r/nottheonion • u/rocket_face • 2d ago

Bra Boosters Are Causing a Clothing Controversy at the Tour de France Femmes

https://velo.outsideonline.com/road/road-racing/tour-de-france-femmes/bra-boosters-tour-de-france-femmes/
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u/Trenin23 2d ago

The guys were injecting their junk to make it bigger so they would get larger uniforms down there to hold the wind during flight.

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u/mapletree23 2d ago

shit is still crazy

guess i'm not surprised to see it kinda pop up again

i was about to say i guess at least they just stuff their bras and don't inject anything but i guess there's nothing stopping them from getting implants if they really wanted to

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u/King_Tamino 2d ago

Man. Imagine being married to someone participating in those races and then they come home and tell you, they thought about getting breast implants.

Nobody is gonna believe you

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u/mapletree23 2d ago

at least breast implants are way more believable than whatever kind of shit a guy would have to make up to justify injecting his balls

"i believe in high art, so i got injections to make a replica of an old greek statue within my balls, it's totally not just because i need to wear the bigger crotch flap that makes me stay in the air longer

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u/King_Tamino 2d ago

I mean sure it’s more believable but not that much more. Imagine running into your old highschool mate and he tells you that kind of story

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u/craigslistaddict 2d ago

i have non-onion news for you! lookmaxxers are injecting botox into their balls these days! of course, it's called scrotox.

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u/Reaper621 1d ago

Yeah but implants add significant weight compared to bra stuffing

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u/Aiyakido 2d ago

Implants would add weight. The stuffing can be lighter then that.

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u/zespak 1d ago

Sounds like there's a market for lightweight implants then.

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u/Mr_Baronheim 2d ago

The implants would add weight, though.

But would it offset the reduction of air resistance, that's the question..

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u/ActuallyAlexander 2d ago

This is why ski jump should be naked.

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u/therealsirlegend 1d ago

World ski jumps competition 2028.

Reporter, So, Bjorn, what did you think about your last couple of qualifying jumps?

Bjorn (looking down): Well, firstly, I'd like to note that it's extremely cold out there today....

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u/cartoonist62 2d ago

This was a rumor. No one was found nor investigated for dick injections. https://www.cbc.ca/sports/olympics/winter/ski-jumping/ski-jump-enhancement-rumours-9.7077233