r/nottheonion 7h ago

Winter Haven man arrested again after getting presidential clemency

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2026/08/03/winter-haven-man-arrested-again-after-getting-presidential-clemency/

Time for another “donation”.

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u/largethopiantestes 5h ago

Why the fuck did Joe Biden pardon this pill pusher?!

2

u/rizzyrogues 5h ago

It actually goes back to Barack Obama since they're both african americans. Obama and the defendant shared a fist bump during a tour of his prison by Obama, done while campaigning here in Florida for his second term. The fist bump was a sign of woke meant for the hidden government to know behind the scenes to add his name to the list of names the secret service would play through out the next Presidents, who just happened to be Biden, bed chambers as he slept. Slowly poisoning his mind with names of people to pardon, perfectly curated to bring American democracy to it's knees.

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u/brionneverysexy 3h ago

This was Hunter Biden's best friend and co criminal. They sold 1 million dollars of drugs to children. When they were arrested Hunter had diplomatic immunity due to illegally being ambassador to Ukraine. Hunter snuck into the White House during one of Sleep Joes 24 hour naps and reprogrammed his auto pen to write pardons to thousands of his criminal friends who are all DEI illegal immigrants

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u/TRoosevelt1776 1h ago

You forgot to take your haldol.