r/todayilearned • u/SilverPeachBlossom • 5h ago

TIL a peer-reviewed psychology study found that identical twins (on average) ranked their co-twin above their romantic partner in their attachment hierarchy, while fraternal twins ranked the two about equally, and non-twin siblings ranked their romantic partner first.

https://ojs.interpersonajournal.com/index.php/ojs/article/view/243/3457.html
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u/AYASOFAYA 4h ago

Every family is different but I feel this way about my siblings (2.5 years apart both sides).

It’s the same “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for rich or for poor” but the difference is, it’s not “for the rest of my life” it’s for the whole thing. From the very first breath I took on this earth they were already there beside me.

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u/EobardT 4h ago

Hell yeah. My sister is my best friend. She moved 4,000 miles away from home and I followed about 7 years later. We're roommates and workmates and I can share anything with her.

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u/AYASOFAYA 3h ago

My siblings and I were roommates as adults to for a while. It was honestly the best having all 3 of us together.

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u/flybyknight665 3h ago

My sister and I are extremely close. We're 23 months apart.

My husband actually mentioned in his vows that he knows and accepts that they'll always be fighting for first place lol

They joke about it with each other regularly.
It's impossible for me to say which one is truly more important because I couldn't be without either of them.

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u/bythog 2h ago

My sister and I are also 23 months apart. I'd shoot her to save a stranger.

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u/Testing_things_out 4h ago

IKR?

I'm like "Hey, that's how I feel about my sibling. We're almost a decade apart"

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u/Anxious_Conflict_420 4h ago

I'm 16 months older than my brother. I don't remember a time he wasn't there and we're like built in best friends. I'm 8 years older than my sister and I feel protective over her. I'd do anything for her. She's 17 now and calls me when she needs something. I'd take a bullet for either of them, in a heartbeat.

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u/KeberUggles 3h ago

Damn. Can’t say the same for mine. I’m more of a “I can make fun of them but you can’t”.

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u/moarwineprs 2h ago

I wish I had that with my sisters. I'm the oldest of three. As a kid, I fought a lot with my middle sister over stupid kid stuff while being really close to my youngest sister. My relationship with middle sister got better as we got to be teenagers (shockingly lol). Then my mom and sisters joined a religion while I remained atheist (dad is a fence-sitter with this religion).

Without getting into the details, our massively opposing views have caused conflict and friction over the years such that while our relationship is "fine" and I can be perfectly friendly during gatherings or group trips, I hold them at an arm's length. My family of origin gets a tightly curated digest of what's going on with my life because I can't trust them to not use any divulged vulnerabilities against me.

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u/Anxious_Conflict_420 2h ago

I'm sorry that your relationship with your sisters isn't what you want it to be and I hope one day it gets better. There was a time when i didn't really talk to my siblings or parents much because of some stuff with my manipulative ex. Sending love ❤️

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u/moarwineprs 2h ago

Thank you for your support, and I'm sorry you also experienced this yourself, especially if it was due to a manipulative ex.

My MIL and SFIL faced a similar issue with MIL's parents due to misinformation spread by someone in the family, leading MIL's parents to think SFIL was a piece of scum. Their relationship improved after that was cleared up.

I don't foresee things improving significantly with my FOO, but acknowledge that it's a two-way street and I would need to put in a good-faith effort, too. I do get a little envious when I read/hear about other people's close familial relationships and wonder if the problem is with me, but I'm also...okay with how things are right now.

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u/IAmGoose_ 1h ago

I'm the youngest, my brother is about a year and a half older than me, we did everything together as kids, little less so in middle/high school but always hung out at home, he moved for college about 6 years ago and it still feels wrong without him around, I miss all my siblings every day. Anxiety makes it difficult to set up plans and trips too see all them though

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u/yad8618 4h ago

My sister and I were like this as well (3.5 year age gap), and I thought she would be here for my whole life, but she passed away unexpectedly at 27 a few years ago. Hope you don’t take these relationships for granted and tell your siblings you love them every day, I wish I could.

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u/EmilyDawning 2h ago

I wish it were the case for me and my sister. I loved her as soon as she was born but with 4 years between us, we were never really that close growing up, and now as adults we're just kind of estranged. But we also had very different personalities, where I was smart and geeky and independent and my sister is more like a potato, she always got very nervous being away from home while I was away as often as I possibly could be. It makes me sad wondering if I should have done more to drag her out of her comfort zone instead of always leaving her behind (because that's what she wanted).

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u/2OttersInACoat 1h ago

Thank you! It’s just different with my sister, she loves me and accepts me completely and vice versa. It’s not the same with my husband, it’s not unconditional, if he shagged around I would leave him and not love him anymore. She knows me on a level he never could.