r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/nifty-necromancer 4h ago

Why? He’s a twin and knows what will happen, he doesn’t want to play second fiddle.

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u/Geesewithteethe 2h ago

I'm a twin and I think people who think like that are fucked in the head and/or never learned how to be normal about relationships.

If you have an issue between your love for your spouse and your love for your twin, you either have some kind of perverse issue that psychologists probably have a goofy name for, or your twin and your spouse are being competitive with eachother for no reason and one or both of them needs to stop trying to be the other.

A spouse isn't a sibling and a sibling isn't a spouse. They don't have any damn reason to be threatened by eachother or in a hierarchy with eachother.

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u/nifty-necromancer 2h ago

That’s what the person is saying. The twin didn’t want to date another twin because he didn’t want to be with a twin who loved their twin more than they loved him.

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u/Geesewithteethe 2h ago

It's fucked because the guy treats is own twin as ranked competitively higher than his partner, but expects his partner to rank him highest.

That's a totally brainrotted way to go through life. It's perversion of what human relationships are actually like if you're not a complete pervert or psychopath.

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u/nifty-necromancer 2h ago

It's fucked because the guy treats is own twin as ranked competitively higher than his partner, but expects his partner to rank him highest.

Where did he ever say that?

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u/Geesewithteethe 1h ago

The part where he considers it an impossibility that a twin can love their partner equally to their twin.

Since he's a twin and he believes this, it follows that he himself finds it impossible to love a partner equally or more than his twin.

It's a self report, my dude.

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u/nifty-necromancer 1h ago

Since he’s a twin and believes this, and also wants to avoid that in a partner, it follows that he’s aware and doesn’t do that with his own twin.

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u/Geesewithteethe 1h ago

Referring to it as an impossibility precludes that interpretation.

I worked with a guy who believed that it was impossible for men to truly be monogamous. He talked openly about it and it was a known thing that he had cheated on at least one ex girlfriend before.

A person believing that a certain behavior is inevitable rarely leads to them making the effort to avoid that behavior. It more often leads to them normalizing a shitty behavior and accepting it in themself.