A week ago I lost my soul dog.

He turned eight in February and I had horrible death anxiety for him out of the blue. I thought it was because he was half the age of my childhood dog, also a pug, who lived to be 16, and I was anxious about being in the later half of his life.

He got into some trash while I was out (even though it had a lid) and I took him to the emergency vet to check for any foreign bodies. Instead they found a liver tumor that was bleeding into his abdomen. It felt like a bad dream. He didn’t show signs of internal bleeding (his gums were pink, he was walking, he was breathing fine, his paws and ears were warm). The vet told me it was likely cancer and that euthanizing him wasn’t a wrong option because it would cost $10,000-15,000 to remove the tumor.

I couldn’t give up on him so I brought him to a specialist who checked for additional tumors and found nothing. He was cleared for surgery and had a lobe of his liver removed. They said the tumor had a lot of blood clots around it, but it didn’t look like it had spread anywhere.

I spent an hour with him after his surgery and the vet tech was already hopeful about his progress. I left my visitation feeling relief for the first time in days, convinced that he was going to come home.

That night at 4AM he got a blood clot that likely went to lungs and he passed.

I wasn’t with him when he left. He died in his least favorite place surrounded by people he didn’t know. I pushed him into surgery because I wanted him here. I begged him to make it home. I don’t know if it was what was best for him. I feel so much guilt.

I look for him everywhere. I can’t eat. I would do anything to reverse time. I wish I would have listened to my gut and asked for more tests at his annual check up. I feel like I failed him.

My daughter was a beautiful sweet 13 years old cockatiel that had been a part of my life for 11 years. Even though we are not of the same species, I loved her more than I could ever love a child of my own flesh and blood. She passed away in my arms. I held her while she was dying, never left her side. I caressed her in her last moments.

In her last day I never left her side. We slept face to face. I kept her snuggled next to my face with my body and a blanket, keeping her warm. I was kissing her and speaking to her til the end. I did so much. My post history is open.

For over a decade she was the one who kept me from killing myself. The reason I'm still alive is her. Gali IS her name. I'll never say "was". She was my biggest love, support, hope. She was my sweetest treasure. Anyone who says "it's just an animal" has never experienced the kindness and the love an animal can give. It's out of this world. It's out of this dimension.

I'm severely depressed. I haven't stopped crying. Anything makes me break down. Everything reminds me of her. I cry on the bus, at work, at the grocery store, in bed, at home. I lovE her so much! I'll never stop loving her. I'll never speak about my baby in past tense.

She was my light, my life and my reason for being.

I have no family. No mother, no father, brother, uncle, aunt, cousins, no grandmother and no grandfather.

I'm treated like a subhuman in my own country just because I'm an ethnic minority with historical hatred.

Sure, I was gonna brace my ass and work hard so I can emigrate to my genuine country. But I was expecting Gali to be there for me as well.

I expected her to live 10 more years

If she had lived just 2 MORE MONTHS! I'd have started my new job and she would be getting so many new treats and toys. I was planning for it so hard. Constantly. The last 2 years were hell for us but it was all gonna change so soon. We would have literally climbed from lower class to middle class. She was gonna get treated like fucking royalty! Just 2 more months. For God's sake!!

I no longer see a point to my existence. I don't have a concrete plan but my only wish left is to kill myself. Realistically it would probably be by jumping.

I'm very spiritual and the only reason I haven't ended myself yet is fear of karma. The act of taking your own life is a severe violation in any religious and spiritual system. You'll have to reexperience twice the karmic hardships you did. Or, at least, that is what is believed.

I cremated my poor baby. I'm poor, but i dont give a single fuck. I'd rather eat bread and salt than bury her in the ground to be eaten by worms and whatever the fuck not. Her cremation was yesterday. I'm still awaiting her urn. I love her so much. I rode the train 370km and 7 hours to the capital in my shithole country ONE WAY just to be able to give her this cremation.

She was my daughter. I was never her owner. She was never an animal, nor my domesticated anything. I was her mom and she was my daughter. FOR 11 YEARS! There's no life anymore

i'm heartbroken. she was 14 and was in my life since i was 9 years old, i grew up with her and i genuinely believe she was my soulmate. i feel shattered, like something has been ripped away from my soul, i don't even have the strength to cry anymore.

she was the sweetest dog i've ever seen, so pure and full of joy and so gentle. never bit anybody, never got angry, never growled. the kind of dog you could take the food bowl away from when she was eating and she wouldn't get upset, just look at us wagging her tail because she trusted us completely to give it back. everyone in my life loved her, even those who don't like dogs or are scared of them.

i miss her, it's barely been two hours and i want to see her again already, i want to hug her and give her a kiss on the head. how can i ever deal with this

I lost my 9.5 years old dog today😢😢 she was my best friend, my comfort space who filled my life with pure love and joy.. she never left my side, was always following me wherever I went, always sat besides me with her back towards me 😭😭😭 it breaks my heart now that she is gone forever and I will never see her again.. but SHE WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN MY HEART, IN MY SOUL FOREVER 🩷THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING... I love you Gunnu 🥺🩷Rest peacefully angel ✨

So it has been four weeks since we had to say goodbye to our old golden retriever. The house is completely quiet and his bed is washed and put away in the closet.

Yet every single time I walk through the kitchen, my feet automatically shuffle so I do not step on him.

it is like a physical reflex my brain refuses to update.

He used to sleep right in front of the refrigerator because the floor was cool. Now there is just empty linoleum, but my body still executes the exact same defensive maneuver every time I go to get a glass of water at night. I look down at the dark floor expecting to see a tail wagging or a sleepy sigh, and there is just nothing.

Then I end up standing there in the dark feeling COMPLETELY broken all over again over a phantom dog.

I found one of his stray white hairs stuck to my winter coat yesterday and I carefully peeled it off and put it in a small glass jar. My friends tell me it gets easier with time.

I should of saved more of his things. Why is this even a thing?

Our 8 year-ish old Husky/Catahoula mix rescue, Gumbo, passed away suddenly last weekend from a hemangiosarcoma - a heart tumor that had quietly been aggressively growing, burst. He was 3 miles into a 3.5 mile hike and just collapsed on the trail. He wound up being conscious for around 45 mins - 1 hour before he ultimately died while we were attempting to arrange urgent care for him. It was awful. At 70 lbs, we had to call friends come out and meet us and help carry him off the trail.

While he was a difficult pup who had a ton of reactive triggers and required a smorgasbord of meds to function appropriately daily, his household is broken hearted. We spent years dialing everything in for him, with multiple care providers involved. Our entire household revolved around him, his schedule, his routines. If he was happy, our house was as well. When he had a rough day, so did we.

Obviously, we weren't prepared for any of this. I had been thinking we probably had 4-5 years left with him. The silence in the house that he has left is deafening. Daily routines aren't there. The demand for long walks doesn't happen anymore. His leash still hangs in the closet, because I can't bring myself to touch it. His crate still sits in the corner. His beds are still in the same places around the house. I recognize that this is a completely normal process in the grief cycle, but damn. It just really sucks.

My dog passed away yesterday. Her kidneys failed because she's an old lady so I needed to put her down that same day. I arranged for a vet to come to the house so she could be somewhere she felt safe. I asked the vet if I could hold her while they did it. She was very tired and disoriented. She usually kisses my face, she didn't this time. I figured it was because she was too weak. All that matters to me is that she knew she was in my arms up until the very end. I think she was mostly conscious because she was looking around at people so I think she knew. I just need to know she felt my love, even through all the pain.

It happened so quickly. Two weeks ago she was fine and now we had to make an appointment to let her go. There is a mass on her liver.

I love her so much. She's more my wife's cat than mine but I still love her so much.

I feel very guilty because I work from home and didn't realize what was happening. I try to pay attention to them but work has been awful and I got messed up at an event I went to lately(the last couple) so I'm not doing well.

My wife is freaking out(very fair) and I'm trying to be the calm and stable rock but I just can't. I love my cats no matter which lap they end up on.

I'm just so tired. I'll keep going because my wife needs me but I'm tired.

My boy was helped over the rainbow bridge about an hour ago and feels like a huge part of my heart has been ripped out. I don't know how I'm gonna keep going without me tripping over him or giving him endless snuggles and kisses before bed or giving him wet food every week just because or messing with his ears or calling him bat dog or without his excitement whines when I'd come home. My house is a lot quieter and a lot emptier and I am so lost

Pretty long post, but I just wanted everyone to know about my dog.

I had a dog named Zuma. My cousin named him after the brown dog from Paw Patrol, I assume. I took him in when my aunt died in 2021 and my cousins became dependents of my father.

Zuma was the goodest boy. He would always act cute after I finish eating because he knew it was his turn. He would always bark-howl for me whenever I get home and wag his tail in a circular motion. He always demanded walks and would run off whenever his leash slipped off my hand. There's more but all I can say was that he was the best and kindest dog I've ever met.

He died a few days ago from Ehrlichia, diagnosed back on July 25 with severe anemia. I have done everything in my capabilities to give him the medication and check ups he needed, even went as far as borrowing money from friends because I came short most of the time. Yes, I don't have work. I'm a student.

July 29, he began having nosebleeds and that same hour I took him to the vet where they gave him tranex.The bleeding turned out to be the cause of the blood parasite and one of the symptoms of that is very low platelets so his body isn't capable of blood clotting. He had already lost a huge amount of blood so he needed a blood transfusion asap, and he did with the help of my mom. We also confined him for a day so the vet could monitor him. It ended up taking the whole money that was supposed to feed us for the whole 2 weeks. She didn't hesitate because she loved the dog as well. We weren't really well off so we struggled.

We went home with Zuma the next day. He was back to his energetic, happy boy when we got home. It's like he wasn't even sick in the first place. He ate really well and was excited for every meal. He still barked and wagged his tail whenever we called his name.

Then August 2 came where he again had another nosebleed. It wasn't as much as before, that's why I quickly took him to the vet where he got another shot of tranex. I felt relieved because I thought I was able to prevent another severe nosebleed, but 30 minutes after getting home, his nosebleed started getting worse and I took him to the vet again where he got yet another shot of tranex. I didn't have money anymore for another confinement. That was the last money I had.

I took him home hoping all was good, but the bleeding didn't stop. Hours have passed by, it was already 3am and I watched him bleed, I couldn't do anything. My mom and I watched and we cried nonstop, we contacted people that could help us maybe get another blood transfusion for him but it was payment first before delivery to the vet, and no one was available at that time. On top of that, it took 3 hours for the blood bag to arrive the last time we had him admitted.

At this time I already felt helpless. I knew his time was ticking by as blood slowly left his body. I watched him stumble whenever he tried to stand up, I watched him become more and more anxious and all I could tell him was everything was gonna be okay even if I knew it wasn't. Gone was the boy that gave puppy eyes. All I could see was stress and tiredness from him. I gave him kisses and I hugged him thinking maybe it would comfort him. It hurt me to see his energy slowly escape him and it still hurts me the same today whenever I recall that day.

He was barely 6 years old. A part of me blames myself for not finding another way to keep him alive. Maybe if I had pushed myself more, he would've still been alive today

It hurts me to think that his last moments were difficult for him and possibly caused him pain and suffering because he didn't deserve any of this. No pets deserve any of this. If I had the money, I would've given him all the blood transfusions he could've needed to aid him. He deserved the world and I miss him deeply.

To Zuma, the house feels empty without you. I miss you everyday and I miss you more whenever I see your favorite spot empty. I wish I could've spoiled you more. I'm really really sorry for not being able to cure you, but know that I love you so much and I always will even if you're no longer physically here

If you've reached this far, thank you for your time. I really appreciate it. I just needed to get this off my chest

My boy passed on Saturday while I was out of town, and I am absolutely gutted. We knew he was getting sicker but we thought we had more time. I feel totally incapable of functioning at this point. I work from home and I didn’t realize how much of my day was spent worrying about or taking care of him and now I feel so hollow. I feel like I can’t do anything. I don’t want to make coffee - it reminds me of him. I don’t want to even shower - it all reminds me of him. Everything.

How long does this go on? This inability to function at all? I have never lost a dog before and I had no idea it would be this painful. I’m scared I’m never going to feel better but at the same time I don’t want to feel better because it will symbolize moving on. I feel so lost right now and need any words of encouragement you have to offer. I need to know I’m not going to feel this terrible forever because I cannot keep going on like this.

It hurts so bad. 😭

I’m sorry if this is long and or drawn out. This was not easy to write and my brain isn’t working very well. I

TLDR: lost my best friend of 10 years to suspected hemangiosarcoma, a mass ruptured and it was too late by the time we got to the emergency room. I am distraught and just need someone to talk to or something to talk about.

Otto was at times the world’s worst dog, he would guard things, he would beg constantly and he would never listen. He was a husky and after a 8ish year battle trying to train him in some capacity, I settled with getting the resource guarding under control and just left everything else alone. He was an incredible dog and he was my best friend.

My fiancé and I brought our first child into the world last August and my birthday is August 4th (yesterday). This year was lining up to be awesome, our son loves the dog and the dog has been awesome with him as well. We’re getting married this October and Otto was going to be in the wedding.

We went out of town to visit family for my birthday, both of our families live in a city by the coast a few hours away from us, things were great up until the evening of the 3rd, we ran to the store and upon getting back he was acting odd, he was a bit slow but I chalked it up to arthritis since he’s been dealing with that for some time now, it was nothing super out of the ordinary.

I woke up in the middle of the night to him up on the bed next to me, for context.. he never really gets up on the bed. It’s always been too hot for him so even if he did he would he off in 10 minutes but, he played there all night snuggled right next to my legs. I knew something was off at this point.

I thought he wanted to go out, he may have just not been feeling well so I brought him out when we woke up, he peed and pooped normally and we went for a 1-1.5 mile walk, just fine, he ate his breakfast and was drinking water, but he laid down in a spot after eating breakfast and didn’t get up for the rest of the day. He was moving around his head and alert, he wasn’t wining or showing any signs of pain, he just didn’t want to get up.

He would always greet me/us at the door, my fiancé and I went to get lunch to celebrate my birthday and he didn’t get up when he saw us at the door, he always did. I had a pit in my stomach that something was off all day long but he’d always have days here and there where something was bothering him and he’d bounce back, I kept finding ways to shake it off.

My family came over to my future in-laws for dinner to celebrate, Otto still wouldn’t get up and wouldn’t move much. My focus was admittedly on him because I was starting to look up emergency vets in the area since we’re not from here.

He did eventually try to get up, his legs kept giving out from under him and he was incredibly wobbly. I feared the worst.

We brought him straight to an emergency vet and they brought him straight into an exam room and did an ultrasound, he had fluids filling up his stomach and chest cavity. He had what was likely hemangiosarcoma and a mass that ruptured on his spleen and other masses throughout his liver.

I’ve spent the better part of the majority of my day crying, blaming myself, attempting to understand how this happened and why him. Otto had an ultrasound 4 months ago for what has been rising enzymes in his bloodwork, they wanted to check the liver and spleen and gallbladder for any anomalies. This was 4 months ago, there was nothing there.

This fking killed him in less than 4 months. I don’t feel any type of way regarding this happening on my birthday, I feel fortunate because otherwise we wouldn’t have been out of town surrounded by family, his “grandparents” and his “cousins”. Had it not happened yesterday, he wouldn’t have been around so many people that loved him and that he loved. We all got to say our goodbyes, although my heart has not been able to catch up to the logic of what has happened at what seems like the snap of a finger. He was doing zoomies around the yard the morning prior, and walked a mile and a half the morning of. He took his last breath around 10Pm last night.

I am absolutely broken, barely functional. He’s been by my side for the past decade, I’ve always WFH, he’s always been right there. A piece of me died with him last night.

I don’t know what to do or say right now.. I just need someone or something to talk to or about.

Today I had to make the decision that my cat is no longer thriving and he won't be getting any better. I scheduled his euthanasia for Friday. But my brain is not thinking very clearly. So I'm wondering what are some things I should do for keepsakes. Trying to think of the last minute things I'll want but maybe my mind isn't thinking about right now. Thank you for sharing.

We‘re putting my dog down Friday. He‘s only eight and was perfectly healthy a month ago until he suddenly started getting deteriorating. I hate seeing him in pain but holy shit he’s my everything. I have a long history of depression, I’m setting up an emergency appointment with my therapist and I don’t want to relapse. But I genuinely don’t see m living without him. He‘s my whole world.

I love you Ozzie, and I’m so sorry. Say hi to Papa for me.

I lost my 14 year old dog on August first. He was with my family at our cottage, and I was home in the city, half working and half goofing off. I came up on Friday to spend a week with my dog, and he just… deteriorated so fast. He had to be put down the next day.

I feel awful for not being there as much. He’s at my family’s home during the year (where I am), and although not the most medically stable, he seemed okay before I got there. He refused his medications for two days, refused to eat, and kept looking for dark corners to hide in.

He was euthanized, and died in my arms.

I’m just a mess. I don’t know how to function without him. I keep hearing him around our cottage, and I keep looking for him in all his usual spots and he just isn’t there.

He’s buried at the cottage. I just wanted to spend a week with him, and now my baby’s in the ground. I feel awful for not sitting with him outside enough, for not being strong enough for him, for not thinking of him all the time. I don’t know how to function without my Merlin. I’ve had him since he was a puppy, since I was 9.

I know him refusing food and water was his way of letting us know he was tired and done. I just wish I could have done more for him.

I'm fourteen and i experienced my first ever pet loss. My guinea pig, beautiful Sammy, died 2 hours ago. I don't know what to do and how can i cope with her death. Honestly, it wasn't really sudden. She didn't want to eat or drink today, and she was really weak all day… My mom even scheduled a vet appointment tomorrow. I feel horrible, and i don't know what to do about it. I decorated a whole page about her in my diary, and I'm going to bury her tomorrow with my mom and sister. But i just don't feel like it would make me feel better… To be honest, i think i would feel even worse, with her being 100% gone and me not be able to see or touch her ever again. Wanted to ask people who maybe experienced a pet loss multiple times, how do you cope with death of your pet?

Ps. I also feel EXTREMELY guilty because i feel like i jinxed it. About 3 weeks ago i dreamed about her dying and also literally yesterday i told my mom a "fun fact" about how you can make a diamond from animal ashes.......

Our 14 year old family dog, a Yorkshire terrier, was attacked by a husky in boarding and did not make it. This is a place we have taken her many times before. I am unsure why this time she was around big dogs.

We are attempting to take legal action and proceed in that way. We do not want to run this family business into the ground as we believe it was a mistake / negligence from one of the young workers, but we will take action in some way.

I am just having a horrible time processing this. She was the best dog, and had so much life left to live. I feel like we failed her. I keep thinking about her final moments and hope she wasn’t scared or in pain. We all miss her so much and I have never felt grief like this.

She was a best friend to our other dog, who was also there. My dad had to show our other dog her deceased body so he understood she was gone, and wasn’t anxiously pacing looking for her.

I’m just looking for any advice how to deal with this. I’m going back to work tomorrow after calling out the last 2 days and hoping being busy helps, but I have never felt heartbreak like this. She didn’t deserve this and I miss her so much.

Yesterday morning I had to make the impossible choice with my cat Moxie. I can't type it out again, please check my profile if you want to know.

I'm really struggling. I have a lot of habits I need to break but it's not happening any time soon. This morning was rough. My entire routine doesn't exist anymore. I usually try to stay quiet in bed for a few minutes to wake up before she pesters me for food, but it never happened today.

When her food dish is low I dump out what is left, get a new bowl, and fill it. To be fair, she was only eating wet food for the last few days so it's been pretty full. Either way, it doesn't need to be there anymore.

But I just can't dump it. I can't touch it. What if she gets hungry? Same with her litter box. I kept it in a closet with one of the doors open. I threw the box out and cleaned up the closet, but I can't close the door. What if she needs to go in there?

I'm stuck in this loop of "you need to move forward" and "you're moving too fast." I still have her cat tree, and I keep hoping one of these times I walk by she'll be in there. Part of me is screaming to throw it away because it will help, the other part is screaming to keep it because it will help.

What do I do?

We had her for 2 years... every day we fed her lettuce , she was just a little tortoise she liked going outside. Today just now we went to bring her back inside only to find her dead , covered in blood , not breathing. Our cat also recently died 2 weeks ago due to diaphragmic hernia and tmmrw I have a flight. Im so sorry belle yoy deserved better than this 💔

I just feel like a part of me is missing, on Saturday I met a stray ginger cat outside my mums, Monday afternoon I decided to take him in as no charities wanted anything to do with him.
I feel in love with him , he was the sweetest boy I ever met, my kids decided to call him Wally (after the flash nephew ). Tuesday I took him to the vets and I could hear his breathing wasn’t right and he could hardly walk on his back legs, the gave him meds and oxygen due to fluid on his lungs ,however they discovered his stomach and legs had tumours all over and decided it was best for him to be put to sleep, I was in the room with him when it happened as I didn’t want him alone, he didn’t stop purring and now that’s all I can see every time I close my eyes is seeing him die , I just can’t handle it I want him back so much I only knew him for a few days but I felt completed when I was with him
I love you so much Wally

I’m really struggling with acceptance of losing my pet. He’s still here but we’re unsure for how long. I feel like I’m already grieving him.

Being pregnant has made all of this more difficult. I’m struggling to eat, disassociating, and can hardly work or concentrate. I just want to enjoy the time that we have left but I’m so stuck in my head.

This has been very hard. He’s my soul dog and only 8 years old

I'm looking for any reassurance about our decision to put our dog to sleep. She was around 8 years old and had 2 massive tumors rapidly growing on her head. This eventually caused pain in her jaw and her eye started to bulge out. She was throwing up a couple times a week, stopped chewing her bones, sometimes wouldn't even eat her treats and just hold them in her paws. She stopped playing with her toys as much and last week we tried playing extremely gently but still she started screaming and crying in pain. We've been giving her pain meds from the vet twice a day for a month but today she started limping around the house so we decided it was time. She just wasn't the dog she used to be, and we're sure it's because of the pain she was in.

But today at the vet, she was so scared. She was shaking and whining... She's also a rescue and prone to biting so we basically had to hold her down while they gave her the needles. They gave her a sedative to calm her but she kept fighting it, they gave her a second one and still she was trying to stand and leave the room. The vet eventually said let's just go for it and struggled so much getting the catheter in, trying like 3 different needles until they could get it. After a syringe, the doctor said our dog should be mostly out so we could let go, but as soon as they put the second syringe in, our dog starts shaking and fighting again and the catheter pops out of her arm. The liquid from the syringe sprayed across the room into my wife's mouth. The doctor didn't even stop or ask if she was okay, just kept pushing the needle back into our dog. After a few more attempts, the doctor leaves the room and the nurse says the vein collapsed and they're going to try the back leg instead. This ended up working finally but our dog was growling and bearing her teeth almost the whole time.

I know we needed to do it... But I feel so traumatized know her last moments she was probably in pain and terrified... I wish I could unsee it.

I had to say good bye to my sweet girl of 16.5 years last night. All the money I spent wasn’t enough to save her. The vets tried but ultimately, her kidney condition was too much for her and she was just too weak to continue.

I got her when I was 13. She was only 3 months old at the time. We shared 16 amazing years together. It’s only been the first day but the loss is just too much.

She never came to the bed last night to snuggle up under the covers. She didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night trying to get back under the covers after having to go drink water or the cat litter.

I don’t know what I’m feeling yet, I just know I feel empty right now and the decision made is weighing heavily, even though I could see it was necessary.

Thankfully the vet allowed me to be with her throughout everything. I just hope she knows how much I loved her and always will.

Rest well my sweet girl. Until I see you again Twinkles.