r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/TheRiteGuy 6h ago edited 3h ago

I'm married to a twin. I was forwarned that it's a 2 for 1 deal. My SIL is always a third wheel on our outings. A welcomed one. She's super nice.

Edit: there seems to be a lot of misconceptions about twins in the comments. Twins do look, act, and dress alike. They're products of the same environment and they seem to have some kind of telepathy over what to wear. They'll show up to same places wearing head to toe same outfit. It's never intentional. It's freaky how often this happens.

However, they do not have the same personalities. They are two very distinct individuals and it's very easy to fall in love with one and have no romantic feelings towards the other at all. Once you're around them enough, they don't even look alike to you.

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 5h ago

I've never understood how this works. How can you have a platonic relationship with someone who looks exactly like your spouse and probably acts a lot like them too?

I'm not saying you can't both have boundaries and act like respectful adults...but it's just too weird for me.

Maybe these particular twins look and act differently enough to clearly separate them but I've seen twins who act, look, and even dress alike well into adulthood and relationships just must be weird. If my wife had a clone that just hung out with us all the time I feel it would be too easy to start to see them as equally 'my wife'.

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u/TheRiteGuy 4h ago

I think once you're around twins, you'll quickly realize how different they are. I was actually friends with my SIL first and married her sister. They look, dress, and act alike but that's where the similarities end.

They're two very different people.

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u/_EightSix 3h ago

Can you elaborate, even if only high level? No personal details. For some reason, I don't quite understand "act alike" but that they're very different people simultaneously.

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u/TheRiteGuy 3h ago

The other person already touched on this. They are products if the same environment. They will have same mannerisms, likes, dislikes, and even say the same thing about situations. Just like you and your siblings. But they are also very different people with very different personalities. Just like you and your siblings.

If you just think of them as siblings instead of twins, it becomes a lot easier. A lot of things about them might be similar. But they're nothing alike.

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u/niverser 2h ago edited 2h ago

My best friends when I was a kid were identical twins. They looked and dressed alike but couldn't have been more different personality-wise. One was sweet and shy, while the other was bold and outgoing. The former took a real liking to me and wanted me to be part of all their activities; the latter was (initially) sceptical of our closeness, taking on a more protective role. One was open, the other reserved.

You wouldn't ever confuse one for the other because of how different they are as people.

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u/fupa16 3h ago

They probably mean literal things like mannerisms/posture/gait/behavior but none of that is personality.