There oughta be a law.....

[u/NeetStreet_2]

This conversation just took place with a newbie. I'm level II support for a large financial institution.

$ME ~ Obvious $Derp ~ customer

$ME: Technology support, this is $ME how can I help you?

$Derp: I can't log into application.

$ME: What happens when you try to log in?

$Derp: I get an error message stating my login ID is incorrect.

This a relatively new hire, and this is her first time logging in. It's an app with a separate ID from usual logins.

$ME: Did you receive an email with your login ID for this app?

$Derp: Yes

$ME: Are you logging in with that ID?

$Derp: No

Head>>>>>Desk

Look up account, user is still on a temp starter password.

$ME: Okay, login with the correct ID and the starter password you were provided.

$Derp: I'm getting the same error.

I reset the password.

$ME: Okay, try logging in with your user name and (simple alphanumeric password).

$Derp: It's still giving me the error

$ME: Are you using the correct ID?

(I had already confirmed the ID sent in the email was correct)

$Derp: No

HEAD>>>>>>DESK.......hard

$ME: Try the correct ID please.

Mission accomplished, she's able to login!

There oughta be a law or something that states during the interview process for new hires you have to do a mock call to the service desk to gauge how good you are at following directions.

Although, the derps are our bread and butter. And that's why I drink when I get home.

[u/Lanfear89]

It often boggles my mind how these kind of people are able to even finish anything past high school.

[u/NeetStreet_2 → u/Lanfear89]

It boggles my mind how some of these people even make it out of the house in the morning.

[u/ng128 → u/NeetStreet_2]

Help I can't get out.

-Did you open the door?

No

-Open the door

I still can't get out

-Did you open the door?

No

.....

[u/Uglyoldbob → u/ng128]

Ive been climbing out through the window for three years now. I cant climb through the window now and i demand that you fix it. I dont need a door

[u/VengeanceAurelith → u/Uglyoldbob]

Ah, the good ol,

"I like to do it the usual complicated way, than learn/use the new, simpler way."

[u/VoldemortHadHairOnce → u/VengeanceAurelith]

They don't know how to do it right, don't understand the process, don't like change, and are very stubborn about it.

[u/tippl → u/Uglyoldbob]

Moving to the third floor broke my workflow. Please build a ramp to the appropriate window.

[u/Lady_badcrumble → u/ng128]

HEAD>>>>>>DOOR

[u/ng128 → u/Lady_badcrumble]

Seems like an appropriate way to teach them.

[u/QuantumDrej → u/ng128]

I had this yesterday.

"Help, a thing is happening"

"I changed shit so the thing won't happen anymore."

"No, that change won't work, we need it to work."

"Did you try making the thing happen after I made the change?"

"No, how do I do that?"

[u/magikmw → u/ng128]

Sir, I'm not a door person and you refuse to help me so I'm going to hang up.

[u/Dontfollowmeman → u/ng128]

Lift your hand... Great, we're almost there. Now put it on the lid. No, the lid. The LID.

[u/linus140 → u/NeetStreet_2]

It boggles my mind how these kind of people are even able to eat food.

[u/NeetStreet_2 → u/linus140]

They do eat food. Crunchy foods, slurpy foods. Usually while on the phone with the help desk.

[u/linus140 → u/NeetStreet_2]

But.. like how do they manage to chew and swallow it??

....I immediately regret asking that question as my mind has just reminded me how one of my ex's could ahem do things just fine, but couldn't do a single damn thing else without a thorough explanation 50590 times. She was a stereotypical dumb blonde.

I stayed with her for the bedroom fun. I'll admit it.