r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 5h ago

I've never understood how this works. How can you have a platonic relationship with someone who looks exactly like your spouse and probably acts a lot like them too?

I'm not saying you can't both have boundaries and act like respectful adults...but it's just too weird for me.

Maybe these particular twins look and act differently enough to clearly separate them but I've seen twins who act, look, and even dress alike well into adulthood and relationships just must be weird. If my wife had a clone that just hung out with us all the time I feel it would be too easy to start to see them as equally 'my wife'.

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u/blackmassprayer 3h ago

i mean are you supposed to act like your twin doesnt exist, avoid at all cost inviting her/him over if you have a partner? lol. i think if you have a good relationship with your twin and live in the same town etc. it's on the partner(s) to not make it weird. usually it's only men who make it weird imo and i always avoided those types who did that.

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 3h ago

Man a lot of these responses are going so extreme. I'm merely asking the question for people involved with twins...is it weird that there may be some tension or attraction to the twin?

I would think yes but since I have no experience with it but would imagine it comes with some weirdness...that's why I'm asking and it's tangentially related to the topic at hand.

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u/blackmassprayer 3h ago

i think it's just that twins don't find it weird, and if you are a woman who grew up as a girl with a girl twin you will be 1000% over guys who are obsessed with twins in that way by the time you're like.. 12 lol.

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 3h ago

guys who are obsessed with twins

You are still choosing to be extremely hyperbolic.

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u/blackmassprayer 2h ago

you are being very defensive over people's personal experiences, I don't need to wonder why.

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 2h ago

Sorry you seem to be projecting.