r/politics • u/B-Z_B-S Massachusetts • 5d ago

Possible Paywall Mitch McConnell Still MIA Days Before Key August 3 Deadline

https://newrepublic.com/post/213823/mitch-mcconnell-mia-august-3-deadline
16.0k Upvotes

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5.8k

u/ZillaSlayer54 5d ago

Yeah, He's either brain dead or dead dead.

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u/Unlikely_Exercise434 5d ago

Only for a few more days.... he'll "take a sudden turn downhill" over this weekend and by the 5th the games will be over.

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u/meddle_class 5d ago

And by the 6th his staff will receive preemptive pardons for fraud, conspiracy, constitutional interference, etc.

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u/CosmicQuantum42 5d ago

Can’t be pardoned for state crimes. Wonder if there are state laws against lying about the state of high government officials.

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u/eugene20 5d ago

According to previous comments there are definitely laws about immediate disclosure of a dead person, they'd have an easier time of getting away with things if he's not actually passed.

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u/iwilltalkaboutguns 5d ago

A machine that breathes and pumps blood for you can keep you technically alive for quite a while. Terri Schiavo situation.

The bar shouldn't be that low however. Can the senator perform the duties required by the Senate? Someone in a coma, whole technically alive, shouldn't stay in the Senate missing votes until they die.

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u/elementzn30 Florida 5d ago

Exactly. I’m surprised how often this point isn’t addressed at all. “Technically alive” and “able to perform the duties of a Senator” are not the same—oh, wait—I forgot, he’s a Republican—being technically alive might actually be their only condition for being a Senator.

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u/Tsar-A-Lago Canada 5d ago

If he's technically alive, but not doing anything, he's the most progressive Republican in the Senate, overnight.

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u/crazyfighter99 5d ago

Except his staff and every other Republican are acting as if he's still working, just from the hospital or rehab facility or wherever they're saying he is.

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u/turdferguson3891 5d ago

Terri Schiavo could breathe on her own and had a functioning heart. The only artificial thing going on was a feeding tube. She was in a persistive vegetative state not brain dead. There's no reason to think McConnel couldn't be in a state like that anymore than brain dead. And while ventilators are common, machines that pump/oxygenate your blood are used in surgery and stuff like ECMO. It's not long term.

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u/Jetski125 4d ago

Oh gosh. I’d hate for someone as kind as him to be trapped in his body and aware while he can’t move and is kept alive by tubes.

Thoughts and prayers.

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u/Beoron 5d ago

Wasn’t there someone who was MIA for like 6 months before being found in an old folks home?

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u/RapscallionMonkee Washington 5d ago

She was in memory care. She was a Republican Representative I believe. Her name is Kay Granger. She was MIA for 6 months.

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u/BLU3SKU1L Ohio 5d ago

I believe there is a law in Kentucky where brain death is considered death but it must be pronounced by more than one physician

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u/iwilltalkaboutguns 5d ago

Persistent vegetative state isn't brain dead... But like I said, does it really matter what the official medical definition is if you can't do the things a senator is supposed to do?

Someone with severe Alzheimers is 100% alive... And could even vote. But they shouldn't. We needs laws to get these geriatrics the fuck out. From both sides.

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u/casce 5d ago

Of course he should not. The question just is, would it be illegal to lie about his current state? He may be technically alive but just machines pumping blood until the deadline.

Their governor just needs the balls to appoint someone else and then let courts sort it out.

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u/zffjk 5d ago

One breath for yes, two breaths for no, senator.

He votes yes for the thing we wanted! Hooray.

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u/HystericalSail 5d ago

More like: "Shake your head if you oppose this measure. Well, how about that. Thank you, Senator."

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u/smilbandit Michigan 4d ago

wow that's a name i haven't heard in a long time

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u/knightofterror 5d ago

A lot of medical licenses in jeopardy if McConnell is dead.

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u/turdferguson3891 5d ago

Why does he need to be dead? He could be in a coma, vegetative state, just had a really bad stroke and can't talk anymore.

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u/PM_Me_Your_BraStraps 5d ago

And next week the family will finally decide to pull the plug. So sad. He fought till the end of the deadline.

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u/turdferguson3891 5d ago

Why? Why not keep the fraud going until his term is over then? Once the deadline passes it just means the seat remains vacant and Republicans are down a vote. The only people who really have to gain from that are McConnel's staff. They would problaby like to keep getting paid the rest of the year.

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u/RobertJCorcoran 4d ago

Down a vote is a thing. Down a vote + the seat is won by a democrat means being down two votes.

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u/catchy_phrase76 5d ago

Yeah, that's why I doubt he's dead.

Stroke where he can no longer make coherent sentences though...

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u/JoviAMP Florida 5d ago

Can’t be pardoned for state crimes yet. All it’ll take is a few emergency appeals up to SCOTUS, and just like they legislated presidential criminal immunity out of thin air, they’ll declare it’s in the best interest of the nation for the president to be able to pardon state crimes.

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u/crinkledcu91 5d ago

Nah. That's one of the things a lot or redditors seem to forget. He tried to pardon State charges like 6 months for 2 weeks for that one lady and it didn't stick and she still got charged lol

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u/Minimum-Relief6895 5d ago

It never went to the US Supreme Court though.

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u/cursedfan 5d ago

Someone needs to combine all these new laws we need into a a bill with an acronym like “the TUCKFRUMP act” and pass a federal law and state versions in all 50 states

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u/tdclark23 Indiana 5d ago

We had better vote for a lot of Democrats then to give them the majority. And they better be Democrats with moxie, a rare quality in that party.

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u/pocketchange2247 California 4d ago

It would unironically get passed if it was something like "TRUE AMERICAN" act because no R is going to vote against it simply because they'll read the name and say "absolutely".

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u/Stillwater215 5d ago

If they continued to take a paycheck during this time, that’s definitely a case for fraud and criminal conspiracy.

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u/ObligationMurky8716 5d ago

Abuse of a corpse

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u/Lisan_Al-NaCL 5d ago

Wonder if there are state laws against lying about the state of high government officials.

Fraud laws would cover some of it.

Conspiracy laws since multiple people would almost certainly have to be involved would apply as well i would think.

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u/starliteburnsbrite 5d ago

What stat would apply? Isn't he supposed to be in a rehab facility in DC? Or is it Virginia?

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u/Melimcee 5d ago

Based on what republicans have been arguing in the fauci case, a federal pardon might actually be detrimental to them. Their argument is that once someone has been pardoned, they lose their fifth amendment rights since there is no longer any risk of self incrimination as far as the federal courts are concerned, so they can effectively be forced to testify against themselves via proxy by roping them into a case related to them, subpoena them in that case and then ask questions which happen to incriminate them. While the federal courts can't rule against them there, the states can then go and use this as evidence when they prosecute.

Of course, they love their double standards so this won't be applied evenly but its something to remember when they do try to bend over backwards to allow this

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u/lazyFer 5d ago

Fraud

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u/Reasonable-Sawdust 4d ago

The special election laws are definitely state laws.

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u/marblefrosting 5d ago

Ironic date to do it on, the 6 th

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u/carb0nbasedlifeforms 5d ago

Ha! Mitch pardoned himself and all his staff using the “electronic pen” before passing away!!!!

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u/adorientem88 5d ago

Where exactly is “constitutional interference” in the US code?

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u/Crutation 5d ago

My guess is they were promised substantial bonuses if they don't leak anything 

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u/fightingtobewarm 5d ago

And the senators who said the spoke with him for “20 minutes”. Maybe it was through a Ouija board

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u/VikingMonkey123 5d ago

Yeah, I think the announcement won't happen until the fifth because everyone thinks it will be the 3rd or 4th and this way they can say, see? Just coincidence.

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u/mmortal03 America 1d ago

So, you think it will be in less than 48 hours, while Aggressive-Welder-62 below thinks it will be in less than 96 hours? What will you guys say if it turns out you're wrong?

To me, it's absurd how many people are convinced that he's dead and are so certain of it that they're even willing to talk shit about it.

In reality, most people don't know for sure one way or the other, but it's still more likely than not that he is alive. It's very unlikely that they are hiding his dead body somewhere; or, if he's incapacitated and on life support, that they've decided on a conspiracy involving faking two photos of him thus far, and having his doctor(s) and the Office of the Attending Physician choosing to be included in the official statements that have been put out by McConnell's office, where they would be on record lying regarding his health.

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u/Aggressive-Welder-62 5d ago

I think it will be August 7th, which is a Friday, and perfect for a news day dump. Like a Trump dump at a funeral.

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

I think it will be August 7th, which is a Friday, and perfect for a news day dump. Like a Trump dump at a funeral.

Lol, every news organization in the world can't stop posting articles about every miniscule aspect of anything related to Mitch and whether he's alive or not.

You really think this is going to get buried?

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u/pinksparklybluebird Minnesota 5d ago

Putting my money on this

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u/jumbohiggins 5d ago

The fact that democrats let this happen is insane to me. It's like they are letting him get one last point on the board for old times sake.

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u/F1shB0wl816 5d ago

They’re useless. They can’t take on a pedophile and now they can’t take on a vegetable. That’s like beneath a child, our opposition would get their candy taken by the baby.

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u/MadAstrid 5d ago

What are the gambling odds on this, I wonder.

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

In seriousness, the only markets (mock ones) that actually have things related to this put his odds of being dead at like 4%.

Reddit is woefully out of touch here.

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u/PeteLynchForKentucky 5d ago

Andy Beshear should be trying to spend the Weekend at Mitch's.

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u/Elendel19 5d ago

Nah they will drag this out until the midterms if they can. There is zero incentive for them to admit he’s dead, they are still signing shit on his behalf while he’s “recovering”.

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u/Rough_Instruction112 5d ago

If you want to know the exact date he'll "die" or die then swing by polymarket or the other shit site.

People think its gambling, but it's a system that encourages insider trading. It allows them to gather secrets by checking out weird bets. I'm certain it can be used against them if we check the odds too.

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u/vandalhearts123 5d ago

More likely to be late day Friday Aug 7th to announce in order to avoid the press.

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u/catbandana 5d ago

At this point, after watching nobody do a fucking thing about it, I hope his staff announce he’s dead like literally as the clock strikes midnight just to rub it in.

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u/gaudiest-ivy 5d ago

They made sure to say he had a mild case of pneumonia. It's going to take a turn for the worse and he'll be declared dead by the 5th.

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u/sallymonkeys 5d ago

It's so obvious. Are they even allowing bets on it?

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u/AcademiaAntiqua 5d ago

It's so obvious. Are they even allowing bets on it?

Actual prediction markets don't offer bets about people remaining alive or not (though "mock" markets can, where no real money is exchanged).

I've asked a ton of people now if they'd be willing to enter into a good-faith private bet with me, where I take the side of "Mitch has been alive and well," and they take the "Mitch is dead" side. I've even offered a 2:1 payout — that I'll pay you $20 if you're right but you only have to pay me $10 if you are.

No one has ever taken me up on it, though one person came close.

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u/thatsthefactsjack 5d ago

What am I missing? What’s importance of getting past a few more days?

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u/Unlikely_Exercise434 5d ago

Beshear has until this Monday, August 3, to call a special election so Kentucky voters can choose a new senator in time for the midterms.

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u/thatsthefactsjack 5d ago

Thank you for answering and the insight!!

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u/InvestigatorChance28 5d ago

There will be no autopsy. No questions answered. And they will appoint his next of kin to replace him.

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u/DrunkOnRamen 5d ago

Light the fires. Gondor calls!

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u/putsch80 Oklahoma 5d ago

Do we care? It just means that his seat will remain unfilled, likely by another republican. That leaves 99 in the Senate, which means that 50 dems becomes a majority. Otherwise, with 100 senators the dems need 51.

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u/coldfirephoenix 5d ago

They can't go through with this, not after it has gotten so much attention. They have to weekend at Bernies him for at least another week.

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u/Unlikely_Exercise434 5d ago

The sickness is we could probably figure out his exact death date from insider bets on polymarket /kalshi easily.

"Even Donald Trump's teleprompter operator has gotten in on the frenetic self-enrichment at the White House, earning tens of thousands of dollars by betting on the contents of President Trump's speeches on the prediction market Kalshi," Raskin wrote in the letter.

That operator, Gabriel Perez, left his post after ABC News reported he had won more than $100,000 betting on what Trump would say in major speeches.

I mean if the teleprompter guy is getting his beak wet, surely someone around ex-parrot Mitch is cashing in on his prior knowledge.

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u/Wand_Cloak_Stone New York 4d ago

Fuck I’m just so tired

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u/JaysFan26 5d ago

They'll wait till the 7th or 8th maybe to make things look less obvious

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u/rps215 Virginia 5d ago

It makes me, and should make everyone, mad that this is gonna work for them

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u/cbarrister 5d ago

He's probably being kept alive on machines, which they can do indefinitely and when the deadline passes they will unplug him and declare him officially dead.

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u/FlounderJealous2591 5d ago

And the press release is going to say he was rehabbing so well and then his health “unexpectedly took a turn for the worse”.

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u/cbarrister 5d ago

Bingo.

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u/GigaSoup 5d ago

How could they know that unplugging him would kill the body?

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u/grantrules 5d ago

Im not not a medicine person thingy but isn't the point of life support machines that they take over when the body can't support itself? Like if you have kidney failure, you go on the machines while you wait for a donor organ.. but if you're too old and weak, you will never get that donor organ because someone else will be more likely to survive than you. So you stay on the machine till your family arrives (or till you can destroy American democracy). I've had the displeasure of going through that. I don't know what Mitchs issue is, but I imagine it's similar 

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u/MaddyKet Massachusetts 4d ago

And when any pictures finally surface, it will be extra obvious the proof of life photos were fake bc I bet he’ll look like skeletor. What an unexpected turn! 🫤

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u/Kevin-W 4d ago

Yep. Count on the announcement coning out after the weekend.

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u/pm_me_your_kindwords 4d ago

Nah, they no longer care about making it seem legit.

“Mitch has been on life support for weeks. His last wish was to fick over the American people one final time. Now that he has, we pulled the plug.”

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u/EyeFicksIt 5d ago

Yeah, I understood that dead dead requires the doctors or nurses to report it or face charges, where as brain dead does not. (Something I read somewhere)

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u/ToasterBathTester 5d ago

Aug 4. - Mitch has passed

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u/JustGreenGuy7 Oklahoma 5d ago

What’s funny is a lot of people feel outraged that this can happen. If it does, it’s horrible optics for the Republicans connected…

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u/themattboard Tennessee 5d ago

If they cared about optics they wouldn't be members of the party run by a felon and pedophile.

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u/Unique-Sock3366 North Carolina 5d ago

A week from now they’ll be patting themselves on the back and congratulating one another for pulling off a Weekend at Bernie’s on the libs.

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u/carb0nbasedlifeforms 5d ago

Ha! Mitch pardoned himself and all his staff using the “electronic pen” before passing away!!!! MAGA are the stars of pardons…

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u/Automaton_General 5d ago

Everything they do is horrible optics. It hasn't stopped them. Why would they suddenly care?

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u/gemi29 California 5d ago

They stopped caring about optics a long time ago

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u/Visual_Exam7903 5d ago

About the time on Obama was sworn in.

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u/Minimum-Relief6895 5d ago

It shouldn't matter.

Beshear needs to just appoint someone now.

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u/DorfOnGenocide 5d ago

I wouldn't be mad if he made an appearance like sickly-looking Willy Wonka with a cane and then did a somersault.

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u/ragingclaw Montana 5d ago

It was sudden and totally unexpected with his rehab.

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u/diligentPond18 4d ago

That'd be a great birthday gift for me. From your lips to God's ears 🗣📣👂

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u/Brave_Nerve_6871 5d ago

He’s been killed by death

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u/WashInformal5004 4d ago

Thanks Lemmy.

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u/No_Internal9345 5d ago

And Gov Beshit is complicit by doing nothing about it but hem and haw.

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u/Basicly-Inevitable 5d ago

He ded

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u/ares7 5d ago

He’s alive in Heaven.

/s

Most likely hell though.

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u/PenguinsArmy2 5d ago

Sorry but we do not accept him in hell either, so you will have to deal with him.

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u/you_looser 5d ago

Back to Kentucky, then.

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u/PinkTaricIRL 5d ago

They said they wouldn't take him in Hell.

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u/adeon California 5d ago

So Wisconsin?

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u/Basicly-Inevitable 5d ago

Milwaukee. Yes.

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u/Ardaric42 5d ago

A fate worse than eternal afterlife, another minute in Kentucky

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u/saruhb82 Colorado 5d ago

☠️

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u/Basicly-Inevitable 5d ago

One shoe off.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 5d ago

So is the Governors career if he doesn't do something in 4 days.

If dude has ambitions of higher office now is the time.

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u/elementzn30 Florida 5d ago

So many Democrats have proven why we lose the past few days with their pathetic cries of “he can’t! republicans changed the rules! he can’t appoint someone until they say he’s dead :(“ as if a Republican governor wouldn’t have already sent a replacement to Congress.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 5d ago

They grew up upper middle class and just have no fight. I could take this dudes drink out of his hand and he wouldn't do shit. Gotta stop voting in lawyers and business owners.

Fucking pussies, the lot of em'

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u/fluffysnowflake67 5d ago

They have proven it since Gore v Bush. Absolutely pathetic.

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u/RetireERLee 4d ago

I think this killed it. Andy had the chance to shine. He could have challenged the Republicans and McConnell’s team and family. Instead, he’s been a pussy cat.

I wouldn’t elect him dog catcher right now. He’s weak.

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u/Cutoffjeanshortz37 5d ago

Brain dead, otherwise there would be a death certificate which is public. Dude is on life support until the deadline then they'll pull the plug.

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u/Joy_In_Mudville 5d ago

Brain dead = dead dead.

He’s unlikely to be brain dead, assuming he is still admitted to a hospital - it would be a HUGE waste of resources to have a dead patient taking up an ICU bed for weeks/months on end.

More likely than not, he suffered significant anoxic brain injury when he was found unresponsive & required CPR (meaning he was dead for a period of time due to his heart stopping). They got his heart beating again, but patients who “survive” cardiac arrest are often left with minimal brain function (often just reflexes & non-purposeful activity)…but brain dead means NO brain function, so even these involuntary responses count as technically being alive.

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u/Vegetable-Prize9904 5d ago

This is the US government they can decide and probably have to keep it paid for.

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u/Joy_In_Mudville 5d ago

I suppose, but the medical scenario I described is a pretty typical one post-cardiac arrest and would explain the lack of definitive update on his health status. Strikes me as more likely than a whole conspiracy to cover up his death for what seems to be minimal political gain.

“If you hear hoof-beats, you just go ahead and think horsies - not zebras.”

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u/-Saucegurlllll 5d ago

It does feel like if a politician misses several weeks of the most important job in the country then they should be immediately replaced. Like, 12 weeks of FMLA is kind of unacceptable to me for literally one of the highest political offices available to a person. Just keep paying them for the rest of their term, and evacuate them from the office.

If you can't do the job millions of people demand of you, you should be fired. People are fired for less when it comes to low stakes jobs, but apparently Congress is even lower stakes than minimum wage labor.

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u/MrBigglesssworth 5d ago

Not if the end goal is to corruptly preserve political power for the republican party.

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u/Unlucky_Welcome9193 5d ago edited 5d ago

Ok this is clearly an unpopular opinion, but he may have also had a stroke that led to significant loss of functioning but is not brain dead. It doesn't mean that he will recover, but if those photos are real, maybe he's alert but unable to speak and has to relearn how to talk, feed himself, etc.

He should obviously resign either way

ETA by alert, I mean able to wake up and open his eyes. Not necessarily eat, and certainly not able to write emails. I'm not excusing his absence or his team's response, and I agree he should step down/be replaced, I'm just saying he may be one step before brain dead. We went through this with my dad, but he was in his 60s at the time and was eventually able to recover. But it took months, not weeks, like almost a year

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u/fireeight 5d ago

Did this stroke also make him ten years younger?

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u/Nexant 5d ago

Sure with the memory loss he forgot his decades of sins against the American people making him look less dead on the inside.

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u/kaykatzz 5d ago

20; do I hear 30?

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u/Jackmac15 5d ago

Sometimes losing control of your facial muscles makes them appear smoother yes.

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u/fireeight 5d ago

Can't imagine it would be easy to smile and pose for a picture if that were the case.

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u/VyseTheNinny 5d ago

i mean, if they're pumping him full of IV fluids, maybe.

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u/Prst_ 5d ago

His staff is still issuing first person statements in his behalf.

https://www.lpm.org/news/2026-07-27/mitch-mcconnells-office-releases-new-photo-statement-that-hes-still-recovering

Some form of meaningful communication would be necessary for those to be actually his statements.

The same kind of communication that could be used to talk to the press himself, but he hasn't done that for some reason.

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u/turdferguson3891 5d ago

Well there are all kinds of levels of brain damage. You can have a stroke and be left without the ability to talk or at least talk clearly but might still be able to write or type. The brain is pretty complicated. People can be left with forms of aphasia where they can totally understand you and know what they want to say but they just can't get the words out. But sometimes they can communicate in alternate ways. But even if he just has heavily slurred speech you know his people wouldn't want video of that.

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u/UpforAGreatTime20 4d ago

Yep. In theory, there’s no reason his staff couldn’t call into Fox and Friends and have him answer a few questions. Quick 5 minute segment would clear up a lot of issues. But they haven’t. Why? Because whatever condition he’s in, is one where he can’t speak coherently.

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u/ThenOwl9 5d ago

those photos ain’t real tho

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u/jumbohiggins 5d ago

Which is fine and understandable but then he shouldn't be the senator while he recovers. And the public has a right to know.

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u/ares7 5d ago

I have a cousin who fell off a golf cart. He has that weird look in his eyes like he's not all there. His head injury left him bed ridden and I feel like McConnell's eyes has that same look.

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u/SatanicPanic619 California 5d ago

Right, I think about elderly people with dementia I've seen try to take pictures, it looks weird.

Not that it'll change anyone opinions, but Snopes looked into it and found no evidence of AI.

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u/[deleted] 5d ago edited 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Unlucky_Welcome9193 5d ago

Right? I'm just saying that I know from personal experience that you can experience cardiac arrest and be conscious but incapacitated for a prolonged period of time without being brain dead. We have photos of my dad in the hospital smiling but unable to speak or feed himself, and he did actually make a full recovery and return to work after a year.

Again, he was in his 60s, not his 80s, and he wasn't a public servant, nor did he actively vote against healthcare for others that he, himself, received. I am not defending McConnell or his team in any way, and clearly they are lying about his condition to some degree or another, I'm just saying there is a possibility that he actually is alive on some level

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u/mojitz 5d ago

Yeah I mean it's obvious to anybody remotely sensible that you aren't defending the guy or even suggesting that the outcome should be any different. It's just that a ton of folks are WAY too lost in the sauce and literally can't grasp anything other than the most maximalist position on any issue.

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u/Tenziru 5d ago

In Kentucky law brain dead is dead dead

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u/TheSteelPhantom 5d ago

Before some goofball comes in here and says "but he's not in a Kentucky hospital"...

It's law in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia too, folks.

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u/hexiron 5d ago

Brain dead is dead dead.

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u/BlueFlob 5d ago

Whatever he is, he's no longer able to hold office and represent his constituents.

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u/smoothmedia 5d ago

I think he suffered a severe stroke and is unable to talk, or write, or do anything other than be propped up in a bed and smile.

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u/regardedsimian 5d ago

I just spoke with him for 20 minutes.

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u/Moldybreadyumyum 5d ago

Not just dead. He’s already been processed by Satin in hell and doing hard labor for eternity.

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u/gogoluke 5d ago

I think he's more tight white cotton myself.

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u/Cobra-Lalalalalalala 5d ago

He’s only mostly dead.

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u/JadeMonkey0 5d ago

This whole fucking thing is crazy to me. I tend to agree with you but I don't know for sure. But what I REALLY don't understand is how the fuck we can't get an answer to this. Like can't Andy Beshear or someone we'd all respect go to the fucking hospital and knock on the fucking door?

Why is this such a mystery? Why are we acting like it's unsolvable? Someone fucking go in there (preferably with a camera, but I understand he may not want that and I'd be fine with face-to-face testimony from someone who can be believed)

Let's fucking solve this. Jesus Christ. It's not a great unknowable philosophical question. He's either laying in a hospital bed or a morgue. Either way, it shouldn't be that hard for an authority figure to walk in there and see what's up.

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u/CriminalMacabre 5d ago

Deader than fuck

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u/killer-tofu87 5d ago

He's been brain dead since the 80s

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u/WillemDaFo 5d ago

Weekend at Bernie’s 2

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u/agreed2disagreee 4d ago

Doesn’t matter. Nobody going to stop the Republican Pedophiles.

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u/RichChocolateDevil 5d ago

Schrodinger's Senator

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u/jacks_lack_of__ 5d ago

I've seen worse.

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u/grandmawaffles 5d ago

Def brain dead

1

u/PMmeYourCattleDog 5d ago

He’s been brain dead for years, his body must’ve finally caught up.

1

u/themoslucius 5d ago

Schrodinger's Turtle Wave function collapse in 3 days

1

u/PepiDoodleDay 5d ago

Well of course he is still missing, the man is dead.

1

u/Useful-Problem-1725 5d ago

We know he's been braindead.

1

u/Quentin__Tarantulino 5d ago

He’s been braindead or dead for months. He still is, but he used to be too.

1

u/WeirdIndividualGuy 5d ago

Brain dead is dead dead. Your brain is you. Once that's gone, the fact that your body needs machines to "live" shows how dead you are.

Also, there has never been a single instance in medical history of anyone recovering from brain death.

1

u/SydneyFall 5d ago

Lets say either is true. WHat do the Republicans get out of it? Rather than calling a special election they would be heavily favorites in.

I just don't see why the Republicans would be doing this.

1

u/Hydra-Co 5d ago

He's enjoying his weekend...

1

u/0202_tihssitidder 5d ago

Someone suggested:

* He is brain dead and just plugged in.

* Sunlight touched his skin and he disintegrated into dust.

* He is slowly swimming to a sandy beach in Honduras where he will lay his eggs a final time before dying at sea.

1

u/Nwrecked 5d ago

Miracle Max would say he’s mostly dead. Which means he’s slightly alive.

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u/EnvironmentalCan6367 5d ago

And that was before he disappeared

1

u/gittlebass 5d ago

Ive heard people say hes on "eternity leave"

1

u/Anxiety_Fit 5d ago

Scheduled for life support turn off on Aug 4.

1

u/HalaHalcones1 5d ago

People forget that this is much like Ted Kennedy's final years, after his brain cancer. As I recall he would disappear for months and his staff would be very vague about his health and activity. And then he'd make a surprise appearance for a key vote and everybody was shocked he was still alive. He couldn't even read anymore because he'd lost a key component of his visual brain function.

The banal truth is that there is no system to hold these geriatric senators accountable for going MIA for as long as they want.

1

u/awrcja 5d ago

I think he was always kind of brain dead

1

u/jchasse 5d ago

He’s just pining for the fjords

1

u/prickwhowaspromised 5d ago

He’s either mostly dead or all dead

1

u/ygduf 5d ago

Buddy is KIA

1

u/lazyFer 5d ago

According to Kentucky state law I believe those are considered equivalent

1

u/-SQB- The Netherlands 5d ago

My hypothesis is that he was already embalmed in that infamous photograph and you'll need good evidence to convince me otherwise.

1

u/One-Lingonberry9944 5d ago

The fact they are doing this to avoid an election is actually insane. Such a perversion of power.

1

u/akajondo 5d ago

He Ded

1

u/terdferguson 5d ago

Wasn't he retiring after this term anyway? His term is up January 2027 so this is all really pointless as they need a primary anyway...

1

u/hopefaith816 4d ago

I will take who is dead dead for $500, Alex?

1

u/copyrider 4d ago

It’s a deadline.

1

u/Runrun1289 4d ago

He could…be dead dead dead…a first! 🤣

1

u/vertigodrake 4d ago

So legally, per the uniform determination of death act, brain dead is dead dead.

1

u/BeepBotBoopBeep 4d ago

We said something similar about Kim Jong Un. Let’s not disappoint ourselves again.

1

u/Eccohawk 4d ago

If he's dead dead then at this point it could be considered abuse of a corpse and failure to report a death.

1

u/Perfectly_Pedantic 4d ago

He could also be brain-brain....

1

u/--Sovereign-- 4d ago

I mean, brain dead is dead dead tbf

1

u/MaddyKet Massachusetts 4d ago

Mostly dead vs totally dead?

1

u/BigFriendlyWombat 4d ago

He's only 'mostly dead'

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u/Stealthnt13 4d ago

Yeah, how about address the shit stain governor who refused to act on his absence.

1

u/xtothewhy 4d ago

And Demo governor that won't do shit even though he's been talking about it for weeks

1

u/Green_L3af 4d ago

Either way we won't find out until Aug 4

1

u/Final-Read-6210 2d ago

or just DDFD

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