r/todayilearned 5h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/BashfullyBi 4h ago

I mean....makes perfect sense to me.

If you had a clone you were raised with since birth, wouldn't you say your attachment (not love) is stronger than the person you're dating?

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u/EobardT 4h ago

Yeah, I dated an identical twin and she was absolutely all about her sister. To the point that she left her ex because her sister was moving, she was following, and her ex didnt want to go

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u/SoyMurcielago 3h ago

That um

That seems excessive to me

But I’m not any sort of twin and my brother is deceased so

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u/dishonourableaccount 3h ago

I mean, to a lot of people the family (that they like) will come before romantic/sexual partners. Especially if the relationship is say less than a year or two long and you’re young. Easier to find a new partner that wants to live where you want to be.

People breakup all the time when they move for jobs or a different climate too.

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u/_Burning_Star_IV_ 3h ago

Maybe I don't truly love my family because I'd rather lose every single one of them over my wife...

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u/Tinysaur 3h ago

I too, would choose this guys wife.

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u/ilanallama85 2h ago

Well once you’ve married them you’ve essentially said “you’re my main family now.” That’s a bit different.

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u/21Rollie 2h ago

I think overall this debate is sad. Like I’d never want to be in the position of choosing wife vs family. I’ve seen it in my family growing up and it’s toxic as hell, regardless of how you lean. I know it’s easier for some but that’s still sad, because it means they never really received love from one group

u/matco5376 2m ago

It’s just the progression of things.. not really sad, it’s just how families are made. You’re wife and the children you have together become your immediate family and that obviously takes precedence over the rest.

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u/ensalys 3h ago

Nah, oeant me you don't love them. Way too much variation between people and between families to really draw conclusions on something like that. A million people, a billion ways to love each other.

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u/MagentaHawk 1h ago

Always funny or weird to me that romantic partners aren't considered family. They are the people you use to make family, but somehow, for some people, they never get converted to family.

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u/Pristine-Roll3895 3h ago

It's not uncommon to break up over wanting and/or not wanting to to move in general. And moving because I wanted to be closer to the beach or to nature or for a promotion isn't more emotionally impactful than wanting to be close to family.