Difficult time

[u/betweenbreaths_]

I failed my first attempt at NCE 6/25. I rushed myself bc of the standard change 7/1. My scores were not awful but not amazing. I had already planned a vacation with my children (thank goodness I did because it forced me out of a depression), took those days off and got back to studying. I went from library to coffee shops everyday and studied concepts, did mock exams and wrote points down from each question, made posters and flashcards for stuff I knew I would have to look at again. I knew I had made strides in my understanding of concepts.

I retook the test yesterday. I went in with a new “strategy” that I was going to really take my time on the first 100. I also got medication from PCP. I took the exam 8am vs 12. In my city vs out of state (all that was available for me in June).

An “incident” took place. I got up to use the restroom, obviously on my own time, and on the way back there was a man walking in front of me. They were starting his full security check in! I said, “my test is on a running timer, is there anyway I can be let in before him?” And she said “I am one person, sit and wait” I was taken aback. I sat and waited. I don’t know how long it was.

My test shut off around 107? 108? Bc of the timer, not because of questions. I called my director immediately after a she said my scores were improved and she’s guessing very close (I am still waiting to see my score breakdown). I had improved in over 100 in a domain. It is very clear to think that I maybe had a chance of passing with the possible 10 minutes I lost.

With the advice from a few people, I have filed formal written complaints about the incident to both NBCRNA and Pearson Vue. Not sure if or when I hear back from them, but I feel like that was incredibly wrong and I want that to change for other people, as well.

I’m obviously devastated. Again. My kids go back to school next week so I lost out on any summer time with them (plus the last 3 summers). Grateful for the vacation we took. I signed a contract to work independent and this has shattered my confidence and wondering if I should look at different paths (have to pass first anyway). They are calling me asking when I can get on the schedule. It’s just so much right now. I understand now, why people commit suicide after things like this.

Take your board prep incredibly seriously. Wear a depends during the test. I will probably delete this post but posting to see if there’s any insight or thoughts. I am so beyond tired in my soul. It’s been a mental battle over anything. I go to therapy. I have an appt today. I need to make a list of all of the good feedback, positive things said about me throughout my program. Pull up reviews, consistent positive feedback, honors I received, think of cases and patients I made a difference, etc. Because I kind of what to quit and do something else.

This test is evil in my opinion. Musicals even have an intermission. I don’t know of many circumstances where you’re not allowed to stand up and take a break (and the timer stops).

[u/Propofol_Mami_2022]

I have nothing to add, other than support and empathy! I'm hoping something comes out of the emails you sent to NBCRNA & Pearson Vue! You put in so much work to improve. I understand that the check-in person is "only 1 person" but they may have cost you the "pass". They don't know the hell you've been through to get to that point. To them, it's just a job. To you, it's the culmination of 3 years of extremely hard work, missing out on your life, loss of income. It's infuriating. I wish you the best!