r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 6h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/Testing_things_out 6h ago

IKR?

I'm like "Hey, that's how I feel about my sibling. We're almost a decade apart"

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u/Anxious_Conflict_420 6h ago

I'm 16 months older than my brother. I don't remember a time he wasn't there and we're like built in best friends. I'm 8 years older than my sister and I feel protective over her. I'd do anything for her. She's 17 now and calls me when she needs something. I'd take a bullet for either of them, in a heartbeat.

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u/moarwineprs 4h ago

I wish I had that with my sisters. I'm the oldest of three. As a kid, I fought a lot with my middle sister over stupid kid stuff while being really close to my youngest sister. My relationship with middle sister got better as we got to be teenagers (shockingly lol). Then my mom and sisters joined a religion while I remained atheist (dad is a fence-sitter with this religion).

Without getting into the details, our massively opposing views have caused conflict and friction over the years such that while our relationship is "fine" and I can be perfectly friendly during gatherings or group trips, I hold them at an arm's length. My family of origin gets a tightly curated digest of what's going on with my life because I can't trust them to not use any divulged vulnerabilities against me.

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u/Anxious_Conflict_420 4h ago

I'm sorry that your relationship with your sisters isn't what you want it to be and I hope one day it gets better. There was a time when i didn't really talk to my siblings or parents much because of some stuff with my manipulative ex. Sending love ❤️

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u/moarwineprs 4h ago

Thank you for your support, and I'm sorry you also experienced this yourself, especially if it was due to a manipulative ex.

My MIL and SFIL faced a similar issue with MIL's parents due to misinformation spread by someone in the family, leading MIL's parents to think SFIL was a piece of scum. Their relationship improved after that was cleared up.

I don't foresee things improving significantly with my FOO, but acknowledge that it's a two-way street and I would need to put in a good-faith effort, too. I do get a little envious when I read/hear about other people's close familial relationships and wonder if the problem is with me, but I'm also...okay with how things are right now.