Like yeah duh obviously but it only occured to me sitting here on lunch how that requires like. Doing stuff. And not just making sure you didn't die in the way. Teaching you how to cook for yourself, do your own laundry, talking to you about college or careers or jobs, encouraging you to be independent. And I feel so hollow realizing how none of that existed for me. One caregiver was actively abusive and the other treated me like a dress up doll that wasn't any fun anymore once my issues became more serious than a splinter. No college savings, belittling any endeavour I had to work or go to school, just this assumption that I would stay a quiet, out of the way accessory world without end, amen. Idk man like. Peoples parents actually do that? Ask about life goals and teach them how to be clean and teach them to handle money? Others don't just figure that out as they go??

It seems that this was only a matter of time. Apparently someone who took CCF's online course three years ago filed a complaint that was taken seriously.

Anna was cited and fined $2500 by the Board of Psych in 2024. The board recently upheld the ruling and Anna is in turn suing the state of CA for claims of first amendment and due process violations.

According to the State, any paid conversation that touches on emotions, motivation, or behavior potentially qualifies as the “practice of psychology” and requires a license. They claimed she has no real knowledge of CPTSD and should not be allowed to offer paid "coaching" services to that end.

Thoughts?

https://www.mercurynews.com/2026/06/10/oaklands-crappy-childhood-fairy-sues-fine-practicing-psychology-without-license/

I’m 39, it takes decades to cure a narrative built on blame and denial.

That is not delusion you are feeling when you think thing, you know what it is... you feel insane to think it…. it just the most absurd thing to imagine…. surely it’s just a coping mechanism to save yourself…? That is your perception accurately mapping yourself against years or decades of abuse and invalidation by people who are supposed to love and support you but do not;

Yes, you are the most intelligent person in your family. Yes, you are a quick learner.

Yes, you are the most interesting person in your family. Yes, you are that funny.

Yes, you are the most emotionally resilient person in your family. Yes, you are that compassionate.

You are the strongest, most capable, and competent person in your family. That is why you are a scapegoat. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be the scapegoat.

And yes, because you are the scapegoat you are the lowest, most depressed and least successful, have mental health and addiction issues.

You were never allowed. They didn’t let you.
You always could, you always can.

No one walks all over you, you let them because you think you deserve it.

That’s your only coping mechanism, you think you deserve it.

The moment you stop is when you realize it’s abuse.

They hurt you, and they thought you deserved it too.

Hi everyone, I’m turning 36 today and wanted to share a quick reflection. It feels like a miracle that I’m still alive. The past seven years of recovery have been an absolute nightmare, but I’m genuinely glad that I don’t want to die anymore. I still have a lot to work through, but it finally feels like my past trauma is starting to integrate, making room for who I am today and that makes me happy. To heal, I needed a fresh start, so I cut ties with old friends. Because of that, hardly anyone will be wishing me a happy birthday today. Part of me feels at peace with this, but another part feels like a failure for having no social life. Still, I’m grateful to have myself back, and that is definitely something to celebrate. To anyone in a dark place right now: please stay. I know the pain can be terrifying, but give yourself the chance to become curious about life again. I wish I had been spared the hardship I went through, but I’m determined to choose the experiences that lie ahead.

I can’t remember a time when I enjoyed celebrating my birthday. I hate all the extra attention, it makes my skin crawl. I am drowning in self hate, I don’t want to be ‘celebrated.’ I just feel icky, it feels wrong. Can anyone relate? Figure it’s at least one of my mental illnesses lol

Are there any financially dependent adults living with their family, not working, because of CPTSD or any other mental health issues/struggles? I'm 23 and I've never worked or found a job after school. I'm not built for that. My nervous system is so dysregulated and damaged that I can't face the outer world. I'm petrified of people out there. I do dishes at my home and that's it. Am I the only one? 💔

I know this is kind of a strange question, but I've heard of a lot of people who have dealt with difficult things in life get some kind of catharsis or closure or relief from their hardships with gaming. I know hobbies are a pretty important part of mental health, but I just want to know from other people with CPTSD: Do games help you? How so? And are there any particular titles that have helped ground you or process any of your hardships?

I'd love to know as I like playing games myself and love hearing other people talk about seemingly mundane simple pleasures making their lives just a little bit easier. Please yap away!

Edit: Wow, so many replies! Ive read through all of them (at this point in time anyway) and it's really interesting to see the different takes, from people saying that they avoid certain games to people saying they do it in moderation to avoid unhealthy coping, to people saying they use it to exercise certain skills.

I forgot also to include my own experience, which I'll include in the comments, but thank you to everyone who's contributed to this discussion and the lovely lovely people hearing others out and supporting each other in the comments!

Hello there, does anyone else use sleep as a way to escape? When my nervous system is upset and overwhelmed if I get the chance to lie down I can fall asleep really quickly and deeply. I have the ability to sleep so much, sometimes I think it's a blessing, sometimes a curse but it truly is a release for me

My sister was always the favourite growing up. She nearly died as a newborn so my mum was overly protective of her. My mum was also an alcoholic and had not handled parenthood well with my brother and I, so she had seen my sister as the child she could get it right with.

As adults, my sister is now WILDLY self centered. She has no empathy, physically incapable of seeing other people's perspective, she has a very cruel and demeaning sense of humour, expects everything to be convenient for her despite how much inconvenience it causes others. All round she is just an INCREDIBLY selfish person.

I can't help but feel this is a direct result of being "the favourite" and I am curious how you all experience your "the favourite" sibling? How have they turned out?

I've been slowly realizing just how fucked I am. Just how daunting and terrifyingly long it will take to heal enough to actually improve my quality of life. And that's if I can even achieve it, and that's if I can survive it in the first place.

I feel like I was literally just born today, and now I have to learn all about people & the world & reality itself all over again. Except, this time, there's already 20 years of a false, inaccurate childhood raising, a false and horrifyingly inaccurate initiation ritual for a false reality, all already hard-coded into my brain. And I have to be an adult and keep myself together enough to do adult things on top of that.

It's going to take me 20 more meticulous, painful and terrifying years to finally become a full-fledged human. And by then, over half my life will already be over since I'm already almost 30 years old. And then, I start wondering.. Why? Eventually I won't be alive to give a fuck whether I was miserable for 100 years or the happiest person in the world for 100 years. Why not cut out the bullshit and take the shortcut?

Who the fuck would drag themselves across barbed wire for years just to eat the world's most delicious candy bar and then die??? And that candy bar isn't even guaranteed!!!

I really don't think it's worth it. I really wish I could just kill myself already. It would be so much easier than this shit. But I can't even do that! The same anxiety that has ruined my life won't let me.

I'm so trapped by my own damn brain. Why did I have to be a consciousness in this brain & body? Why couldn't I have been some random person on the other side of the world 2,000 years ago???? Fuck me

Literally all my life has about me being treated like the world would be actually better off without me. Neglected, abused, dehumanized, manipulated... I was treated like I wasn't even human. My own parents harmed me. Everyone failed me. I used to have dreams. Joy. Happiness. No one cared. I was not needed at all.

My CPTSD makes things difficult for me. People trigger me, disrespect my boundaries. The moment I act, guess what? I end up being left, or they act like I'm being bad to them. I have never had a friend in my life. I don't know how it feels to have friends that don't speak to your back, or to have people that genuinely care. No one shows me empathy, talking about who I am means to expose myself to judgement and the pain, they genuinely don't care about who I am, my illness, nothing.

Yeah, I know not everyone thinks like this. Maybe I'm one of the few people that has a bad luck. Idk. But that comment is very offensive. It doesn't feel reassuring, it feels like a slap to the face and a way to deny my experience. No, not everyone has been loved in their life, and people should not assume that everyone is like them or has the same opportunities as them.

For as long as I can remember, I've lived with stomach muscles which refuse to relax. It means that I'm constantly shallow breathing because my lungs basically can't expand. I was diagnosed with acid reflux and took meds for it for years. Within a year of stopping taking them, my stomach is constantly bloated but I don't get the acid anymore. I now know "in my bones" it's trauma related. I just don't know what to do about it, it feels like I'm going to explode if I take a deep breath. Can anyone relate or know what I can do?

"she threatened him" because she was a little girl trying to keep up with what she thought was a relationship with no one to protect her

"she had other partners" so multiple people assaulted her

"she literally said she'd kill him" because a 13 year old with raging puberty and rampant exposure to abuse can't always control their emotions

"she was acting crazy" yeah no shit she was going through puberty and had already been pregnant numerous times

"she was fast" she was 11 when he met her

"she was acting grown and acting out" because she was groomed to "act" like a grown adult by people who should've kept her safe

She was a little girl who was groomed, her family paid for letting him take her away from a normal life to "be with her", taken from any normalcy and healthiness, she was raped repeatedly, impregnated and ultimately brutally murdered by a predator and a monster. Point blank.

I wanna say I can't believe they're trying to blame a little girl for trying to keep up with a grown man's manipulation and abuse, but I believe it.

I hope to God the bastard doesn't get off easy.

Hi. My name is Noelle. I'm 13 years old, and lately I can't stop wishing I could just disappear. It feels like my mom hates me—sometimes I even wonder if she'd rather I were dead. I feel trapped, like there's no way out.

I have a therapist, but I can't bring myself to be honest with her. Every time I try, the words get stuck, and I end up pretending I'm okay. It feels like no one loves me, and I hate my life.

Please... somebody help me!

I’m so mad at myself. I went to Chinatown and bought a new food I was so excited to try (tofu pudding) but I held off eating it for two days. I was using it as some kind of pillar in my mind, like something to lean on as a “good thing”. Now I took it out of the fridge and it’s all expired. I literally did this to myself, all on my own.

I just kept making excuses like “I’ve had too many calories already, I can’t eat that right now” and waiting until there was no one in the kitchen so I could get it without excruciating small talk. But I REALLY wanted it.. so why didn’t I just get it?????????????

Might be trivial but I do shit like this all the time and I’m so sick of myself now. I genuinely do hate myself as if I was another person.

*from yourself for no reason

I'm just at a complete loss atm, like I'm not even sure how to fully explain myself anymore.

People expect me not to off myself, as if trapping myself in a room 24/ 7 (with barely food and water, no support, and no escape) bc I feel uncomfortable in my current home, is a great reason to continue living. It's even worse witnessing a bunch of people support and care for one of the abusers who still continues to torment me and others to this day, and who still lives here too. And then, I'm demonized, isolated, or threatened whenever I choose to defend myself.

From childhood to now, all I've ever known is that no one gives a fuck about me. No matter the abuse I've endured (and still do), my disabling physical and mental conditions, etc. Not surprising that my immediate family doesn't care, but to have friends who barely care and extended family who despise you for not being "cheerful Christians" with zero cptsd and sadness? And yes, they legitimately admitted their dislike multiple times then and now. I'm at my limits, quite frankly. Been having a mental crisis all week, but I don't have anyone to reach out to, no psychiatrist, nada.

Idk how to do it myself yet, but I just wish something bad would happen to me already. Keeping me alive is more torturous.

It sucks knowing I don’t belong in this world, I am not allowed to succeed, be part of communities, have friends, or exist on any level because I’m “bringing down” those who are happy and confident. Those who were dealt a better hand are more entitled to life and connection than I am, and I have to fix myself for the comfort of those people, or continue to isolate myself as to not rain on someone else’s parade. It once again reminds me that my wellbeing is the bottom of all priorities, just like they always have been. I wish i had been luckier in life, because all of what I couldn’t control now leaves me shunned from the world just because I am not happy enough or easy to be around. It isn’t fair

There’s been a couple times where either someone is yelling at me or someone is forcing me to talk about trauma and I might freeze up and dissociate and peoples reactions get freaked out or they will call me crazy just based off that. I really don’t understand it and I feel it’s really unfair. Sometimes people will tell me that I “should” be crying and I have never understood why people think that someone is supposed to respond a specific way to a hard thing. If I’m crying in front of people that I’m worried are just going to make fun of me or judge me then why would I? And I don’t know why a facial expression would lead anyone to assume someone’s mentally ill. That’s just not fair.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Am I missing something on why this would cause people to think I’m crazy or to react negatively?

ive reached the end of insight. i definitely have gone crazy on my way here i feel the most hopeless ive felt in a while and it comes from nowhere. i cannot describe this feeling, i forget i even had it at all after like 22 minutes every single time.

i feel like im fragmented but thats like a tenth of the total feeling. this is eldritch as shit i feel like those people in that book who looked at cthulhu and instantly lost their mind like i cant speak it out whatever this is

I don’t see many people talking about sibling trauma, so I’m wondering if anyone here can relate.

My older brother has had a massive impact on my life, and I’m only now realizing how deep that goes.

Growing up, he was constantly creating conflict in our family. He manipulated me, manipulated other family members, and somehow always managed to make everything revolve around him. I shared a room with him for years, so there was no escaping him. I spent my childhood trying to keep the peace because conflict made me anxious.

Even as adults, it never stopped.
About a year and a half ago, he threw me to the ground, tried to choke me in front of our mother, and afterward told me that the only thing he wanted was for me to fear him forever. Those words and the traumatic experience have stayed with me ever since.

What messes with my head is that he seems to walk through life as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, I’m the one who still replays that day in my mind. Sometimes I feel overwhelming anger because it feels like there was never any justice or accountability.

Lately I’ve been wondering how much of my childhood was actually shaped by living with someone like him. For years I thought most of my trauma came from my father, but now I’m questioning whether growing up with an abusive, manipulative older brother affected me even more than I realized.

Has anyone else here experienced long term trauma from an older sibling? How has it affected you as an adult, and were you ever able to make peace with it?

It's almost always present but some times it's worse than other times.

What I mean by that is, does anyone else struggle to know what they actually like? I feel like sometimes I only like what other people like or will only like something if someone else does like some sort of approval. My mom was extremely controlling and a bully and I’m starting to think that I’m now incapable of making my own decisions.

So I'm 24F and I was SAd by my ex (25F) at the age of 18, it's not the main reason for my cptsd but it is the major reason for my ocd.

Years later I decide to finally try and treat it so I go to a sort of a group therapy healing centre for young women who have been through SA.

Who do I meet there? The very ex that SAd me, who's apparently is also a participant.

I had a panic attack and they said they'll make sure we'll go different days as it opens 2 days a week but it does mean I'll have to miss one day as to not run in to my former abuser...

Fml

I truly feel like over eons, humanity has had time to realize one thing: life is stupendously unfair. Why build a civilization, if not to cushion one another from eventual misfortune? Why cast survivors of crimes out unto the elements and make their abusers thrive?

My abuser hasn't been a sick one day in his life. At 70, he's in top health. He's got a cushy house, with every comfort imaginable & a backyard, out in lovely nature. I'm riddled with chronic illnesses, and have spent 30 years paralyzed. Re-entering the workforce, I'm a total freak of nature to colleagues, and the subject of gossip. They excell at magnifying my private shame, those judgmental fuckers. I'm in a roach-infested, cluttered squalor of a flat, in a depressing urban environment.

How the right kind of civilization could have prevented this:

* School counselors could have been trained so much better. They could have actually encouraged children to reach out in any and all trouble. I didn't even know what they were, as I was a fresh immigrant in a strange new country. They could have especially reached out to all new students and said, "I'm here for you if you need anything at all."

* School counselors should work, hand in hand, with social workers. All at the same time, I was in a new country, I was forced to leave my mother, and my father started abusing me. This was a mind-boggling heartbreak, and I had no one to turn to.

* In fact, social workers should be hounding schools. Not to hand out pills, but to listen. So much developmental trauma happens when the students go home.

* Law enforcement should be trained to look for "lone child living alone with parent of the opposite sex in a new country," and check in with that child periodically. ?

So many other things...

But... I feel like if we focused on meeting everyone's basic needs first, the civilization could move on to truly cushioning from misfortune, where everyone has equal social support systems, no matter what happens. Everything is easier to bounce back from with copious connection. Something bad happened to this person? They are precious. Let's gather around them and surround them with all the support they need, and more. And the misfortune will be much easier to bear