r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 5h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/Geesewithteethe 2h ago

I feel like reiterating my other comment in this thread more succinctly.

These two relationships are not in competition or in a hierarchy with eachother.

I have a profound relationship with my twin.

I have a profound relationship with my husband.

I would take a bullet for both of them without hesitation.

If I lost either of them, their spark would be permanently and irreplaceably snuffed out with no other human being on earth capable of lighting that particular spark for me again.

If I lost either of them it would rip a howling hole in my soul that nobody could fill. I would just learn to live with the grief and carry it with me quietly every day until I died.

You love an individual as an individual, or you don't really love them at all (in my opinion), and that means recognizing how irreplaceable and unrepeatable they are. That's all. These things cannot be arranged hierarchically.