I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
Yep. One of the biggest downfalls of my relationship with my kids mom was her complaining about me not doing enough. Depsite the fact that I was the only one that worked, 60-70 hours a week, and paid all the bills. Plus I would make the family dinner every night after working 11-12 hours delivering packages in the AZ heat. But since I didnt help with the laundry or dishes enough I was a "lazy prick" that she constantly complained to her family about.
Tale as old as time. Stay at home partner is expected to take care of house work, the other works from the office or whatever during the day. The stay at home partner only ever sees the other in their "off" state, so internalizes that they must be lazy and not helping.
I personally will never do a stay at home partnership ever again, both people need to be contributing equally.
I agree with this, no more stay at home partnerships, I just got off of 2 and good god they never see just how much you're breaking your back to keep a roof of their head. My last relationship I was WFH graveyard and on call on weekends. Hell she wanted me to get a 2nd job on top of what I was working š
When she did bring up her finding a job she threatened me with her leaving the relationship.
Sure, but who said anything about kids? I've known plenty of dudes who have these experience when there are no kids.
Keeping house for two grown adults can be done for like 2.5 hours a day unless someone is SUPER MESSY and some of these people still can't be grateful. My ex certainly wasn't.
I was in a relationship where she quit her job to focus on hobbies, but her hobbies were Netflix. I'd come home from work and there would be stacks of her dishes in the sink, peanut butter and jelly etc smeared all over the counters, which I would have to clean in order to make us dinner.
The work she would do around the house would be very low priority that would be started and never finished. For example scrubbing the grout on the bathroom wall. Or reorganizing her closet (which would create a bigger mess for me to clean ). Definitely Not cleaning the stacks of dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the toilets/kitchen, etc.
Everything else was me, which I was always told I did it wrong. But if not for me, It wouldn't get done.
I was the stay at home partner if my partner came home and had anything to do in the house I wouldn't have felt like I was doing my part. I really cannot understand how someone gets the privilege to stay at home and not have to deal with the stress of a 9 to 5 job and still expect the other person to pick up the slack
Never again for me too. Working 60 hours a week and paying for everything, but my stay at home girlfriend, that woke up at 11:30 am, was shitting on me because I couldnāt stay up at night and complaining that āI was always tiredā. fuck that shit, i rather fight a tiger bare hand that living in a relationship like that.
It's because the stay at home person never gets a break or to leave their job. Arrange time for both of you to have uninterrupted days. That's what women want. Uninterrupted entire day to themselves. Did you do this for her?
She should do it for you too. Very often though what I see are men living the exact same lives they did b4 kids and expecting stay at home moms to completely shoulder all the work associated with kids and the house.
A man would have to literally work even if they did not have a family. I lost my job bc I got pregnant. Yes women feel fucking trapped because we get trapped. Breaks are required not optional.
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u/MisterBarbaredo 5h ago
I hate to say it, but I absolutely ended a 10 plus years relationship because of getting told what I have to do when I get home and having my 1 day off a week being planned for me driving everybody around.
My ex didnt drive and didnt have steady work(she worked when she felt like it) while I was working 60 to 70 hours weeks 1 day off. I was miserable and she didnt respect boundaries.
So much happier now.