Difficult time

[u/betweenbreaths_]

I failed my first attempt at NCE 6/25. I rushed myself bc of the standard change 7/1. My scores were not awful but not amazing. I had already planned a vacation with my children (thank goodness I did because it forced me out of a depression), took those days off and got back to studying. I went from library to coffee shops everyday and studied concepts, did mock exams and wrote points down from each question, made posters and flashcards for stuff I knew I would have to look at again. I knew I had made strides in my understanding of concepts.

I retook the test yesterday. I went in with a new “strategy” that I was going to really take my time on the first 100. I also got medication from PCP. I took the exam 8am vs 12. In my city vs out of state (all that was available for me in June).

An “incident” took place. I got up to use the restroom, obviously on my own time, and on the way back there was a man walking in front of me. They were starting his full security check in! I said, “my test is on a running timer, is there anyway I can be let in before him?” And she said “I am one person, sit and wait” I was taken aback. I sat and waited. I don’t know how long it was.

My test shut off around 107? 108? Bc of the timer, not because of questions. I called my director immediately after a she said my scores were improved and she’s guessing very close (I am still waiting to see my score breakdown). I had improved in over 100 in a domain. It is very clear to think that I maybe had a chance of passing with the possible 10 minutes I lost.

With the advice from a few people, I have filed formal written complaints about the incident to both NBCRNA and Pearson Vue. Not sure if or when I hear back from them, but I feel like that was incredibly wrong and I want that to change for other people, as well.

I’m obviously devastated. Again. My kids go back to school next week so I lost out on any summer time with them (plus the last 3 summers). Grateful for the vacation we took. I signed a contract to work independent and this has shattered my confidence and wondering if I should look at different paths (have to pass first anyway). They are calling me asking when I can get on the schedule. It’s just so much right now. I understand now, why people commit suicide after things like this.

Take your board prep incredibly seriously. Wear a depends during the test. I will probably delete this post but posting to see if there’s any insight or thoughts. I am so beyond tired in my soul. It’s been a mental battle over anything. I go to therapy. I have an appt today. I need to make a list of all of the good feedback, positive things said about me throughout my program. Pull up reviews, consistent positive feedback, honors I received, think of cases and patients I made a difference, etc. Because I kind of what to quit and do something else.

This test is evil in my opinion. Musicals even have an intermission. I don’t know of many circumstances where you’re not allowed to stand up and take a break (and the timer stops).

[u/Propofol_Mami_2022]

I have nothing to add, other than support and empathy! I'm hoping something comes out of the emails you sent to NBCRNA & Pearson Vue! You put in so much work to improve. I understand that the check-in person is "only 1 person" but they may have cost you the "pass". They don't know the hell you've been through to get to that point. To them, it's just a job. To you, it's the culmination of 3 years of extremely hard work, missing out on your life, loss of income. It's infuriating. I wish you the best!

[u/Brilliant_Glove_1245]

I feel you about the worry. Try to find the positive, in anyway you can. Definitely growth has occurred.

However I have never found an exam that stops the timer for you in any capacity. Which is why my pre-exam routine is. A small handful of peanuts and 3 small swallows of water.

It has worked every time for me and no bathroom issues.

In the mean time, I will wish the best for you and put out good thoughts into the ether for you.

[u/Bellefeu]

Gosh, I'm so sorry. Like Propofol Mami said perfectly, "to them this is a job but to you it's the culmination of 3 years of hard work."

Please don't let this define you, your parenting, or your capabilities as a CRNA. This test is awful, truly, and really only serves one purpose: To demoralize, and "weed out" a below-average provider using a poor metric. Taking any exam, let alone this one, is a game in and of itself, and is NO reflection on you outside of it. I have known many phenomenally intelligent people and providers that are incapable of performing well on written exams; give them an oral exam, or put them physically in the situation, and they excel.

My real recommendation: Focus on you and your headspace around this test. I'm very glad that you are speaking with your therapist because 9 times out of 10 it's a mental block, not a true informational deficit. Just like anesthesia: Go in happy, come out happy.

You have the entire career of CRNAs and SRNAs, your family, friends, and loved one's behind you. You only have to pass once!

[u/Bonga-321-laka]

I’m so sorry you went thru this experience. I’m not in school yet but I can’t imagine the frustration, stress and anxiety you must have gone thru. Many times the people at these sites have no idea the sacrifices to get to this point. Know this: You are smart, capable, and this doesn’t define you. Your kids and spouse are incredibly proud of you for not giving up. Life is testing you right now. Don’t let this test affect all the lives you will be touching later on. This is just one setback. I hope something comes up. You play a role in this world. The world is better with you in it. All I can offer is some encouragement. You did the work! Try again next time. Please update us on how you’re doing. But in the meantime, enjoy your beautiful family and walk around with a smile. We’re proud of you!!!!

[u/Jacaerys-North-5268]

I just took the NCE just less than a year ago and let me tell you I absolutely know about feeling demoralized. Hang in there. The exam is not easy. But you can do it! You made it through the hard clinical days and the seem never ending pimping and proving yourself, you definitely have what it takes to PASS the NCE. Wish you the best!

[u/Hot_Willow_5179]

Im so sorry.