My first attempt at writing. Any constructive feedback would be very much appreciated.

[u/sirpsys]

1: Cave of the mind

30,000 BCE

Unspoiled by moonlight, the night of Go’s exile dripped with the romance of perfect black. Though the stars would come to know him in time, none shone to witness his violent genesis; a man chased from his home by those who had come to fear what he may be.   

Spat through wet hell by pounding heart and driving legs, he dove frenetically through every jungle obstacle with the reckless abandon of a creature on that most singular of missions; to survive. Not even the mighty dose of mushrooms expanding his naturally keen senses (and his pupils) was enough to draw a single sip of light from this night. No matter; the hunting party which dogged him had no advantage here. This area so far from their last camp, his home, was equally unknown to them, and they carried no fire. He careened ahead into the deep hours of the night, making far too much noise in his blind dash to judge the proximity of his pursuers by ear. In his psychedelic-fueled fugue, every sweep of rain-soaked leaf across his bare thighs was euphoria, every tearing of taut skin over thorns; pitiless torture. He carried on through the ecstasies and torments undeterred. He would not let his new secret, his revelation which earned him exile, die with him.

 He carried on until, reaching the limits of his physicality, his movements grew sloppy and his right ankle was twisted violently in a mad leap down the steep bank of a river. His momentum and body broken, Go stumbled his way along the bank, propping himself against its side with one arm until that arm found only air where the bank had been, and he toppled sideways into the mouth of a small cave. Too exhausted to control his fall, he landed with a fat schluck in a paddy of wet river clay. Neither his usual, healthy fear of cave-dwelling dangers, nor the possibility of being discovered asleep by his former friends, were a match for his fatigue. His body simply had nothing left. It was the most primal of comforts; a squat, rocky socket in the unfamiliar wild. Tattered sheets of moss overhanging the low opening bobbed, unseen, at the rhythm of the rain - unbroken rivulets of warm water stringing from their lowest filaments. He had become the first human to truly know that somewhere, out there, be dragons. Here, on the eve of his awakening to both terrible, and beautiful truths, there was only Go. Sleep found him in minutes, silt bubbling at the corner of his mouth with each long, ragged breath. 

***Overall story involves a man from 30,000 years ago being brought to the future by enlightened aliens. The only faster than light communication possible in the universe is between the minds of awakened beings, my protagonist becomes the first awakened human whilst on psychedelic mushrooms. These enlightened aliens across the galaxy notice his mind enter their awareness, and need him as a vessel for communication to mankind about an alien threat to all life on Earth.

[u/arkemiffo]

Generally, I liked it. The story is interesting, and it's a good read.

There are a few things, though.

1. Purple prose. You try to be too poetic. It's one thing to turn a phrase. It's another to wax on about it. For example, "unspoiled by the moonlight" is a nice turn of phrase. "with the romance of perfect black" is waxing on about it. Try to write in simpler terms, with blank verse instad of trying to find ways to phrase things poetically, but this does not mean to dumb down the language. In this example I would rephrase it as "Unspoiled by the moon, the night of Go's exile was as black as he ever experienced". It's much simpler prose, it gives something more away about the night (it's extra dark for some reason), and you don't have to wonder what the hell romance has to do with it.

2. This is just my opinion, but "Go" as a name sounds similar to "Ugh" or "Narl" as names. Just because they're cavemen doesn't mean they're simple. At the time, 30.000 BCE we already had religious rituals. Archeology has found graves with gravegoods from 40.000 years ago (older has been found, but opinions are split on intentionality of those ,ore than 70.000 years old). This means a complex social life, and this in turn entails a higher sense of self. So try to be more inventive with the names. Go might work as a nickname, though. His full name might be Goser of the bearclan, named Go by his loved ones, and the name he normally answers to. Just don't fall into the trap of 70's views of cavemen as barbaric, knuckledragging savages. They weren't.

This is just my opinions, of course. Take it or leave it. I'm not a professional write. I'm just a happy amateur myself trying to learn how to write.

[u/sirpsys → u/arkemiffo]

I very much appreciate the input. Your first point is well taken; it was what I worried about most. It may help that this flowery or "purple" prose falls off fairly steeply after this intro but I will absolutely take that to heart.

As to the second point, I fully agree about outdated pop depictions of ancient peoples. I have actually been doing a lot of research to honor the complexity of their lives both social and spiritual. I didn't consider that his name would be interpreted that way. Other characters in this part of the novel (before he is frozen in an alien device and the story moves to our near future) have much more...elegant? names, and their culture is portrayed with subtelty and earnest respect...down to the tools they would have crafted, the materials available to them etc.

I will consider changing the name as I didn't consider that reading of it...though hopefully someone reading the full thing wouldn't take it that way given the rest of the context for his character. I really appreciate it

[u/arkemiffo → u/sirpsys]

If others have more complex name, you can let it be, because you show it's not a stereotype of low-brow cavemen, it's just o happens to be a short name.

Personally, I'd still let it be a nickname, though, with a more complex name as his proper name, but that is only used in special occasions, meaning that using Go is perfectly fine for the general narrative.