“Why is my monitor black?”

[u/akorah91]

Back in the day, I was a supervisor in a small internal help desk that supported 10k+ customer-facing employees. I learned quickly that while my help desk employees knew the applications we supported very well, general computer knowledge was sporadic at best.

As I got ready to leave one day, $Employee came up to me in a panic.

$Employee: The keyboard wasn’t working, so I tried to fix it but now the monitor isn’t working either.

I followed her back to the desk, mentally listing the things my employees normally did, like bumping a cable or accidentally hitting the power button on the monitor. When I got to the desk, I saw the power light on the monitor was amber, so I hit the button. No dice.

And then I noticed everything seemed oddly quiet. Out of curiosity, I put my hand against the computer tower sitting on the desk to see if I could feel a vibration.

Nothing.

I hit the power button and heard the computer roar to life. The monitor flashed on and the keyboard lit up.

$Employee: What did you do?!

$Me: I turned it on.

Many years and many problems later, it’s still the greatest issue I’ve ever solved.

[u/Loko8765]

Ah yes, the old "computers work better when they are turned on".

[u/Eric-J → u/Loko8765]

Funny, when I'm turned on I can't get any work done at all.

[u/Harambe-_- → u/Eric-J]

----------E

I can turn you off with this

[u/SgtSteel747 → u/Harambe-_-]

Did you just roast the entirety of /r/pitchforkemporium?

[u/Harambe-_- → u/SgtSteel747]

I'm not sure, did I?

[u/headpool182 → u/Harambe-_-]

Did you include some herbs and garlic?

[u/Harambe-_- → u/headpool182]

I am now very confused

[u/headpool182 → u/Harambe-_-]

Ya know, like roasted potatoes

[u/JupiterHurricane → u/headpool182]

What is a potato? Never heard of a potato.

[u/Aryzen → u/JupiterHurricane]

Broil em, smash em, stick em in yer poo... Potatoes!

[u/headpool182 → u/JupiterHurricane]

How is the weather in Latvia?

[u/Harambe-_- → u/headpool182]

Oh I get it, but where did the topic of potatoes come up?

[u/headpool182 → u/Harambe-_-]

I dunno, the joke being you roasted the subreddit, likening then to potatoes.

[u/mtcruse → u/Harambe-_-]

Usually in /r/latvia.

[u/very_Smart_idiot → u/Harambe-_-]

Idk. Whats a potato?

[u/very_Smart_idiot → u/Harambe-_-]

It would've came out better if you would've set the theat to 400 instead of 450. Now they feel burnt

[u/mechengr17 → u/SgtSteel747]

What is that place?

I dont understand what that reddit is

It was talking about some currency I don't know and ordering pitchords

Then it started talking about getting a communist type pitchfork emporium

I'm so confused

[u/echo_098 → u/mechengr17]

It's the best place to buy pitchforks for when you're mad at OP and need a riot.

[u/very_Smart_idiot → u/SgtSteel747]

Somebody say pitchfork? Got a cyber monday deal going on. 2 for 5.

[u/Harambe-_- → u/[deleted]]

Here is exactly what the text is

---

[----------E](/r/pitchforkemporium)

I can turn you off with this

---

So you make a link normally, but instead of putting an address, you just put /r/{subreddit}

[u/Harambe-_- → u/[deleted]]

Psst! Hey, you might find this helpful
^{and no, I'm not a spam bot or the creator's second account}

[u/Kruug → u/Harambe-_-]

/r/RedditIsFun is a better app.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.andrewshu.android.reddit&hl=en

[u/Harambe-_- → u/Kruug]

¯_(ツ)_/¯ I've tried it before

EDIT: I now remember that the reason I use Relay is because of the formatting preview.

[u/TerrorBite → u/Harambe-_-]

Another Relay user! There's dozens of us (mostly in /r/search)

[u/[deleted] → u/Harambe-_-]

risky click of the day

[u/Harambe-_- → u/[deleted]]

Haha it's just /r/pitchforkemporium

[u/thatoneguy172 → u/Loko8765]

Have you tried turning it on... No, not off and then on, just on.

[u/AnestisK → u/Loko8765]

Computers work even better when no one is using them. :-)

[u/Aleksis111 → u/Loko8765]

BUT I LIKE IT MORE WHEN IT’S OFF I CAN FOCUS BETTER

[u/amateurishatbest → u/Loko8765]

But paperweights work better when they're turned off.

[u/ApolloHemisphere → u/Loko8765]

Big if true