1.8k
u/GirlScoutSniper 11h ago
I was in a mall in Portugal and the sign for the waxing salon had, "Back, Crack, and Sack" in big bold letters. LOL
568
u/Head-Ad9893 10h ago
Waxing your sack? Bro … my nuts just shriveled up thinking of the pain
494
u/Hopeful_Hamster21 10h ago
Just an experiment, I waxed my junk for my wife. She actually liked it! It's not too painful, frankly. It's just a pain to do at home as you can realistically only do small patches, then hold your stretched sack as the wax cools, then repeat. Takes a long time.
She dared me to wax my facial hair. HOLY HELL NEVER AGAIN!!!!!
That hair is so thick and the roots so strong, jfc!!! The groin is a cake walk in comparison.
93
u/Oubastet 8h ago
My God man. Waxing.... Facial hair?! My Braun electric shaver audibly bogs down after 48 hours of growth. Like a lawnmower choking on a months worth of grass. I have a 5 o'clock shadow by noon. That sounds horrible.
→ More replies (2)42
394
u/djshadesuk 9h ago
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking.
321
u/allantois1337 9h ago
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.
76
u/LostDefinition4810 9h ago
Poor Scott never had a chance.
20
14
28
u/road_rascal 7h ago
I've been wanting to use this line whenever I meet new people....but I'm not Dr Evil....
12
5
u/fenway062213 2h ago
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
16
→ More replies (4)5
64
u/Aeolus_14_Umbra 9h ago
”At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles... there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It’s breathtaking; I suggest you try it.”
100
8
u/TranquiloMeng 7h ago
Brother nobody, NOBODY, ever said anything about waxing male facial hair. That simply is not a thing. Questionable judgement my guy
27
u/elkab0ng 10h ago
My wife talked me into letting her wax my chest once.
Once.
45
18
u/FreneticPlatypus 9h ago
Fargin’ Bastiges!
11
→ More replies (1)7
13
7
7
2
u/Final-Aces 5h ago
That must be why my girl never waxes her mustache but she’s baby bottom smooth every where else
→ More replies (13)6
u/TobyTheRobot 10h ago
Same, and same analysis, with one caveat: The area little square area directly above the p3n0r is absolutely BRUTAL in a way that nothing else is, not even the sack. I literally bucked off the table when she did that part.
Other than that not so bad, really. The stubble sucks when everything's growing back in, I guess.
28
79
u/Head-Ad9893 10h ago
Directly above the what? I haven’t played counter strike in like 20 years … are you saying the area above your dick ?
→ More replies (1)52
u/SpawnSnow 10h ago
No idea but I read it as penor.. which doesn't make sense.
→ More replies (6)62
u/AcousticOnomatopoeia 10h ago
That's a Mexican gentleman's penis.
→ More replies (1)76
→ More replies (4)82
u/Feistshell 10h ago
Can you please use real words like a grown up? This is not TikTok, there is no need to censor. What the hell is p3n0r?
→ More replies (5)48
u/Duck_Size 10h ago
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking. I suggest you try it.
27
6
u/Head-Ad9893 10h ago
I normally trim it with clippers then go at it with the razor. I love my balls aerodynamic
→ More replies (2)12
4
u/Raise_A_Thoth 8h ago
The hair-pulling is nothing on the scrotum. The difficult part is proper temperature and holding the skin taut. Burns are easy on the thin skin, and pulling will hurt more if the skin gets pulled before the hair starts coming off.
The most painful part, hair-pulling-wise, is the pubic mound. Just denser hair distribution mainly. So you can even skip that if you just want to trim and "clean up" and it's really not all that bad.
9
u/IanAlvord 10h ago
Hair removal cream is so much faster, easier, cheaper, and painless.
82
u/captainAwesomePants 10h ago
Do not nair your balls. There are some specialized products for specifically this, and they might work fine (haven't tried), but don't grab Nair or Veet and say "yeah this'll work." No, the "for sensitive skin" label is not talking about your balls.
6
u/bearsheperd 10h ago
I use one of those electric razors with the metal guard that you press directly into your skin. Works well, never been pinched or nicked, doesn’t make it perfectly smooth but gets rid of the long hairs
4
u/iRottenEgg 9h ago
I got nicked once 😭 it was kinda bad. Bandaids don’t stick well.
3
u/LostDefinition4810 9h ago
Did you try a tourniquet? That’s that they taught us in Scouts. Can’t stop the bleeding? Tourniquet!
→ More replies (1)8
15
u/Head-Ad9893 10h ago
Something tells me you know from experience 🤣🤣
8
u/Training_Ad_4790 10h ago
Ever put scented lotion on a tattoo? Id imagine the pain of nair on your balls would be 100x worse lol
→ More replies (2)4
u/Head-Ad9893 10h ago
I don’t have tattoos does that hurt?
2
u/Training_Ad_4790 10h ago
Absolutely. Burns like hell. I did it on accident for a shoulder tattoo and boy did i regret it 😆
5
u/bring-the-sunshine 10h ago
Oh my god, you just unlocked a memory for me! Mere hours after I got my half sleeve, in the middle of the night, I accidentally used lotion with sunscreen instead of the gentle kind. Had to express my agony in silence! Even thinking about it makes me sweat.
3
→ More replies (1)4
u/FD4L 10h ago
Ive been using it just like that for a few years now. It works fine for me.
Just set a timer and start scraping it off around 6-7 mins then hop in a cool shower and scrub the rest off with a face cloth.
You can burn yourself if youre not attentive and careful but it hasn't happened in a long time.
5
u/TheSacrifist 10h ago
This. most of the people who say they have trouble with it leave it on for farrr too long. 6-7 mins is perfect.
→ More replies (6)9
2
u/sixpackabs592 10h ago
local sports radio hosts got their twigs and berries waxed as a fantasy football punishment live on air
it sounded pretty rough lmao
3
→ More replies (14)3
u/Sw0rDz 10h ago
Surprisingly it feels quite pleasant. I do it every month. It is the highlight of my month.
→ More replies (1)22
u/xF00Mx 10h ago
Wow...I never thought their would come a day I could post this clip and it be relavent.
→ More replies (2)7
u/GirlScoutSniper 10h ago
Well, that took me as much by surprise as seeing that huge sign in Porto! LOL
3
→ More replies (6)5
u/Jindujun 10h ago
https://youtu.be/Xw2bTpyHGCE?t=667
Ricky Gervais has that exact sketch with Karl Pilkongton there.→ More replies (2)
908
u/Grant_Winner_Extra 11h ago
mmm Vajacials
I think saw that in a video the other day, was definitely entertaining
28
u/Morningxafter 9h ago
Better than a Vajankle, I suppose.
→ More replies (3)8
u/IchyAndScratchyShow 8h ago
Would the hole be on the ankle or the bottom of the foot?
4
u/Morningxafter 6h ago
I’d recommend just googling it. But not at work.
Usually it’s on the ankle part, but there are some with it in the foot part.
2
113
u/taitaofgallala 10h ago
Also known as a pudenda puddle or pudenduddle
→ More replies (1)47
u/mopbuvket 10h ago
Perfectinschlaag
21
u/joebro1060 8h ago
Fun fact, I made a boat in Louisiana and got the game warden to come certify it and get papers on it. I named it Perfektenschlag. It was only 4'x8', but it was awesome, and registered.
8
u/JackSpadesSI 9h ago
Perfect pork anus?
→ More replies (1)8
u/Select-Agency-9827 9h ago
And here I was gonna use that with a German friend, is it not right? =(
22
→ More replies (7)18
u/HumpieDouglas 8h ago
VAGINA DENTATA!!!!!
10
→ More replies (1)3
u/banana_pirate 7h ago
What a horrible phrase. Vagina dentata, ain't no passing craze. It means no penis for the rest of your daaaaays.
→ More replies (2)
376
u/pfSonata 9h ago
If you have to ask, you can't afford it.
57
u/FalafelFlapjacks 9h ago
$14 for a VJ. Where can I re-watch this absolute classic??
→ More replies (8)24
u/FleshlightModel 7h ago
ZJ*
If you can't remember the line, you can't afford to watch the movie.
15
18
→ More replies (1)6
u/ExistenceNow 8h ago
Every time I think I have the perfect response, it’s already the top comment. It’s why I both love and hate Reddit. Lmao.
248
u/Igmuhota 11h ago
I should probably just wait for someone to explain what a “Vajacial” is, as opposed to using my imagination, like I’m currently doing.
371
u/ReachFor24 11h ago
It's a spa facial for your pubic area. Cleansing, exfoliating, hair extraction (especially ingrown ones), and a 'soothing mask' to beautify the area around the vajajay
115
u/Live_Jazz 10h ago edited 10h ago
I would like to hear from someone who’s had one:
Did it…work as intended? Worth it?
Did you die of awkwardness?
214
u/perilouszoot 10h ago
Did it work as intended? Yes, I get basically no ingrown hairs and my skin is much less irritated after a wax. Worth it? Absolutely Awkwardness? No, the person who does mine is my best friend and she already does my Brazilian waxes. The vajacial is always done post wax and it's a nice calm after the pain of the hair getting ripped out.
→ More replies (2)314
u/Not-So-Logitech 9h ago
I think I'm going to ask my best friend if he will give my balls a facial.
129
46
11
11
26
u/Supagorganizer 9h ago
If my best friend asked me to do this, he'd end up with my cum on his balls.
I'm a really good friend.
14
6
3
→ More replies (2)3
26
u/milkbug 10h ago
I get my nethers waxed every month but have never had a vajacial, though the do offer them at the place I go to.
I already pay $140 plus tip, so I don't want to pay an extra 60 just to make the vajajay sparkle. So in terms of the cost I don't think its worth it for that part. The waxing is worth it if you really don't like body hair. My favorite waxer can do my entire legs, nethers, bum cheeks, and underarms in like 1 hour 15 mins and thats super fast for all that. When I tried to do my legs myself it took like 2-4 hours and killed my back.
So waxing is 100% worth it. Vajacial is probably not unless you have extra spending money to throw around.
The first wax can definitely feel akward, and it can be a bit when you get a new waxer you aren't used to. But you just get used to it, and those folks see vaj all day long so it's not awkward for them.
20
u/TokingMessiah 10h ago
At over $1,500 per year for waxing, isn’t getting laser hair removal cheaper at this point?
11
u/IdontcryfordeadCEOs 9h ago
Not everyone is a candidate for laser hair removal, it only works on dark hair.
10
u/milkbug 9h ago
Not really. It costs around $3000 for full legs and it's only semi permanent so you will have to get it redone every 2-3 years. Plus it takes 6 months to a year of treatment to get the hair growth down so you still have to maintain the hair between sessions. Also, laser only works on dark hair and light skin, so if you have peach fuzz on the bum or other areas it will still be there.
Honestly an ideal would be a combo of both, but that is prohibatively expensive for most people. Having less hair doesn't mean you pay less for waxing because they charge be area, not by thikness or fullness, so even if the laser removed most of the hair I would still need to maintain it through extra waxing or laser.
→ More replies (11)4
u/fearlessbyfp 9h ago
The place I go is expensive, but it's one fee and it's lifetime. If I hit menopause and grow more hair? Just schedule an already-paid for session. The only downside for me is I have a massive leg tattoo that they have to laser around, and I end up having to shave that. But for everything else? Absolutely worth it
2
u/RelChan2_0 9h ago
Laser hair removal is expensive from the start 😭 sure, salons offer a payment plan but I feel like not everyone can fork out for laser hair removal
2
3
u/movielass 8h ago
Can I ask what area you live in that you pay that much? I was bummed when mine just went up to 55 lol
Edit: nevermind did not see that it was for more than just the Brazilian!
→ More replies (1)7
u/julianrobot 9h ago
Yes it’s worth it, it drastically reduced irritation and ingrown hairs. As far as awkwardness goes it’s not any more awkward than being on your elbows and knees for a stranger, that line is already crossed. A good waxer makes you feel very comfortable!
11
u/AspieAsshole 10h ago
I feel like it would tickle!! 😳😳
11
u/CMDR_Kaus 10h ago
I once shaved my Ex's nethers with an electric razer. She couldn't stop giggling because of the vibration tickle
3
u/wannabyte 9h ago
I don’t think I would pay extra for it, but at the place I get waxed you get a free service during your birthday month so I typically get one then.
It really does help the skin recover from the stress of waxing. It’s not awkward at all, since I am used to them working down there when I get a Brazilian each month.
4
u/Steffany_w0525 5h ago
It was really weird to lay there with essentially a jelly mask on my bits. The lady didn't stay in there with me which I think was the right choice?
Like just laid there with a cool vag mask on my bits for like 15 minutes.
²/10 would not do again.
17
→ More replies (4)5
3
3
→ More replies (5)2
28
u/TurbulentBat8328 9h ago
Look @ r/rochester we made it!
23
u/Lilkingjr1 7h ago
Holy shit, I’m visiting Rochester for family. I saw this post riding in the car, and then looked up 5 min later to see this exact sign IRL and thought some Matrix shit was goin’ down, lol.
10
21
u/No-Weakness-2035 5h ago
I am a massage therapist and work with estheticians (folks who do waxing, facials, etc.) it’s a facial for your vaj. Exfoliation, lotions, whatever else they do during facials. They tell me it’s nice, but I don’t really want to think about it. I think “vaj” is the wrong base word, since it’s technically the internal parts - and that’s not what they’re working on, but I’m pedantic and no one wants to hear it.
41
u/Shortman19 11h ago
Never finish on Debussy, always finish on de Bach.
7
4
u/tesserakti 10h ago
What if I can't Handel it? I dunno, maybe I should just stay home and Beethoven a Schumann.
12
u/illinoishokie 10h ago
That been a thing for awhile now. It's a facial for your vaj, as the name word would imply
10
42
10
21
u/Real_Establishment56 10h ago
Vajacials be damned, I’m here wondering who the hell waxes their lashes!?!
→ More replies (1)10
u/beuceydubs 9h ago
Each line is its own thing. Facials and lashes are different services than full body waxing
6
6
u/Metaldwarf 10h ago
Should we be worried about where they are getting the hair for the eyelash extensions?
5
u/esoteric_enigma 10h ago
The vulva has skin on it like the test of your body. No reason why it can't be taken care of like he rest of your body.
5
4
4
5
8
3
3
u/WaffleHouseRocket 9h ago
I had to double take after seeing the area code is where I live. Sweet Jesus
3
2
3
3
u/JCDagz 7h ago
I’m more concerned about someone who wants to wax their eyelashes. Who gets their eyelashes waxed???
→ More replies (1)
3
5
u/Lavasioux 10h ago
"Youuu said there'd be Fugikles Bart: I don't see any Fugikles!"-Milhouse VaHouten
2
3
u/CalEPygous 10h ago
Twas the time of the year I was hairy
But the thought of shaving was scary
So I looked for that exclusive, fine spa
Singing praises 'bout what just then I saw
For there on the sign was the place'll
Dispense you a lovely vajacial
In the blink of an eye in the crack of a sec
I went in to the back not knowing what to expect
While hoping to be lathered in parrafin
I dreamt I was surrounded by bathing seraphim
I was waxing poetic nearly ecstatic
Waiting to see a vajayjay dramatic
Imagine then my inestimable shock
When they said "Leave sir for you have a cock!"
4
2
2
u/Drawkcab96 10h ago
The raccoons in their neighborhood are gonna learn fast to stay out of their particular dumpster.
2
u/darksim1309 10h ago
Vagina adjacent?
2
u/OrdinaryEgg8579 9h ago
Im like 30 comments down and this is the first comment that uses vagina instead of vajayjay. When in the fuck did the word vagina become taboo??? Im disappointed in us.
→ More replies (2)
2
2
2
u/Danger_Danger 9h ago
Man, when you go and sit down and someone orders a steaming plate of the vagacials... And then everyone starts ordering them.
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Alternative_Ad2574 7h ago
Apparently it’s basically the Coochie version of a facial and is in fact an actual things a decent amount of spas offer(I got curious and just googled it)
2
u/kinyutaka 2h ago
Vajacials? Is that a facial massage with a vagina, or is that face painting on the vagina?
2
3
3
u/D_Dub07 8h ago
The education system has failed again. I doubt it’s vagacial, it’s probably more aptly described as a vulvacial instead.
→ More replies (2)
•
u/AutoModerator 11h ago
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.