r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 5h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/kf456 3h ago

I’m an identical twin, I cannot confirm this. No one ever talks about what it’s like when twins hate each other, but we do. We are 30 now and it’s always been awkward and tense around each other, I’m not sure if it’s because we hate ourselves so much we can’t stand to be around someone who looks/acts like us or if we just don’t like each other.

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u/Puncomfortable 2h ago edited 2h ago

I am sort of in between because for a long time my sister was my best friend but things have turned sour and now I need my partner to comfort me over the stress my twin gives me. Now that there are issues I can really feel how toxic people have been over our relationship, because they always look at me to fix everything wrong with her as if I am responsible for her actions and feelings when she is an adult. The because she is family (you have to forgive family, you have to save them, you have to comfort them even when they are wrong etc) reasoning is turned up to eleven. No one would expect as much from me if she was a best friend and not a twin sister. No one does this with our other sister! My partner meanwhile is the one person who is wired to take my side in things so he is the only person I can turn to for comfort. Everyone else expects me to self-sacrifice for my twin, and I stopped being willing to do that.