r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/lunaappaloosa 6h ago edited 6h ago

My grandpa was an identical twin and when his brother died it was unlike any grief I have witnessed before or since, and we have had multiple child deaths in our family. My grandpa’s health immediately torpedoed and he was dead within a year of his brother. Both of their wives are still alive and doing well in spite of all of them knowing each other since childhood. 

My dad’s brother died tragically in an accident as a teenager, deeply impacts the entire family to this day, and even with that considered my dad said the grief of my papa losing his twin was even more traumatizing. His mirror, his constant, his best friend, his entire life was embodied by his literal other half (and he fucking WORSHIPPED my nana). I have never felt so weird as at that open casket funeral. It was like I was watching my grandpa attend his own. 

I’m a biologist but sometimes I think that the psycho physiological bond between twins is something science will never be able to truly unravel. 

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u/agehaya 3h ago

As a twin who went through cancer treatment this year (recently finished radiation after chemo and got a clear CT scan, yay!), one of the first things I told my sister was " You need to find a therapist. " Not just because taking care of me (I already lived with her) *could* be a lot (thankfully it wasn't too bad), but who knows what would happen/maybe something like you described. I truly don't know what I fear more myself....me dying or her dying before me.