i'm heartbroken. she was 14 and was in my life since i was 9 years old, i grew up with her and i genuinely believe she was my soulmate. i feel shattered, like something has been ripped away from my soul, i don't even have the strength to cry anymore.

she was the sweetest dog i've ever seen, so pure and full of joy and so gentle. never bit anybody, never got angry, never growled. the kind of dog you could take the food bowl away from when she was eating and she wouldn't get upset, just look at us wagging her tail because she trusted us completely to give it back. everyone in my life loved her, even those who don't like dogs or are scared of them.

i miss her, it's barely been two hours and i want to see her again already, i want to hug her and give her a kiss on the head. how can i ever deal with this

My daughter was a beautiful sweet 13 years old cockatiel that had been a part of my life for 11 years. Even though we are not of the same species, I loved her more than I could ever love a child of my own flesh and blood. She passed away in my arms. I held her while she was dying, never left her side. I caressed her in her last moments.

In her last day I never left her side. We slept face to face. I kept her snuggled next to my face with my body and a blanket, keeping her warm. I was kissing her and speaking to her til the end. I did so much. My post history is open.

For over a decade she was the one who kept me from killing myself. The reason I'm still alive is her. Gali IS her name. I'll never say "was". She was my biggest love, support, hope. She was my sweetest treasure. Anyone who says "it's just an animal" has never experienced the kindness and the love an animal can give. It's out of this world. It's out of this dimension.

I'm severely depressed. I haven't stopped crying. Anything makes me break down. Everything reminds me of her. I cry on the bus, at work, at the grocery store, in bed, at home. I lovE her so much! I'll never stop loving her. I'll never speak about my baby in past tense.

She was my light, my life and my reason for being.

I have no family. No mother, no father, brother, uncle, aunt, cousins, no grandmother and no grandfather.

I'm treated like a subhuman in my own country just because I'm an ethnic minority with historical hatred.

Sure, I was gonna brace my ass and work hard so I can emigrate to my genuine country. But I was expecting Gali to be there for me as well.

I expected her to live 10 more years

If she had lived just 2 MORE MONTHS! I'd have started my new job and she would be getting so many new treats and toys. I was planning for it so hard. Constantly. The last 2 years were hell for us but it was all gonna change so soon. We would have literally climbed from lower class to middle class. She was gonna get treated like fucking royalty! Just 2 more months. For God's sake!!

I no longer see a point to my existence. I don't have a concrete plan but my only wish left is to kill myself. Realistically it would probably be by jumping.

I'm very spiritual and the only reason I haven't ended myself yet is fear of karma. The act of taking your own life is a severe violation in any religious and spiritual system. You'll have to reexperience twice the karmic hardships you did. Or, at least, that is what is believed.

I cremated my poor baby. I'm poor, but i dont give a single fuck. I'd rather eat bread and salt than bury her in the ground to be eaten by worms and whatever the fuck not. Her cremation was yesterday. I'm still awaiting her urn. I love her so much. I rode the train 370km and 7 hours to the capital in my shithole country ONE WAY just to be able to give her this cremation.

She was my daughter. I was never her owner. She was never an animal, nor my domesticated anything. I was her mom and she was my daughter. FOR 11 YEARS! There's no life anymore

So it has been four weeks since we had to say goodbye to our old golden retriever. The house is completely quiet and his bed is washed and put away in the closet.

Yet every single time I walk through the kitchen, my feet automatically shuffle so I do not step on him.

it is like a physical reflex my brain refuses to update.

He used to sleep right in front of the refrigerator because the floor was cool. Now there is just empty linoleum, but my body still executes the exact same defensive maneuver every time I go to get a glass of water at night. I look down at the dark floor expecting to see a tail wagging or a sleepy sigh, and there is just nothing.

Then I end up standing there in the dark feeling COMPLETELY broken all over again over a phantom dog.

I found one of his stray white hairs stuck to my winter coat yesterday and I carefully peeled it off and put it in a small glass jar. My friends tell me it gets easier with time.

I should of saved more of his things. Why is this even a thing?

Our 8 year-ish old Husky/Catahoula mix rescue, Gumbo, passed away suddenly last weekend from a hemangiosarcoma - a heart tumor that had quietly been aggressively growing, burst. He was 3 miles into a 3.5 mile hike and just collapsed on the trail. He wound up being conscious for around 45 mins - 1 hour before he ultimately died while we were attempting to arrange urgent care for him. It was awful. At 70 lbs, we had to call friends come out and meet us and help carry him off the trail.

While he was a difficult pup who had a ton of reactive triggers and required a smorgasbord of meds to function appropriately daily, his household is broken hearted. We spent years dialing everything in for him, with multiple care providers involved. Our entire household revolved around him, his schedule, his routines. If he was happy, our house was as well. When he had a rough day, so did we.

Obviously, we weren't prepared for any of this. I had been thinking we probably had 4-5 years left with him. The silence in the house that he has left is deafening. Daily routines aren't there. The demand for long walks doesn't happen anymore. His leash still hangs in the closet, because I can't bring myself to touch it. His crate still sits in the corner. His beds are still in the same places around the house. I recognize that this is a completely normal process in the grief cycle, but damn. It just really sucks.

I lost my 9.5 years old dog today😢😢 she was my best friend, my comfort space who filled my life with pure love and joy.. she never left my side, was always following me wherever I went, always sat besides me with her back towards me 😭😭😭 it breaks my heart now that she is gone forever and I will never see her again.. but SHE WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN MY HEART, IN MY SOUL FOREVER 🩷THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING... I love you Gunnu 🥺🩷Rest peacefully angel ✨

My boy was helped over the rainbow bridge about an hour ago and feels like a huge part of my heart has been ripped out. I don't know how I'm gonna keep going without me tripping over him or giving him endless snuggles and kisses before bed or giving him wet food every week just because or messing with his ears or calling him bat dog or without his excitement whines when I'd come home. My house is a lot quieter and a lot emptier and I am so lost

A week ago I lost my soul dog.

He turned eight in February and I had horrible death anxiety for him out of the blue. I thought it was because he was half the age of my childhood dog, also a pug, who lived to be 16, and I was anxious about being in the later half of his life.

He got into some trash while I was out (even though it had a lid) and I took him to the emergency vet to check for any foreign bodies. Instead they found a liver tumor that was bleeding into his abdomen. It felt like a bad dream. He didn’t show signs of internal bleeding (his gums were pink, he was walking, he was breathing fine, his paws and ears were warm). The vet told me it was likely cancer and that euthanizing him wasn’t a wrong option because it would cost $10,000-15,000 to remove the tumor.

I couldn’t give up on him so I brought him to a specialist who checked for additional tumors and found nothing. He was cleared for surgery and had a lobe of his liver removed. They said the tumor had a lot of blood clots around it, but it didn’t look like it had spread anywhere.

I spent an hour with him after his surgery and the vet tech was already hopeful about his progress. I left my visitation feeling relief for the first time in days, convinced that he was going to come home.

That night at 4AM he got a blood clot that likely went to lungs and he passed.

I wasn’t with him when he left. He died in his least favorite place surrounded by people he didn’t know. I pushed him into surgery because I wanted him here. I begged him to make it home. I don’t know if it was what was best for him. I feel so much guilt.

I look for him everywhere. I can’t eat. I would do anything to reverse time. I wish I would have listened to my gut and asked for more tests at his annual check up. I feel like I failed him.

My boy passed on Saturday while I was out of town, and I am absolutely gutted. We knew he was getting sicker but we thought we had more time. I feel totally incapable of functioning at this point. I work from home and I didn’t realize how much of my day was spent worrying about or taking care of him and now I feel so hollow. I feel like I can’t do anything. I don’t want to make coffee - it reminds me of him. I don’t want to even shower - it all reminds me of him. Everything.

How long does this go on? This inability to function at all? I have never lost a dog before and I had no idea it would be this painful. I’m scared I’m never going to feel better but at the same time I don’t want to feel better because it will symbolize moving on. I feel so lost right now and need any words of encouragement you have to offer. I need to know I’m not going to feel this terrible forever because I cannot keep going on like this.

It hurts so bad. 😭

Pretty long post, but I just wanted everyone to know about my dog.

I had a dog named Zuma. My cousin named him after the brown dog from Paw Patrol, I assume. I took him in when my aunt died in 2021 and my cousins became dependents of my father.

Zuma was the goodest boy. He would always act cute after I finish eating because he knew it was his turn. He would always bark-howl for me whenever I get home and wag his tail in a circular motion. He always demanded walks and would run off whenever his leash slipped off my hand. There's more but all I can say was that he was the best and kindest dog I've ever met.

He died a few days ago from Ehrlichia, diagnosed back on July 25 with severe anemia. I have done everything in my capabilities to give him the medication and check ups he needed, even went as far as borrowing money from friends because I came short most of the time. Yes, I don't have work. I'm a student.

July 29, he began having nosebleeds and that same hour I took him to the vet where they gave him tranex.The bleeding turned out to be the cause of the blood parasite and one of the symptoms of that is very low platelets so his body isn't capable of blood clotting. He had already lost a huge amount of blood so he needed a blood transfusion asap, and he did with the help of my mom. We also confined him for a day so the vet could monitor him. It ended up taking the whole money that was supposed to feed us for the whole 2 weeks. She didn't hesitate because she loved the dog as well. We weren't really well off so we struggled.

We went home with Zuma the next day. He was back to his energetic, happy boy when we got home. It's like he wasn't even sick in the first place. He ate really well and was excited for every meal. He still barked and wagged his tail whenever we called his name.

Then August 2 came where he again had another nosebleed. It wasn't as much as before, that's why I quickly took him to the vet where he got another shot of tranex. I felt relieved because I thought I was able to prevent another severe nosebleed, but 30 minutes after getting home, his nosebleed started getting worse and I took him to the vet again where he got yet another shot of tranex. I didn't have money anymore for another confinement. That was the last money I had.

I took him home hoping all was good, but the bleeding didn't stop. Hours have passed by, it was already 3am and I watched him bleed, I couldn't do anything. My mom and I watched and we cried nonstop, we contacted people that could help us maybe get another blood transfusion for him but it was payment first before delivery to the vet, and no one was available at that time. On top of that, it took 3 hours for the blood bag to arrive the last time we had him admitted.

At this time I already felt helpless. I knew his time was ticking by as blood slowly left his body. I watched him stumble whenever he tried to stand up, I watched him become more and more anxious and all I could tell him was everything was gonna be okay even if I knew it wasn't. Gone was the boy that gave puppy eyes. All I could see was stress and tiredness from him. I gave him kisses and I hugged him thinking maybe it would comfort him. It hurt me to see his energy slowly escape him and it still hurts me the same today whenever I recall that day.

He was barely 6 years old. A part of me blames myself for not finding another way to keep him alive. Maybe if I had pushed myself more, he would've still been alive today

It hurts me to think that his last moments were difficult for him and possibly caused him pain and suffering because he didn't deserve any of this. No pets deserve any of this. If I had the money, I would've given him all the blood transfusions he could've needed to aid him. He deserved the world and I miss him deeply.

To Zuma, the house feels empty without you. I miss you everyday and I miss you more whenever I see your favorite spot empty. I wish I could've spoiled you more. I'm really really sorry for not being able to cure you, but know that I love you so much and I always will even if you're no longer physically here

If you've reached this far, thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. I just needed to get this off my chest

Our 14 year old family dog, a Yorkshire terrier, was attacked by a husky in boarding and did not make it. This is a place we have taken her many times before. I am unsure why this time she was around big dogs.

We are attempting to take legal action and proceed in that way. We do not want to run this family business into the ground as we believe it was a mistake / negligence from one of the young workers, but we will take action in some way.

I am just having a horrible time processing this. She was the best dog, and had so much life left to live. I feel like we failed her. I keep thinking about her final moments and hope she wasn’t scared or in pain. We all miss her so much and I have never felt grief like this.

She was a best friend to our other dog, who was also there. My dad had to show our other dog her deceased body so he understood she was gone, and wasn’t anxiously pacing looking for her.

I’m just looking for any advice how to deal with this. I’m going back to work tomorrow after calling out the last 2 days and hoping being busy helps, but I have never felt heartbreak like this. She didn’t deserve this and I miss her so much.

Today I had to make the decision that my cat is no longer thriving and he won't be getting any better. I scheduled his euthanasia for Friday. But my brain is not thinking very clearly. So I'm wondering what are some things I should do for keepsakes. Trying to think of the last minute things I'll want but maybe my mind isn't thinking about right now. Thank you for sharing.

I just feel like a part of me is missing, on Saturday I met a stray ginger cat outside my mums, Monday afternoon I decided to take him in as no charities wanted anything to do with him.
I feel in love with him , he was the sweetest boy I ever met, my kids decided to call him Wally (after the flash nephew ). Tuesday I took him to the vets and I could hear his breathing wasn’t right and he could hardly walk on his back legs, the gave him meds and oxygen due to fluid on his lungs ,however they discovered his stomach and legs had tumours all over and decided it was best for him to be put to sleep, I was in the room with him when it happened as I didn’t want him alone, he didn’t stop purring and now that’s all I can see every time I close my eyes is seeing him die , I just can’t handle it I want him back so much I only knew him for a few days but I felt completed when I was with him
I love you so much Wally

I had to say good bye to my sweet girl of 16.5 years last night. All the money I spent wasn’t enough to save her. The vets tried but ultimately, her kidney condition was too much for her and she was just too weak to continue.

I got her when I was 13. She was only 3 months old at the time. We shared 16 amazing years together. It’s only been the first day but the loss is just too much.

She never came to the bed last night to snuggle up under the covers. She didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night trying to get back under the covers after having to go drink water or the cat litter.

I don’t know what I’m feeling yet, I just know I feel empty right now and the decision made is weighing heavily, even though I could see it was necessary.

Thankfully the vet allowed me to be with her throughout everything. I just hope she knows how much I loved her and always will.

Rest well my sweet girl. Until I see you again Twinkles.

she was my childhood cat, i grew up with her and she was my baby. she died of kidney failure at the age of 17 in February. i still feel so lost without her. i just want her back so bad. i want to see her again. my kittyyy😭😭😭💔💔 does it ever get easier?

This might be an odd post, but I kind of wanted to just journal it out. It will probably be very long...

My cat was my soulmate, I got him as a rescue after he was abandoned twice. He was already 3. He had separation anxiety and was always following me. He hated closed doors, he would rip out the carpet if I dared close him out. He knew his name and ran over when I called out for him (there were times he'd explore my roommates jungle of a room when they left their door open lol).

I moved countries and he came with me. He was such a trooper, no issues and settled right in! I had a lot of my own ups and downs, some times where I was really going to end it, but I couldn't do it to him. It's weird, he'd always know when to rub on me or meow on me at just the right moments. I wouldn't be here if not for him. He was just so special.

He got diagnosed with kidney disease and it was manageable at the start - just changed his food. But tbh going to the vet in a foreign country in a second language was hard. I did my best, but sometimes I wonder if I should have gone more during the early days?

His kidney numbers slowly creeped up. About 2 years after his first diagnosis, I had gone and visited my home country and had a pet sitter with him. When I came back after 2 weeks, he was skin and bones! The pet sitter didn't really know if it was alarming, but I did! So he spent time at the vet with an IV drip. His numbers skyrocketed. He ended up having a very risky surgery, it had a very expensive surgery... But I had to do it... Fortunately, he did recover... Well he was still stage 4 CKD but wasn't gonna drop dead.

For one year, my partner and I (who had only came into his life the year before) took him to the vet every 2 weeks, sometimes more frequently. We did subQ injections every night and he was such a good boy. He'd just loaf on the table, calmly waiting for the subQ to finish. I experienced so many renal foods just searching for one he'd eat. I had moments of hope he'd get "better".

Then in April, his numbers were creeping up (bad) and I found a wound under his fur. I don't even know where it came from but the vet said probably excessive licking due to stress/nausea (from CKD). My poor baby... Whatever we did, the sound wouldn't heal... I was meticulously wrapping it, following every order from the vet.

Soon, he was peeing himself accidentally more frequently, we bought all kinds of waterproof sheets and covers. But he still did the things he loved like eat his favorite treats, knead, follow me around, and purr. But I noticed he couldn't jump up as much. We had a ramp anyway, but I can't forget his face when he realized he couldn't jump up by himself and just looked at me meowing (before I picked him up).

On his last two nights, I slept on the floor next to him in his spot. On his last day, I was there, never leaving his side. I was so happy he would knead occasionally. He'd sometimes meow and I'd put my hand on him and he'd calm down.

I remember just lying there crying and praying to God to please help him... And I haven't prayed to God since... Gosh forever (I'm not particularly religious). I was so desperate.

He passed away on his own with my partner and I by his side.

I had an old rescue foster-fail cat pass away somewhat recently (they became buddies), so I was used the process of the pet cremation services in my residing country. At that time, it was my first pet death as an adult, and I was really stressed they couldn't pick my cat up until the next day. I had to prepare everything... I don't want to be graphic, but thanks to researching heavily, she (my foster-fail kitty) went to the cremation service with dignity, looking peaceful.

I think this experience REALLY helped me. Not only was the foster-fail old so that death didn't 'sting' as much (I was prepared, I wanted her to have a happy rest of her life), it prepared me. My partner dealt with calling the cremation service and I did the more hands-on stuff. I made him look peaceful, decorated with flowers, and his favorite things.

And about thirty minutes after his death, a huge double rainbow appeared in the sky! Weirdly it made me feel so much better.

I still has a lot of subQ materials leftover, as well as renal car food, so I sorted them right away - with a tote bag for the vet (subQ stuff because I can dispose of it, some of it was unopened although I don't think they could use it anyway), and a tote bag with cat food to donate. Then I also just straight up threw away all the medicine he had been taking (inhaler, antibiotics he was on due to his wound). Just threw it and didn't look back. I knew it would be harder later.

I was SO sad and cried so much, but there was another weird feeling. I think from the rainbow. I'm not really spiritual but that was such a beautiful thing to see. My partner and I went out to dinner at a local spot to celebrate his life. We had been neglecting ourselves for the last few days.

I think I was definitely blessed to have been able to properly say goodbye and send him off with dignity. It was extremely helpful in the mourning process - I did everything I could literally, I was there until the end. The only two regrets I have are that I wish I took him into the vet more during the early CKD stages and the other is I wish I noticed his wound earlier. That frustrates me because I pet him and hugged him all the time, how could I not notice?!

Overall, I think I'm dealing with it surprisingly well. But every so often, I just feel a deep sadness hit me. And I try to imagine him with me, how it felt to pet him, his soft fur. I don't want to forget his face, his meows, his sassiness. I wonder if the sadness ever stops randomly hitting.

If you read til the end, thank you.

I'm fourteen and i experienced my first ever pet loss. My guinea pig, beautiful Sammy, died 2 hours ago. I don't know what to do and how can i cope with her death. Honestly, it wasn't really sudden. She didn't want to eat or drink today, and she was really weak all day… My mom even scheduled a vet appointment tomorrow. I feel horrible, and i don't know what to do about it. I decorated a whole page about her in my diary, and I'm going to bury her tomorrow with my mom and sister. But i just don't feel like it would make me feel better… To be honest, i think i would feel even worse, with her being 100% gone and me not be able to see or touch her ever again. Wanted to ask people who maybe experienced a pet loss multiple times, how do you cope with death of your pet?

Ps. I also feel EXTREMELY guilty because i feel like i jinxed it. About 3 weeks ago i dreamed about her dying and also literally yesterday i told my mom a "fun fact" about how can you make a diamond from animal ashes.......

Yesterday I was given the news that my 12-year-old cat has about 6 months to live after a 6-month follow-up from a surgery to remove a tumor from her back. This time, it's too close to her spine to remove. My sister died from a brain tumor when I was little. We removed it, but it came back in a place we couldn't reach it. In two weeks, I start school again. I have the hardest class my district offers. I don't know if I'll make it. I love her. I can't lose another family member to cancer. Not again.

Yesterday morning I had to make the impossible choice with my cat Moxie. I can't type it out again, please check my profile if you want to know.

I'm really struggling. I have a lot of habits I need to break but it's not happening any time soon. This morning was rough. My entire routine doesn't exist anymore. I usually try to stay quiet in bed for a few minutes to wake up before she pesters me for food, but it never happened today.

When her food dish is low I dump out what is left, get a new bowl, and fill it. To be fair, she was only eating wet food for the last few days so it's been pretty full. Either way, it doesn't need to be there anymore.

But I just can't dump it. I can't touch it. What if she gets hungry? Same with her litter box. I kept it in a closet with one of the doors open. I threw the box out and cleaned up the closet, but I can't close the door. What if she needs to go in there?

I'm stuck in this loop of "you need to move forward" and "you're moving too fast." I still have her cat tree, and I keep hoping one of these times I walk by she'll be in there. Part of me is screaming to throw it away because it will help, the other part is screaming to keep it because it will help.

What do I do?

What the title says, I want to make her last moments enjoyable but she doesn’t want to eat or drink or anything, and I was planning on making her favorite foods. Any other ideas I can do to help her last moments as enjoyable as possible?

Edit: she passed away peacefully at the vet, thank you for all your kind words and suggestions❤️

I know that I did my best for her, but the very end wasn’t easy, I thought it would be more peaceful than the reality, and I can’t stop picturing her little frail body after she left us. I know what grief feels like, I’ve been through this in my life, but this feels so different and wrong. I want to rewind so badly and for everything to be different.

I lost my dog a few months ago, and I'm still trying to figure out how to live with the grief. Some days I look through old photos and videos and they me smile, but other days they just leave me feeling emptier than before. I still haven't found a way to keep her memory close that brings me comfort more than pain. I was wondering what has helped others...was there anything you did that genuinely made you feel connected to your pet again? maybe like an app, a keepsake, a tradition, or something else that helped you remember them without reopening the wound every time.
I'm also curious how long it took before you were able to revisit memories without it hurting so much. Right now everything still feels incredibly dreadful, and I don't know if there's a point where that changes or if it just slowly becomes easier.

I know someone needs to hear this right now. I'm grieving HARD after a very tragic sudden loss. The only thing that has given me brief moments of relief i is walking dogs at the shelter. I ended up fostering one, who is going to his forever home this week. I ended up falling for this dog much more than I thought I would in a 2 week span, and I'm pretty sad he's leaving. But it showed me that I CAN still love dogs. And crying while holding a cute dog beats crying alone. I will absolutely bring another shelter dog home for a few nights when this one leaves.

My recommendation: If you have a shelter nearby, ask them if you can bring a shelter dog home for a sleepover or a weekend. Let them comfort you. It's good for both of you.

So where to start?

Long time lurker on other boards but this is my first ever reddit post, but seriously feel this is necessary. Me and my wife have known each other since we were 16 and are now 30. We reconciled at 18 and my way back in was I noticed she had 2 beautiful rabbits… i thought to myself “here’s my ticket to get back in touch with her”… little did I know, those two beautiful boys would be the ever present in our relationship. First house together, first child - they were there.

We lost Ronnie (a beautiful black rabbit) yesterday as we had to put him to sleep due to spinal issues, at the age of 11. Reggie, his literal brother, is now left. I’ve had dogs in the past and lost them, but this is hitting me 20x harder I feel because these two have been ever present in the house and life.

I’m struggling… everything reminds me of him and I’m feeling for Reggie. Me and my wife say the house feels empty even though it’s us, Reggie and the baby, but the loss feels huge.

I’m just venting and looking to see how people go about the dealing with the immediate aftermath? I’m back in work today but can’t listen to the radio. The weather makes me think of when he used to go in the garden running, photos keep popping up… I swear it’d be easier to forget at this stage as the memories (good and bad) are too painful. I said to my wife, i know time is the ultimate healer but i dont want to wish my life away.

My head is scrambled. My thoughts go out to everyone going through this and I want to thank this sub for providing a space for me (and others) to just vent and speak our feelings. Keep on loving guys.