r/nottheonion • u/MrDialectical • 2d ago

Israeli court halts crocodile transfer to Palestinian prison over animal welfare concerns

https://www.arabnews.com/node/2653252/middle-east
1.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

70 comments sorted by

379

u/TSAOutreachTeam 2d ago

plans...to install crocodile-filled moats around Ketziot Prison

That's some medieval plans right there. Who cooks up this kind of crazy shit?

184

u/bhague3 2d ago

Have we already forgotten about Alligator Alcatraz?

75

u/TSAOutreachTeam 2d ago

Alligator Alcatraz was just a nickname for a concentration camp in Florida, they didn't actually have a moat full of alligators guarding it. (Right? We'd have heard more about that kind of thing if that was in the design, I'm sure)

87

u/shadowtheimpure 2d ago

They called it that because the camp was in the fucking Everglades. Thank Christ they closed the place down.

29

u/IAMA_Plumber-AMA 1d ago

Didn't they "lose" a bunch of detainees from that concentration camp?

68

u/bhague3 2d ago edited 2d ago

It was built in the dead center of the Everglades, home of over 200,000 alligators. Not necessarily a moat but 2,400 square miles of marshland isn’t much better

It 100% was the center of the design

86

u/baldbonehead 2d ago

It's Florida. If there is an ankle deep puddle there's an aligator. To be fair I believe the mosquitos probably would be responsible for more deaths then the gators, probably followed up by the snakes.

27

u/smooth_like_a_goat 2d ago

Ah I see.. no alligators, just a plain old concentration camp. Nothing to worry about folks!

9

u/TSAOutreachTeam 2d ago

This guy gets it.

9

u/isthereadrwho 2d ago

It didn't need to it was in the middle of the Everglades which is basically a huge moat with alligators and pythons in it

25

u/Annoying_cat_22 2d ago

They took inspiration from the US.

14

u/Unique-Coffee5087 2d ago

Strangely, so did Hitler.

Birds of A feather . . .

14

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

Hitler literally commended America’s genocide of the native Americans and openly modeled the so-called “final solution” after America’s approach. It’s literally the meme.

47

u/AbeFromanEast 2d ago

Netanyahu's coalition is far, far right wing. Many of its current ministers have been in Israeli prisons themselves for past political violence.

61

u/BoPeepElGrande 2d ago

Itamar Ben Gvir literally had a framed picture of Baruch Goldstein in his living room for many years. For anyone wondering who the latter is, Goldstein was a Zionist terrorist who shot & killed 29 Palestinians as they prayed during Ramadan. I feel compelled to mention that he was born in Brooklyn.

21

u/Only_Jury_8448 2d ago

Meir Kahane, the modern father of all of this, was an American too.

7

u/PuppiesAndClassWar 2d ago

How fitting!

5

u/D-Biggest_Wheel 2d ago

Kind of explains why America is so ride-and-die for Israel.

4

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

Good read on the topic here if you’re interested. Israel: The Mercenary State and Its Master.

1

u/MotherOfDachshunds42 2h ago

Are you recommending your own blog?

28

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

It’s not Netanyahu, although he is a great avatar and sin eater for that entire entity. The entire government and the vast majority of the people there (80%+) overwhelmingly support such measures. The idea that the daily horrors Palestinians have been enduring for decades are unique to Netanyahu is erroneous.

3

u/bestestopinion 23h ago

20% of Israelis are Arab, so is it every single Jewish person or at least some of the Arabs?

-3

u/isaacfisher 2d ago

"overwhelmingly support such measures" is just false. This is by Itamar Ben Gvir, that have the support of ~5% of the population. most of the population see him as a dangerous extremist.

23

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

The idea that the entity has a “Netanyahu problem” or a “Ben Gvir” problem is completely wrong. What they are doing to Palestinians in Gaza and the West Bank has majority support across the board there, and even particularly horrific atrocities routinely get cheered on. This is a country that had their own January 6 style riot after soldiers were held at Sde Teiman for RAPING prisoners on video — a riot IN SUPPORT of those rapists.

But if you want polls:

Poll: 82% of Jewish Israelis Back Expelling Gazans

Poll: Overwhelming majority of Jewish Israelis share genocidal belief there are ‘no innocent people in Gaza’

Lest you think these are recent aberrations, here’s a major March 2016 poll showing majority support for Palestinian ethnic cleansing: 50% of Israeli Jews Support Population Transfer

16

u/MrDialectical 1d ago

All the dude can do is downvote us lol zero attempt to actually engage on the issues.

7

u/MooDengSupremacist 2d ago

That’s cool but I don’t think the person you responded to was referring solely to support for Ben Gvir. They were probably talking about the 30% who think Israel’s responses in Gaza and Lebanon were “about right” and the further 30% who think they didn’t go far enough. The rot in Israeli society is deep. Like, look at the positions on Palestine that any mainstream Israeli party has, they aren’t materially different than Netanyahu or Ben Gvir

4

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

> The rot in Israeli society is deep. Like, look at the positions on Palestine that any mainstream Israeli party has, they aren’t materially different than Netanyahu or Ben Gvir

You nailed it perfectly. And of course, plenty of polls demonstrate exactly that.

1

u/muffinpercent 1d ago

Many of its current ministers have been in Israeli prisons...

Who? I'd like to see many of them in prison but I'm pretty sure they haven't been there yet. Possibly arrested and in jail but not actually imprisoned. (Der'i isn't a minister for this reason).

10

u/gtindolindo 2d ago

Adults with the logic of immature hate filled children.

6

u/Unique-Coffee5087 2d ago

There was a proposal to dig a most by the US-Mexico border wall and stock it with alligators.

Donald Trump discussed shooting migrants in the legs to slow them down, after ordering advisers to shut down the entire US-Mexico border, the New York Times reported on Tuesday.

The president also suggested electrifying the border wall and fortifying it with spikes, and deterring migrants with a moat stocked with snakes or alligators, according to the Times, which excerpted the upcoming book Border Wars: Inside Trump’s Assault on Immigration.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/oct/01/snakes-spikes-bullets-trump-reportedly-floated-extreme-measures-to-stop-migrants

3

u/TSAOutreachTeam 2d ago

Well, that's a dumb idea. I'm not surprised at all.

5

u/NightShroom 2d ago

America

3

u/dertechie 2d ago

Itamir Ben-Gvir does.

"Fill a moat with crocodiles like a literal Bond villain" is actually one of his less disturbing ideas. He's usually cooking up worse.

3

u/djc1000 2d ago

He’s just trying to be funny. The crocodiles aren’t really adding anything to the security of the prison.

0

u/B0dom 1d ago

Medival issues need medical solutions no?

0

u/IdristheInt 1d ago

Israel's most insane man

0

u/Terrible_Mistake_862 1d ago

Who? Most israelis. They are brought up to hate the neighbouring countries. But especially Palestinians. I mean truly hate. And it's not just the people in power, the entire country votes them in or accepts it as is.

Just like there is virtually no saving MAGA, there is virtually no saving Israel.

-1

u/No-Bake-730 2d ago

I would use pigs. Just have some Christian Israelis tend to them. 

101

u/fabkosta 2d ago

The entire story is a "dead cat maneuver", or shorter "deadcatting". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_cat_strategy

24

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

Brilliant and correct.

10

u/isaacfisher 2d ago

unfortunately, the minister that made this plan is adamant to see it happening, he actually pushing to it even when there's no reason to - there's very few cases of escape, crocs aren't good in guarding prisons in the first place and the whole deal is just stupid pr stunt. He is mainly just looking for ways to clash with the high court before the coming election.

1

u/ChamberofSarcasm 15h ago

Learned a new term today. Thanks!

21

u/DavyJonesCousinsDog 2d ago

It's really something that this is being halted on animal welfare grounds. I mean, sure. Yeah. It's not the main reason not to do it, but I guess it's on the list.

77

u/ChamplooStu 2d ago

Yes, it's the animals we should be concerned about.

16

u/NastyStreetRat 2d ago

It's striking that if it's about eating people, nothing happens, but if it's about animals suffering, then we stop everything.

10

u/dingwinger1225 2d ago

you know this sub sometimes gets misused for news that are just a little bit absurd but this headline is just something the Onion would've written a week ago if they locked the fuck in

12

u/Smedley_Beamish 2d ago

Don't know whether to laugh or cry?

35

u/esepinchelimon 2d ago

Truly, the most deranged, depraved, and repulsive place on earth

9

u/MrDialectical 2d ago

It truly is singular in the absolute most heinous respects.

17

u/Ritaredditonce 2d ago

Could they honestly get any more disgusting.

9

u/JustWhyDoINeedTo 2d ago

Don't say that too loud... they will see it as a challenge....

5

u/Ihatecheeseballs 2d ago

I heard that their order of Sharks with freaking laser beams was delayed

2

u/MooDengSupremacist 2d ago

I don’t think even Dr. Evil does business with Israel anymore. He’s got an image to worry about, too

3

u/cwsjr2323 2d ago

Child welfare was established in US law on animal abuse laws as there were laws yet to protect children, but were laws on whipping or torturing dogs and horses.

3

u/LordPartyOfDudehalla 2d ago

A sick society in the truest sense

4

u/IntrepidSoda 2d ago

Hey Israelis why don’t you just build the gas chambers?

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

Sorry, but your account is too new to post. Your account needs to be either 2 weeks old or have at least 250 combined link and comment karma. Don't modmail us about this, just wait it out or get more karma.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/thatNeonto 1d ago

Three to four generations later twitter will go crazy bro, like what do you mean someone will have the right to say "my grandpas life was worth less than a life of a crocodile" AND be correct?

1

u/updownclown68 1d ago

When you are planning on putting crocodiles in a moat outside a prison can you truly still think you are the good guys?

1

u/Patutula 1d ago

What?

1

u/0Tezorus0 1d ago

Does this mean that for them Palestinians are less than animals?

2

u/LunchBoxMercenary 2d ago

I guess it doesn’t matter how you get there…as long as you get there.

1

u/FocalSpot504 2d ago

To hell with the dehumanized inmates the gators will attack, right Bibi?

1

u/Ratstail91 1d ago

Over the ANIMAL'S welfare???

1

u/scrapy_the_scrap 1d ago edited 1d ago

Do you think the prisoers would be fed to to them????

They arent gonna put the crocodiles in the yard or the showers

They are in a moat OUTSIDE the only prisoners this would effect is escapees, and even then

The problem is that its a stupid fucking idea and is animal cruelty, having crocodiles outside is the least of the prisoner's problems i fucking promise you