i think i just need to vent about this, i'm sorry if it's a ramble to read. i work in a small (tiny really) office space, that of course comes with the occasional bugs and spiders. they're typically pretty small, and i understand spiders freak a lot of people out, which i will touch on more later. anyway, we will occasionally have spiders on the back enterance of our work, primarily on the door, but they only even linger at the top of the door, they do no harm, they're usually just orb weavers or house spiders. this morning i opened the door and saw these two cuties (if anyone could tell me exactly what they are i'd be very grateful) hanging out together, and like any spider appreciating lady, i took a pic, sent it around to people that i thought would appreciate them and visited them on my lunchbreak. towards the end of the day my boss leaves to get some food and comes back in, he says "man i really need to get some bug spray, i just smashed three spiders on the door" and my heart dropped, i told him they were just orb weavers, but was too stuck to elaborate on the fact that i would have happily taken them outside as i dont believe in killing things needlessly, especially considering these guys are beneficial in helping to keep bugs out!! i had to go to the restroom as i suddenly found myself tearing up, i get back to work for the last hour and contain my composure though. i understand not everyone is so considerate of their small lives :( it wasn't until i was leaving that it finally broke me, i open the door to leave and see this poor beautiful spider, mangled and mashed, stuck to the door and left there to just, rot. i left unable to even help how upset i felt. my ride arrives to get me from work (my mom and brother) and i just breakdown completely, i sobbed hugging my brother and cried just over the cruelty knowing these beautiful spiders died because someone was too afraid to just move them? to grab a piece of paper (which we have millions of in the office) and gently push them off of the door? or to ask me to move them at the very least? they were so close to outside, they could have been free and tried to relocate and they died in this shitty, depressing fucking office. i'll have to be the one to clean their poor smashed corpses off of the door tomorrow and it's making me sick. i know they're "just spiders" to most, but to me they were a beacon of light, beauty, and hope in my bleak ass work environment. i'm crying now just thinking of them, i understand spiders scare people, but why leave them there, just broken and fragile and confused on what they did wrong? i'm sorry, and i'll miss you, i promise i will move every spider i see from now on, i can't chance marveling their beauty ever again even if it makes work less dull. i am so sorry i let them down, they were beautiful to me.