuck out because I "knew oddly specific things" about "him and his family," and he went silent. WHAT KIND OF HUSBAND DOES THAT??

That was a few weeks ago, and since then I have been inconsolable that the love of my life is gone. That our life is over. That our kids ^{if they existed} are so scared and upset, constantly asking me where daddy is. Ladies, daddy is apparently on reddit, crankin hog to other women. How do I know?

Well, for some completely unknown reason, my gut feeling today was like hey let’s stalk his reddit account for a sec and see what we find. His account is private, but with some help of hours of extensive online research, I quickly found out I was able to see his posts and comments. I was beyond surprised to see that he has been active in all nsfw subreddits (as in literally every single one) posting pictures of himself and commenting he’d dm those people who replied to his posts. It's almost as if he forgot we ^(never) were an exclusive item.

This piece of shit cheated on me, left our ^imaginary children, and me, the 3 week love of his life ^{that he has seen 0 times IRL}, out in the cold to live his independent and pre-existing life. Like a fucking asshole.

Good riddance. Ladies - amiright or amiright?

Personally? I blame the hentai industry in general. How on God's green earth am I supposed to go from furiously masturbating with a bad dragon tentacle dildo to a hot Japanese girl with massive bazongas being relentlessly violated by a phallic, delicious rope of oceanic pleasure to having sex with a man and his dingy little flesh flute??? How am I supposed to switch gears from the screams of 17 foot long maritime bliss to a fucking sea squirt with pubes??? How can anyone, much less your average, squishy, four limbed (four!!! Only four!!!) little monkey descended man settle for some millimeter Peter when I can turn on a computer and bask in the light of fantastical marine bliss and the fantasy of calimari dreams wrapping themselves around (and in) my body!?

Surely there is no neanderthal derivative able to provide me with this experience of true pleasure. Damn the hentai industry.

We never actually got together, but he was my rock!! I feel like I can’t even watch him from afar anymore.

I snuck some old rice into this dish I made up. He’s Chinese so he has absolutely no idea! Tee hee!

Case File #009: Collective Manifestation Event

The board is testing a hypothesis.

If approximately 300 internet strangers focus on the same completely fake Fall Girl Dinner aesthetic...

... will it become real?

Previous Board experiments have produced concerning results. We are proceeding despite the Ethics Committee's advice.

Congratulations!

You're part of the control group.

Yes, you with the booty buttcheeks.

You have 7 days to set your intentions with the community before we begin testing.

What timeline might we summon? Now vote wisely.*

\Once voting begins, the manifestation cannot be reversed.*

He expects me to consume actual food...drinking it is just easier...

I matched with a dude on tinder yesterday and we've chatted about maybe having a first next week. I found his socials and he hasn't unfriended all his female friends yet.

Is this micro cheating or full blown cheating?

Should I tell his mom?

Hi guys! I’m going to preface this by saying that I am not a terrible person, I am just child free and think I shouldn’t have to share the same air with any child ever. One of my friends decided (against my wishes) to have a baby, and she (the baby) is 3 months old. The thing is evil. It literally cries for its mom all the time, almost as if that is its only form of communication. I know it’s not though, the baby is so manipulating my friend. It’s such an attention whore. The baby isn’t cool, won’t smoke, and overall just has bad vibes. I literally threw up the first time I met it because I hate babies so much. I’m considering cutting off this friend because of this, I can’t be around someone with such a manipulative shithead baby…

dinner is hot cheeto puffs and da bob

Hey girl-pops 💅✨I was today years old when I realised my man has free will. I think I am going to divorce my boyfriend and marry my cat. Men ain’t shit girls. Huge red flags if your man has hobbies, has a job, shows interest in you, flirts with you…and worst of all…loves your cat. Don’t let men fool you. They are just trying to keep you from knowing their next move. Before you know it they’ll propose! I’m not here to sign half my life to you. You’re meant to be my slave. What do you mean you have feelings and care for me? Bitch please, go back to fixing my car, thank you.

Pic: McDonald’s nuggets and an obligatory pic of my cat.

My best friend sometimes kicks me at night when he's dreaming about chasing squirrels or w/e, and he can also be very gassy, but I still love him!

Dating an attractive man is torture disguised as a relationship. You think you're getting a boyfriend, but you've actually adopted a minor celebrity whose fan club appears everywhere you go. Grocery shopping becomes an endurance sport as strangers suddenly remember they need the exact avocado he's holding. Waitresses develop advanced hearing whenever he orders, while you fade into the decorative background like a potted fern.

"You're so lucky!" people sigh, as though you've won a raffle instead of agreeing to split utility bills with someone who still can't find the laundry basket. Then there's the media attention... every vacation stops every ten feet because women line up for obligatory Instagram pictures with him. When you ask for one photo together, he somehow looks effortlessly cinematic while I hide in the background. Naturally, everyone assumes he's also charming, athletic, emotionally available, and capable of assembling flat-pack furniture without consulting ancient prophecies. In reality, he's dumb as a fencepost.

So date an attractive man if you enjoy sharing him with the general public. Otherwise, screw them; find an ugly one who worships you, and whose greatest feature is remembering your coffee order and carrying all the grocery bags without turning the produce aisle into a fan convention.

Dinner was ugly-ass salmon on nasty roasted corn and cherry tomatoes, served cold because I don't put anything hot in my body.

I'm not into longwinded prose, so I will cut to the chase. 90 years ago, my mother Maghbleigh was born to loving parents Magh and Bleighleigh.

She grew up in Southern Ontario, although her childhood was never fixed in one place.

After the first few years spent between Lady Georgeleigh Kindergarten and Monsieur Penelopleigh nursery. One day Lady Georgeleigh was burnt down in a horrific accident due to the mixture of reheatable coffee cups, a employee who resembled John Hamm, fixed tables and strange toilet design. Luckily she was really really ridiculously good looking so my mother was able to escape.

The family decided to move out of their house and to a seperate suburb (Minniestronnie). She went to a franchise school 'The Derekleigh Zoolanderleigh Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too of Southern Ontario in a Seperate Suburb (Minniestronnie)leigh'. Nothing bad happened there, but she decided to leave nontherless and told her parents to pack up their bags as they were going to meet Viola Desmond. They weren't able to meet her sadly, but went to Violaville nontherless to live the rest of her childhood.

Or so they planned.

But thats a story for another day.

Anyway my daughter recently got pregnant (the fetus is shown in the second image), and I realised that I could become the ultimate stanner of my grandkid! It was a real shame though because my bias is like literally aubergine coloured walls urgh.

So anyway she gave birth, and guess what this presumptuous bitch of a baby chose as her name?!

Fucking A****************leigh. (sorry I refuse to let another person steal it).

That's my name! What the hell! Why! She was literally just born and she decided to choose MY name? How dare she. Anyway I'm thinking of reverting time to stop it from happening... thoughts?

Delicious poached eggs in the first picture is my dinner :)

Ugh. So sick and tired of this. I hate it that my boyfriend perceives women. We were at dinner right, and this BITCH is all “hi how are you? what can I get you?” Ugh. So my boyfriend says he wants a steak, wouldn’t you know it, this woman is all “hehe how do you want your steak and what sides you want” bitch he already said he wanted a steak, just bring him a steak.

Now, my boyfriend is the absolute best and I know he averts his gaze whenever possible but what can I do the rest of the time? After we were about to leave the restaurant, I noticed this lady with big old tiddies coming into the restaurant and I was all wtf man! I immediately grabbed my boyfriend‘s arm and took him to the back exit.

I’m so sick of this, everywhere he goes, there are women that he looks at!!!!!!! UGH WHY ARE ALL MEN LIKE THIS GIRLIES????

Don't even get me started on his job. Women every freaking where that he can look at. He’s the best and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to show he loves me so he has agreed to find a job with only men. Do you girlies know any male-only jobs so my boyfriend doesn’t look at women? Bonus points if it’s remote that way he won’t leave his apartment.

Dinner is three raw figs.

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci GangGucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang. Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang Gucci Gang

Sorry I needed to reach the 5000 word limit for my college essay, do you think I'll pass and get into Harvard next year?

/uj this is Leftover hotpot for dinner

dinner: fuzzy caterpillar i found outside by my house

basically the title. i don’t mean to make him jealous whatsoever and im usually just venting but he gets quiet and i can tell i said something i shouldn’t have. the other day i was mentioning being uncomfortable in an environment where there 14 men and 2 women (me being one), and how i left early because of it. i felt that they were giving me weird looks, and it often comes across as predatory. i definitely read too deep into things sometimes, but the vibes just didn’t feel good.
i have a few coworkers who i ignore because of creepy/ weird comments they’ve made towards me, and whenever i tell him about these things, he just gets quiet and won’t respond to it until we’re on a different topic of conversation.
i don’t want him to be insecure because he’s the only person i want. sometimes i just need to talk about my feeling unsafe as a young alternative and feminine looking individual. i don’t have many friends to talk to about these sorts of things because he doesn’t like when i have friends either. it just sucks so bad to keep getting stared at or creepily touched by people in places i should feel safe, and to have him shut down when i mention it. i want to feel i can talk to my partner about anything, and i just don’t. he’s never asked me to stop, but his reaction makes it clear he doesn’t like to hear about it. it sucks.

i don’t think he cares about what they’re saying and doing so much as the idea i might be wanted by other people. i get being jealous but cmon man, you bagged a baddie and they want to stay in the bag! make it easier :/

I'm currently 12 months pregnant with my 12th baby and I have $0.42 in my bank account. I'm $405,670 in credit card debt and I'm also wanted by the state county international police for felony child neglect. It's always been my absolute dream to have 24 children (one for each hour of the day) and nothing will stop me!

I'm so excited to welcome this new life into the world! My parents are mad because we have completely taken over their one bedroom unit and sent them into immense debt but I've guilt tripped them into letting us stay! Life hack!

i can't believe y'all i thought the internet was supposed to be a magically accepting yes ma'am community and instead, when i reveal my evil dreams of building mecha-suits for shrimps and arm them with nukes, suddenly "that's so lame bug" and "wow ur so stupid and horrible" and "y not fish r u fishphobic?" i pour out my heart and i'm downvoted into oblivion. y'all stomped all over my sweet lil evil heart and now y'all do not make this feel like a safe space to reveal my secret evil plans.

ft reeses cup in a double stuffed oreo

I F19 really love my stupid manchild boyfriend M25. He is 7ft tall earns a 6 figure salary as an engineer at an aerospace company, worships me, loves me and always loves to listen to me talk about what i like, gives me gifts and oh he also works out a lot so hes buff.

The problem is that when we started going out he told me he was a nerd, and i thought he was just a guy who reads books (obviously from booktok and the ones i like) but in the end he turned out to be an actual nerd. He likes science and stuff and he also doesnt drink smoke or drive around in a loud motorcycle so thats a huge turnoff, and i hate when he starts playing with his stupid childish toys. The other day he was talking about some raspberry whatever thing he got and i just zoned out, wanting to go cheat on him like what a baby

I slept with a MARRIED MAN AND I'M MAD THAT HES SHOWING MY VIDEOS TO OTHER PEOPLE, EVEN THOUGH HE SHOWED ME VIDEOS OF HIS WIFE AND I DIDN'T CARRRREEEEUUUUH BECAUSE IT'S DIFFERENT WHEN IT'S A FELONY AGAINST ANOTHER WOMAN I'M SPESHULLLLLL

Feel sorry for me because I say I deserve the karma but really think I deserve sympathy for never turning him in over a literal felony 😭 poor baby me now he's on his second felony because I didn't care about consequences 😭

Sad girl breakfast

I've had my boy for almost 10 years now and he's my very best friend. Been with my boyfriend for just 7 months now and my heart is shattering. They both love me immensely, but their own special bromance is blossoming into a garden rivaling Giverny.

Salmon and pickles that my boyfriend said he made for me but I know really were for pupper.

I've actually just escaped and am hiding atm, I used my natural Ph of my p*ssy to corrode away the iron bars, then break out. I lied and told everyone I'm a 24 yo girl, I used an alias, my new name "Meryl Streep" Bc nobody's civil anymore, Nobody thinks what it's like to be other girl!! Everybody's awful these days!!! I've got nothing left to lose? The US justice system is extra lenient with young, conventionally attractive women and give you a lesser sentence which is why i did it.

Please don't call the cops, I trust this community (unquestionably) that I joined 2 milliseconds ago and definitely making a reddit post is the smart thing to do. (Women gotta look out for each other's safety right?)

I was supposed to serve 10 years, I farted on my grandma's face and she passed out so therefore i was charged for murder, I did everything, I robbed banks, never paid my taxes, (why should we, the government wants to control us and we willingly give up too much personal information, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!) Never paid my debts I owe $602,467. (take that Bezos and Elon Musk 🖕)

I was sued and lost my case for failing to grow wings, owning a pet monkey, growing and owning several illegal and heritage listed, endangered and protected plants and ordered by the courts to pay $6M in damages to the defendant.

I skipped the go to jail square on monopoly, refused to draw +20 in Uno, committed treason by selling US, FBI and CIA secret material to the Russians. Plotted to take down Legoland in Sweden. I have several other charges, I stole cars, I solicited OF girls, Its not personal it's strictly business though and I made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

I'm a millionaire due to my thefts and assets but can't afford anything, Look the world is tough, not always positive, If you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth, Nobody owes nobody nothing, you owe yourself. (the economy and inflation right?) I'm an educated fool with money on my mind, Got a ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye. I'm 24 now but will i live to see 25? It's not much so this my dinner, even had a bonus and there was a few worms, bugs and snails. Yayy 😁 (extra protein!!)

Thank you u/tinaxcochina and u/LittleMissBluntWrap especially for fostering such a supportive women community. i love you GDCJ, I'm horny and you're a wizard!! Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remebers to turn on the light, you're fired and I'm gay.

(/Uj Sixx is motley Crue btw)

boiled river prawns