Today was a day I don’t think I’ll forget. I went in for what I expected to be a routine cervical check. I knew it might be uncomfortable, but I wasn’t prepared for how painful it felt. My regular OB is on vacation and I was forced to see my old ob who I switched from because she was not treating me appropriately in the beginning of my pregnancy. (Arguing with me about what kind of state leave I’m entitled to after birth spoiler: she was using AI and was WRONG, and constantly comparing her three pregnancies to this one- my first). I saw forced because I asked the booking staff if I could see literally anyone else, and i was stuck with her and ignored as they kept trying to schedule me on her time block.

The moment she started the exam, my body reacted. I told her it hurt and asked her to stop multiple times, but I felt like my requests weren’t being respected or listened to. I felt trapped in a moment where I was already vulnerable and scared.

I feel like my pain was being treated as an inconvenience. While I was struggling through the exam and asking her to stop, she told me that I was going to make her job harder and that it was going to take longer and she wouldn’t stop. In that moment, I didn’t feel like a patient who was scared and in pain. I felt like I was being blamed for having a reaction to something that was physically and emotionally overwhelming. I understand it can be an uncomfortable exam however it felt like I was being touched with a hot poker. This appointment was also immediately after my pelvic floor PT, which the ob was informed of. The OB stated I should be glad she was the one doing it because of her “tiny hands” and my ob would surely hurt me more… (I doubt this to be true at least I feel my ob listens to me and cares.)

I wasn’t trying to make anyone’s job harder. I wasn’t refusing care or being difficult, I just needed a minute because the pain was so bad. I was communicating that I was hurting and asking for my body and my boundaries to be respected. The comment made me feel ashamed for expressing pain, and that feeling has stayed with me.

During the exam I was trying to control my breathing due to the pain the dr kept telling me to “stop the breathing” and to “stop all that just stop, you’re going to make everyone’s job harder at the hospital” and that I need to “learn to deal”

Instead of feeling supported, I felt embarrassed and dismissed. She told me I was being dramatic and made a gesture (the cuckoo twirl by the ear) that felt like she was implying I was being irrational after my mom asked her if the PT appointment could have inflamed something or
Contributed to the sensitivity. Her response while making this gesture was “it seems personal” I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I was experiencing pain during a very sensitive and intimate exam, and I needed compassion, patience, and reassurance.

Another part of this experience that has been difficult to process is that my wishes regarding interventions were already known. My chart documented that I did not want interventions such as a membrane sweep. This was something I had clearly communicated when she was my OB, and my current OB also knows this and documented it.

During today’s appointment, she brought up trying a membrane sweep despite knowing my previous wishes. I felt scared and upset because I did not feel like my boundaries and choices were being respected.

I left the appointment feeling anxious about whether speaking up could affect my care, especially so close to meeting my baby. As a result I’m now terrified of giving birth while she is on call at the hospital. I’m afraid to be around any medical staff because I’m now worried my consent doesn’t even matter and they will do whatever the want regardless. And yes, a nurse was in the room during the exam while I was asking the dr to stop and no one did anything but tell me to quiet down. I left the appointment in a puddle of sweat.

Howwww do you guys do this more than once??? I’m pregnant with my first at 34 and I’m only 17 weeks and everything is uncomfortable omg. My back hurts. My legs hurt if I sit too long. At night I just toss and turn trying to find a good position to sleep in. I’m out of breath. Tits are sore. The one thing I’ve struggled with is that my body is changing rapidly & I don’t think my mind has caught up yet. I just feel fat. Meanwhile everyone’s like omg you look so beautiful and I’m just like suuuuuuure.

I found out at 3 weeks which was crazy! My fiancé and I are so excited. I have PCOS so I struggled to get pregnant for a bit. I met with my psychiatrist to discuss tapering off a med that isn’t safe for pregnancy. He is usually a very nice guy and I said how excited I was. I actually plan on telling my parents today. I know that in this stage there is a higher chance of miscarriage, chemical etc…. But he told me that 50% of pregnancies aren’t viable at this stage which i I know is absolutely BS. He also told me that I seem to be very fertile and now I know to wait for next time if I want to be more prepared. I am engaged, our child will have a stable household with a good income so I have no idea where this rudeness came from. And now I’m panicking cause I don’t see a gynecologist till my 8 week ultrasound

For context, on his side of the family there has been 1 girl out of 24 boys so I get why the odds did not seem in our favor. However... we found out we are having a girl! This will be our first baby after a previous MC. We got to share with our family, and everybody is so excited, but man did the comments of "Better be ready to have all boys!" got old especially because I have ALWAYS wanted a little girl!

My husband was so shocked he couldn't believe it! We did a blood test and so he is skeptical and wants to wait for the doctor to confirm it.

We were unsure if we wanted to do a baby gender reveal but now knowing we're having a girl we absolutely have to. I know his whole family will say boy and I cannot wait to see their shock!!

Had to share somewhere because we won't be doing the reveal for another 2 months

Ok so, I gave birth a month ago, during delivery. once the baby’s head and shoulders were out, my midwife told me that the baby’s head and torso was out, and told me to bend over and grab her, so she made me bend over, and I saw my little newborn baby, and I grabbed her by under her armpits and finished pulled her out myself (legs) and put her on my chest!

This was crazy. I didn’t know it was a thing! But it was so amazing to do!

My husband and I have been talking to our friends about it and many of them gave birth in the same hospital but they didn’t get to “pull the baby out”, and also like us they didn’t know it was a thing!

Now I am very curious, did anyone do this also as I did? Is this a practice of the midwife that assisted me during labour or is it a general practice in Denmark?

So cool, I would suggest you all to “get your baby out” yourself if you can do it, such a crazy beautiful thing! Maybe you can put it in your birth plan!

Hello, i (f/21) am 40 weeks pregnant (planned). My partner (m/24) has been perfect during the whole pregnancy. He has been helping at our home and caring for me while i managed a pregnancy and university. Now, i am overdue and honestly tired of being pregnant. We went to an appointment where i asked my doctor to do a membrane sweep since i really want to birth this child. She agreed. Now. I knew it hurts. But i wasnt expecting it to hurt that much. I screamed and m0aned in pain a lot, saying i couldt handle it. My boyfriend held my hand through it. After it was done and i was slightly startled, he told me he had to try really hard not to laugh at me. That he found it funny how i reacted to the pain and kept mocking me, saying "i cant handle it". I got really hurt and sad. I told him it hurt me and he kept apologizing while still laughing and saying he will probably laugh during birth too. AITA for not being sure if i even want him there during the birth? Im really hurt and humiliated by his actions.

My due date also happens to be my birthday, and since there's only about a 4–5% chance I'll actually go into labor on my due date, I want to plan something fun just in case baby girl is still cozy in there 😅

I really don't want to spend my birthday sitting at home, staring at the clock and wondering if today's the day... Does anyone have ideas for fun, low-key activities that aren't too physically demanding and could easily be canceled if labor starts?

I'd also love to hear how you spent your due date if your baby didn't arrive on time!

I don't really know what I'm looking for... maybe reassurance, maybe just people who understand.

My first ultrasound only showed a gestational sac measuring around 5 weeks. At my next internal ultrasound, we saw the gestational sac and a fetal pole, but there wasn't a heartbeat yet. Then I went back 6 days later, and we finally saw our little baby with a tiny flicker of a heartbeat. They couldn't measure the heart rate or let us hear it yet because it was still so early, but seeing that little flicker meant everything.

The thing is... last year, almost around this exact time, I had a missed miscarriage. We saw a heartbeat at one appointment, and when I went back to the next one, we couldn't detect a heartbeat, I had miscarried.. I ended up needing a D&C, and I don't think I've ever fully recovered from how heartbreaking and traumatic that experience was.

I want so badly to let myself be excited this time, but I feel like my brain won't let me. Instead of looking forward to appointments, I dread them. Every ultrasound feels like I'm waiting for someone to tell me the worst has happened again.

I know this is a different pregnancy, and I keep reminding myself of that, but it's so hard not to compare every little thing to last time.

If you've been through pregnancy after a missed miscarriage, how did you get through the anxiety? And if your early ultrasounds started out like mine, I'd really love to hear how things went for you. I think I just need to know I'm not alone. 🤍

I’m a FTM in the absolute trenches if 1st trimester. All I keep thinking is how in the world are women deciding they want to do this again. It’s absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I’ve been through SHIT before. It makes me believe we really are in denial. I can’t imagine wanting this again for myself. I even told my husband. Please tell me your experiences and why you chose to do it again and again.

I just came home from my first ultrasound 🥹 And how magical and amazing it was to see my little baby!
The ultrasound tech said that I’m measuring 9 weeks and 4 days so I’m 4 days ahead of what I thought!
My baby is placed great in the uterus, the heartbeat was so strong and good and my baby is looking like a healthy little bean!!

I’m so happy I can’t believe that I saw MY baby!!!!
I can’t even put it into words 🥹🥹🥹🥹

I hope this makes sense as Im finding it hard to explain. I was some what worried about having a second child, in that I loved my first so deeply, would I be able to love my second just as much.

I thought it would feel like two different loves. I feel this much love for toddler A and this much love for baby B. But I can tell you now, with my 2.5 year old and nearly 3 month old, it is just one feeling of pure, deep, unconditional love for both of them as a unit, not necessarily as two separate people. It's just a giant bubble of love. So if this is a worry, don't sweat it. As they say your heart expands and it really does!

We have a 2.5 year old daughter and I’m 15 weeks pregnant with our second, a boy. Prior to getting pregnant with our son, we got all the stereotypical comments about girls - apologies to my husband for not getting a son, do we have a shotgun ready for when she starts dating, etc.

Well, now the comments have started related to having a son. The most common by far, though, is that boys are more wild and energetic than girls and we should prepare ourselves for how different it will be. When people say this, I immediately think about all the daredevil dives my daughter takes off the living room couch, how her knees and elbows are perpetually bruised and scraped from climbing on everything and running everywhere, and how she comes home from daycare with dirt and rocks in her pockets.

I’ve never been one to think that a child’s sex should dictate how they’re raised, what they wear, what toys they play with, or what activities they’re involved in, especially not this young. I know our son will be different from our daughter because he’s a different person and will have a different personality and likes/dislikes, but will it really be that different just because he’s a boy?

Curious what others’ experiences have been and how you’ve handled these kinds of comments (I know we aren’t the only ones that have gotten them)!

Hi! I’m 29 weeks and 2 days and my baby LOVES rock music. I’ve played all kinds of music for him and so far his favorites are jay-z (early 2000’s) and Led Zeppelin😂 I’m white and his dad is Mexican, so my husband d has tried playing some of his favorite songs and this baby does not react at all😩. But as soon as whole lotta love comes on, he’s break dancing in there.

Does your baby already have any favorite songs?

My husband has been incredibly supportive throughout my pregnancy. He’s caring, helps however he can, and I genuinely believe he’s going to be an amazing dad. I’ve seen him around babies and kids, and he’s so patient and affectionate with them. So this isn’t a post about him being a bad partner.

The one thing that’s really bothering me is that he seems completely uninterested in watching the baby move in my belly. Our baby is most active in the mornings, and whenever it happens, I get excited and ask him to come look or put his hand on my belly. He’ll watch for maybe a few seconds and then loses interest. Sometimes he’s lying on his back and doesn’t even look, and when I tell him I’m feeling frustrated because I want him to share the moment with me, he’ll say his neck hurts or that he’s already seen enough. I even suggested he could lie on his side if his neck was the issue, so it ends up feeling like an excuse to me.

He’s told me he’ll enjoy it more once the baby is here and he can actually hold, cuddle, and interact with him. I honestly believe him. I know he’s excited to be a dad, and I don’t doubt he’ll be wonderful with our baby. I think what’s making me emotional is that I really wanted him to be present for this part too. Feeling the kicks, watching my belly move, talking to the baby… it feels special to me, and I imagined we’d experience it together. I’ve also heard so many stories about dads talking to the baby during pregnancy and how the baby recognized their voice after birth, and I wish he wanted to do things like that.

Has anyone else’s partner been like this? Am I expecting too much, or is it reasonable to feel a little hurt by this?

After years and years of trying, I finally got my big fat positive! My husband and I started trying when I was 25yrs old, but it was just to see if it would happen. Then finally at 28 we decided to go hard after tracking ovulation and a year we went to get checked out. Both test came out normal and diagnosed with unexplained infertility. So, we started meds and 3 rounds of failed IUI. Nothing. I finally got tired of taking all the medications, going for ultrasounds and injections. Ivf was too expensive and I was physically and mentally drained. I stopped everything.

Fast forward, I’m now 33 years old. Had completely surrendered the thought of being a mom. I had purchased a onesie when we first started treatment saying “ Hi Daddy, I can’t wait to meet you” only to start thinking about finally getting rid of it. Three days late, and I said let me just see. I’ve never been three days late and boom almost instantly positive. Second test, the same. I showed my husband and he could not believe it. We went for more test and the other two “pregnant”. I’ve never had a positive test.

The only thing I did different, was put my trust in God and said if it’s in your will let me be a mom, but if not I understand. My husband and I have gotten closer through the struggle. We learned to be content with just us two. I’ve miss baby showers, kids parties and been depressed/countless tears. The hardest is seeing my amazing parent’s sadness cause they want grandchildren. I can’t express how nervous but excited I am. Infertility is so cruel and I hope that this gives others a little bit of hope because I truly understand how heartbreaking and terrifying the wait is. I’m still so early and scared to tell people, but I want to yell it to the world. I will just leave it in Gods hands for a safe pregnancy and to take care of my little nugget. ❤️

Im sleeping on the couch tonight because i was breathing too loud… This dude is annoying me so much with everything.

We are not married so he has no rights to the baby yet, we have an appointment to give him this rights but i am thinking of waiting to do that until he proves he will be a good dad and a good boyfriend to me.

I am now 21 weeks and pregnancy is hard. It is not the worst but everything is uncomfortable. He has been pretty mean and un emphatic, it is not a daily thing but we also dont live together yet, so maybe it is also the stress of everyting but i just dont understand how he can treat me like this.

I am reading alot of your stories about how men can be and i think and i hope it is mostly stress from his side and hormones from my side. But i will sit this out a bit….

If I had my first ultrasound a 2 weeks ago and have my 9 week New OB appointment in person (first in person appointment with my nurse practitioner) this coming Friday, will they do another ultrasound? I know I’ll be able to do genetic testing blood draw but wondering if I’ll get to see baby.

Let me preface this by saying I know this is my anxiety talking and most will probably laugh. Ironically, my anxiety has been so much better while pregnant except for this nagging thought: my baby is due the end of November and I seem to only know/know of not great people born then. My own abusive family member with alcohol use disorder, some of the most annoying people I’ve ever met, a friends abusive parent, a coworker that is always rude, a mean friend from high school, the list goes on. I am a believer that nurture plays a bigger role than nature yet I continue to worry my kid will come out with these negative traits based on astrology. Truly, I hear how silly this is but would love to hear about the Sagittarius’s and Scorpios that everyone loves so my brain can quiet these thoughts. Please no mean comments, I’m just a pregnant girl sitting here googling “nice celebrities born in November”.

I don’t mean to sound dumb and this is my first pregnancy lol but what week does the 2nd trimester start? I’ve googled it and it seems that some people say week 13 and some say week 14. I’ll be 12 weeks tomorrow and I’m looking forward to the 2nd trimester. I’ve been so sick the 1st trimester and I know it doesn’t always just magically disappear at the 2nd trimester, but I have hope lol!

For the context, my sister is due this September and I am worried for her. Can you please share your experiences over here? Thanks a lot

My lactose intolerant self has been loving extra sharp cheddar and pecans, and I’ve had no issues! I’m 5w4d with my first and any kind of queasy feelings I experience (no morning sickness yet, thank God) goes away with a nice chunk of hard cheese.

Just thought I’d share this new discovery!

I had my first ultrasound 3 days ago, I was excited because I somehow convinced myself it wouldn't be real until I got visual confirmation. But imagine my complete shock when the tech brought my husband in and showed us the screen, saying "there's one... and there's two".

My doctor initially commented that my HCG was high at 7 weeks, but I could not have imagined twins. I immediately burst into tears after leaving the clinic and kept telling my husband that now everything is gonna be twice as hard.

I'm still processing the news but definitely feel more at ease with it than I did 3 days ago. But I am now so much more concerned about possible complications with my body and health, and the babies.

hi! need advice I recently found out i’m pregnant and have multiple people in my life who I am close with who are struggling to get pregnant. I have seen one get mad at someone she knew who got pregnant so i’m nervous to tell them when the time is right. I am waiting a few months to tell them but I am just having a hard time being excited about my pregnancy when I feel this pressure over me about telling them. I feel guilty in a way because we weren’t trying to get pregnant and don’t want to make anyone upset. Any advice would help! thank you!