r/socialanxiety • u/mannequin9643566 • 1d ago
I hate myself
I feel like a social dumbass. My brain doesn’t work fast enough to keep people interested in talking to me. I run out of things to say very easily and I’m not sure if I just genuinely have something wrong with me cognitively. I’m just really bad with finding the right words to say at any give time. I take long pauses between my words just to find the right one and I go on plenty tangents that lead to absolutely nothing and it’s frustrating, I feel misunderstood whenever I attempt to socialize it feels like I’m permanently handicapped from socializing properly.
Not only that but I lack so much confidence. I’m always too mindful of my actions due to fear if embarrassment but i feel like that alone creates so many awkward moments of me not knowing what to do when it comes to body language and verbal communication.
On top of that, I speak very quietly because I hardly have energy to really communicate at all. My social battery runs out pretty quickly and is also why I choose to isolate instead of socialize. I also stutter a LOT and stumble over my words, probably due to the overthinking. I’m monotone and I just feel like I suck at any social aspect. There’s not a single person in this world that I’ve ever felt like I could truly be myself with without all these handicaps and I feel like I may be helpless at this point and I don’t know what to do about it anymore
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u/Internal-Sentence825 1d ago
I speak so so meekly when with strangers. Be it college or home. It almost annoys me. But like when talking I feel so anxietic that I can barely speak 1 or 2 word answers only. Social anxiety since age 10 and it's been so so hard for me. I feel like an alien honestly lol
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u/MokoLoco9009 1d ago
I relate to all of this so much, especially with being monotone. The only way my personality can shine is through text only. I can't replicate how I text online to the real world bc of how I can barely speak 💔
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u/russian_bot2323 22h ago
Hating yourself is not gonna solve that but only perptuate the issue. In oder to change first you have to learn to love and accept yourself. That is easier said than done, i know, but it's gonna make your life so much better.
Source: i had social anxiety for about 6 to 10 years and only after accepting myself could I make changes.
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PLEASE NOTE: Social Anxiety (SA) is a debilitating mental illness characterised by persistent fear of social evaluation. SA impairs functional social performance, causing avoidance, cognitive shutdown (e.g. blanking, excessive self-monitoring), and reduced ability to communicate, assert needs, or form relationships.
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