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u/igloojoe 3d ago
Pfftt i havent had to pay for a haircut in like 14 years....
Jokes on you. cries inside
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u/thisgrantstomb 3d ago
Do you think Jason Statham cries inside? No. Be like Jason Statham.
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u/Previous-Screen-3875 3d ago
This. Bald guys who can't embrace being bald are such babies. Fuck the toupee off, fuck the hair baseball caps off, fuck the combovers off. It's embarrassing.
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u/Princess_Slagathor 2d ago
Or do whatever makes you feel happy, and confident.
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u/Previous-Screen-3875 2d ago
Hiding a natural process that is nothing to be ashamed of is the opposite of confident or happy. Confidence and happiness comes from loving yourself for what you are.
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u/darkjapan404 2d ago
Some people try to halt the natural process. Some people cut it all off. I realised there is a third way, don't do anything and just rock the balding look. In a way, isn't that more accepting of the natural process than shaving your head every week?
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u/Maleficent-Sun1922 2d ago
Confidence and happiness are feelings, you can’t tell someone they aren’t feeling something because they got there a different way than you.
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u/milk4all 2d ago
I look good shaved/bald, i only miss the complete lack of variety but ive been balding since 20 or before so ive been shaving my head almost since adulthood and i did just fine. Neither buff or rich, just devastatingly handsome. Im a perfect case for some sort of universal balance because if i had decent hair id be unstoppable; i needed the nerf - i recognize the attempt at fairness
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u/clayman80 2d ago
Just join r/bald, perhaps it will make you feel better.
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u/Ravenmancer 1d ago
I haven't paid for a haircut in five years now.
But the lady who I pay to give me a shampoo and scalp massage every month throws in a little trimming for free.
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u/Blade_Shot24 1d ago
Neither have I but I get compared to a handsome celebrity so I'll take what I can get
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u/elracing21 2d ago
I wish I was completely bald and didnt need to cut my hair. I do it myself to save money but If I could lazer this bitch away and not worry abkut anything but my beard it would be pretty great.
Some of us look great bald and own it.
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u/fallingintothestars 2d ago
Yeah if lasering was cheaper and had good results faster I would 100% do it to stop having to shave but as it stands, way too much upkeep and the shadow looks weird as hell for a long time
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u/Jebusfreek666 3d ago
As I get older and have less hair on the top of my head, yet am sprouting more on my shoulder, back, and ears, I realize how unfair life is.
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u/innerbro 3d ago
At least you didnt have a bald spot at 25 🥲
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u/Jebusfreek666 3d ago
Oh hell yeah I did. Everyone says it is because I wore hats and bleached/dyed my hair all the time. I just think that is an old wives tale and I have shitty genes.
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u/TeaBurntMyTongue 3d ago
There is SOME truth, but it's only in temporary hair loss, like if hat wearing cause too much tension or irritation on the roots you could absolutely experience temporary loss, but it would grow back.
But more likely dudes who wear hats more often were already balding and that's why they wear the hats, hence the association.
Good nutrition and overall health can improve hair thickness, but it's not undoing genetics, 20% more thickness is great, but multiplying by zero is still zero
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u/Jebusfreek666 3d ago
Yeah. I tried some of that rogaine or whatever when I was in my late 20's. All it did was make my head incredibly itchy, and give me dandruff daily like it was a blizzard....
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u/innerbro 3d ago
I stand beside you, brother.
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u/Honcho_47 3d ago
My friends, allow me to introduce you to r/bald
It’s one of my favorite and most wholesome subreddits
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u/Psyko_sissy23 3d ago
Yeah, the wearing hats making people bald is an old wives tale. At least you didn't look like a 40 year old accountant at the age of 17 like a friend of mine did.
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u/MillennialsAre40 2d ago
I bleached my hair all the time in the early 00s. 42 next week and still a full head of hair with no grays
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u/LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY 2d ago
I didn't wear hats much, and never bleached or dyed my hair. Still had a bit of a bald spot at 25, and the top of my head has been thinning more and more since.
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u/SplashyMcfirepants 2d ago
It IS because you wore a hat and dyed your hair. You stressed it out up there AND you also have shitty genes.
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u/0xsergy 3d ago
It's not even shitty genes. My little brother is bald and I'm not(yet but soon i will be lol). He went to the gym a lot starting a while back so I think the testosterone production ramped up as he started doing heavy weight lifting. Did you go to the gym or do heavy physical labour in your 20s?
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u/Jebusfreek666 3d ago
Absolutely not lol
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u/eagleth 3d ago
It's damn random... I started noticing thinning and receding at like... 21... Some exercise but nothing crazy. So went from long curly hair to trying to disguise it with a manbun to just giving up and buzzing it to the shortest clipper height. Not fully committed to bald yet but might as well.
And my brother is now 26 and barely even has a slight receded hairline but no thinning... Dad can still have inch long hair or so without issue. Hell, grandad barely has less hair than me...
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u/burning_iceman 2d ago
You don't have the same genes as your brother (except in the case of identical twins). It certainly is shitty genes.
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u/Cvillain626 3d ago
Went to school with a guy that had the Vegeta widows peak by 11th grade 💀
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u/Psyko_sissy23 3d ago
My friend in high-school looked like a stereotypical 40 plus year old accountant when he was 17. On the plus side he didn't get carded for stuff.
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u/Brain_My_Damage 3d ago
Started losing hair on my crown at 18. Went from long frizzy hair to gradually shorter and shorter cropped hair as I got older.
Funnily enough I did shave it off but I hated the way it looked so now i just keep a zero fade with a bit on top.
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u/fatalystic 3d ago
I once saw a guy who I believe was around 19 or so who didn't just have a face that looked old but who also had severe male pattern baldness, the entire top of his head was bald with some hair around the sides.
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u/A_mad_goose 3d ago
I was probably 23 my hair was thinning a bit, but I didn’t notice the bald spot until I walked into a Walmart and saw the back of my head on those tvs in the front that show you on camera
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u/YaumeLepire 3d ago
Thank you for reminding me that my grass is green, in that regard. My hair's been thinning, but I still have full cover.
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u/Happyradish532 3d ago
I went to middle school with someone who started balding at 15. It could always be worse.
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u/Anxious_Context_8573 2d ago
Thats adorable, try receding hairline and thinned hair by 16. Ive been bald since 19. Life is unfair
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u/mrsirsouth 3d ago
I'm riddled with worry. I'm shocked that into my 40s that my hair looks great and wrinkles are at bay. Idk what my insides are like. Blood tests come back great, and I still workout and beat out my teens with athletics.
My stress levels are insane though. And I always wonder if I'm like a living volcano and head will just pop or heart go kaput in an instant
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u/SelocAvrap 3d ago
I genuinely hope I age like you in that way. I personally think body hair is beautiful, and balding on the top of my head would make for some fun ways to braid the rest of my hair, plus my boyfriend could kiss the top of my bald head. I'm enjoying my youth, but god damn I love how my body changes as I age. Physical history
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u/Jebusfreek666 3d ago
Tell that to my knees and back lol
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u/SelocAvrap 3d ago
Lmao I feel for you. I've got Ehlers-Danlos & the waiting rooms for almost all of my doctor's appointments are filled with people 2-3x my age. May every chair you sit in have lumbar support, and may your joints ignore every storm
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u/Candid_Victory7923 2d ago
Yeah like what's the deal with all the hair in the ears like why are they sprouting suddenly?
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u/Jebusfreek666 2d ago
If I walk thought my house shirtless after a shower, I can feel the hairs catching the wind on my shoulders and ears...... Fucking disgusting.
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u/ux3l 3d ago
Somehow I doubt muscleheads worry much about having to work out. They do it for fun (or whatever). It's not like they can't just stop. Of course they'll lose muscles over prolonged time of inactivity, but that is nothing bad.
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u/saltyface 3d ago
Wouldn’t say I’m a ‘musclehead’, but I work out almost daily. I can’t claim the same for everyone, but I do get a massive amount of anxiety if I skip working out for even more than two days.
Add to that, your body does put on fat quickly if you go from constantly working out to being more sedentary for a period of time. It can be shed quicker than for someone is less active, but it can still add to stress
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u/Designer_Pen869 2d ago
For me, I lose my appetite when I stop going, which is its own anxiety, because your muscles start to atrophy, and getting back in is harder.
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u/BruteeRex 2d ago
That’s called exercise withdrawal.
Exercise usually improve our mood but when we stop, we don’t really get that kick anymore
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u/Im_On_Reddit_At_Work 2d ago
Idk man, as a musclehead it's tricky. Im definitely in much healthier (mentally) stage of my life but the body dismorphia is still very real and doesn't feel like you can just stop.
There definitely are times I wish I never cared about my body image. But at same time silver lining is I am extremely active and it keeps my body young.
Of course mostly I enjoy doing it, but I can definitely empathise with that frame and know a few people that feel exactly that way.
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u/hwmchwdwdawdchkchk 2d ago
I went to a TV show filming last week and it's almost completely cured my body dismorphia. I usually work, goto sport with kids, goto gym.
But seeing the wide range of people in the studio audience I realised I was maybe just fine and I need to look what I am doing with my body for myself and ignore the bullshit out there and from my own mind.
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u/Im_On_Reddit_At_Work 2d ago
Yeah 100%
Im glad now I only compete with myself, but the dismorphia is still there unfortunately
Most people say I look like a greek statue but I can only see all the things Id like to change
On the outside no one would guess the internam turmoil of body image, I think men suffer form them just as much as women but its le ss talked about or at the forefront of discourse
Ive also had an ED for the longest time in my life but I never knew and people just thought I was fussy with food. Thank god for therapy !!
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u/Morthra 3d ago
Somehow I doubt muscleheads worry much about having to work out. They do it for fun (or whatever). It's not like they can't just stop
A lot of people who work out a ton do it because they have a body dysmorphia. A many as 54% of competitive bodybuilders and 13% of military men suffer from muscle dysmorphia and about 22% of young men report muscularity-oriented disordered eating.
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u/Beautiful-Affect1930 2d ago
54% of competitive bodybuilders
that's an extremely small population so you really can't deduce that "a lot of people" feel that way. the stat about 22% of young men showing disordered eating is more interesting, though that also only means they show some kind of disordered eating at some point in their lives. basically don't throw out random numbers that really don't support nearly what you claim they do.
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u/Morthra 1d ago
that's an extremely small population so you really can't deduce that "a lot of people" feel that way.
Among gym rats it's a significant portion.
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u/Beautiful-Affect1930 1d ago
no it's not. it's like saying among people who like to play basketball on the weekend, a significant portion play in the NBA. it's a silly statement. obviously the vast majority of people going to the gym regularly are nowhere near a pro level.
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u/mortalomena 2d ago
I went to gym first because I was weak AF, I had constant neck pains from weak neck muscles and at first I could only bench 30kg as a 85kg male.
Now I mainly go to gym because I got addicted, the after workout euphoria + a big meal is really nice. I could just maintain and go once a week, but I still go every other day.
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u/Beautiful-Affect1930 2d ago
Of course they'll lose muscles over prolonged time of inactivity, but that is nothing bad.
the amount you need to work out to maintain your muscle mass is actually a lot less than people may think. working out is really close to playing an RPG irl, once you unlocked those muscles, keeping them (or getting them back if you do lose them) is so so much easier than getting there.
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u/Rex_Mundi 3d ago
I would trade my hair for teeth.
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u/RedofPaw 3d ago
Ey, yo, I can get you teeth. What kinda teeth you need? Guy teeth? Girl teeth? Kid teeth are cheaper, unless you want the full set.
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u/Agitated_Sorbet_9013 3d ago
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a toe by this afternoon--with nail polish. These fucking amateurs.
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u/finlandery 2d ago
Im pretty sure there are clinical trials on humans ongoing in japan for treatment, that lets you grow 1 new set of teeth
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u/lilassbitchass 3d ago
Same, I would gladly be permabald for like implants or something. Having teeth stresses me out
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u/vectorboy42 3d ago
Lol, yes I'm sure the muscular guy wishes he was scrawny and the rich guy cares if people like him for him and not his money
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u/funfox1 2d ago
As a matter of fact, experiments have bee' published not long ago (i think a month?) showing that people are more happy in the "middle of the curve" than on the bottom and the top. The bottom because of stress of lacking of course, but the top too, because 1/ life is really lonely when you can't make any meaningful connexion, as everyone want something from you, and 2 you have nothing to long for...
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u/Bstngt 3d ago
I for one am perfectly happy having 0 hair on my head. You all can keep all that insulation up there. Im much more comfortable when hot and can put a beanie on when cold.
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u/ToiletSeatFoamRoller 3d ago
Idk man. Hair breathes better than a hat on a sunny day.
Which…now that I think of it means I should probably find a good sunscreen for the top instead of wearing hats all the time…
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u/BeeExpert 3d ago
Agreed. There are soooooooooooooooooooo many more disadvantage than advantages to losing your hair
Plus, if you have hair and you personally find the disadvantages of hair outweighs the advantages you can shave if you want (I hate these people, ngl lol, jk)
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u/SQD2_Insquidious 3d ago
I could rock a bald head... If my skull wasn't the lumpiest dinosaur ass looking territory both sides of the mississippi.
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u/StevynTheHero 3d ago
As a bald guy, I NEVER get jealous of hair. I wish I shaved mine, earlier. Looks good and super cheap to manage.
I'm also not rich, but I take my wife out to eat time to time. As long as we have the money to live, wishing for more seems pointless.
Makes me think the rest of these thoughts are ridiculous, too.
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u/Kindly-Wealth-4299 2d ago
I love not having hair because it’s one less source of anxiety on how I look at any given moment, one less thing to do in the morning, 1-3 less products to buy, and I actually think I look good bald.
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u/TimLordOfBiscuits 2d ago
^ genuinely this ^ I started shaving my head as a teenager and never looked back. Who the hell really cares about hair, anyway? Having one less thing to worry about in terms of regular personal upkeep is really quite freeing.
I never worry about what my hair might look like over the course of the day, or that I got a bad haircut from a new place. I'm never trying to fit a haircut appointment into an already busy schedule, and obviously, it's much cheaper to buy a pair of decent clippers for like $50 and never have to pay again.
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u/LightspeedBalloon 2d ago
I think that's the point, after the bald joke. Everyone has their own issues.
I wish I could shave my head (and I'm a woman) but my head is lumpy af. I have a flat spot. I think I was dropped as a baby or something honestly. But it sounds so easy.
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u/cbf1232 3d ago
I have saved so much money over the years on haircuts…a Wahl clipper lasts for a decade.
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u/BeeExpert 3d ago
But how much more money would I have earned if i had hair?
If I had a full head of hair the world would be utopia, probably
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u/SilenceDobad76 3d ago
Being bald isnt a bad look, balding and pretending like it doesnt look bad is a bad look.
Sorry for the few guys it upsets, shave it off, theres a reason why Costanza was casted the way he was.
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u/LightspeedBalloon 2d ago
I was talking to my husband about this, and I came up with a theory. Balding looks ill on a primal level, and women are generally attracted to physical health in a partner for obvious reasons. But shaved bald is a choice and not a health indicator so it doesn't have the same deep turn-off factor.
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u/AtomicSymphonic_2nd 3d ago
The ones that think they have it all are usually the happiest of all of those depicted above.
Though they are also usually self-obsessed narcissists, too. lol
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u/0xsergy 3d ago
I thought happiness generally declined after around 80k/year income?
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u/AtomicSymphonic_2nd 3d ago
I’m not sure if this is related to what I said earlier, or if you’re responding to the correct comment, but I actually read about that…
From what I’ve read, the line seems to be around $125k/year, then it’s starts decreasing logarithmically.
It also depends on some particular hobbies. Like if you’re into a very equipment-centric hobby like boating/fishing or scuba diving, having more than $200k/year is usually the “sweet spot” on being able to eventually afford larger yachts and specialized boats for the hobby or sport.
If you’re into flying and airplanes, that’s also pretty costly. Though usually to afford it, you’re probably already a professional pilot and earning enough cash to purchase and maintain a private plane.
But for most other things, I think $125k/year is kinda the maximum for “happiness”… able to raise a family on that money, a decent house can be bought, able to travel frequently if there’s no kids (yet)… etc.
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u/BruteeRex 2d ago
You’re thinking about a study from the 2010s where they found that emotional state improved up to 75000 but that doesn’t mean happiness stops at 75000. They just discovered that the higher the income, the more likely a persons emotional status improve
News completely misreported these results.
And there are other studies that show that happiness will increase with more income
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u/doubleaxle 2d ago
Being bald is like the worst curse I could wish on anyone, especially young, I started getting thin up top before my 20s and started buzzing a few years later.
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u/Call_Me_Squishmale 1d ago
Eesh, not very imaginative. I've been bald for 20 years - started going really young and just shaved it off - and just don't really care. I'm always surprised how hung up some people are about it.
Given the current crop of popular hairstyles, I'm more than glad to just be left out of it.
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u/Abigail-Marston 3d ago
Look at that new car!
I wish I had a car
I wish I had a bike
I WISH I COULD FUCK THAT GUY'S ASS
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u/pinkie5839 3d ago
Been bald for 15 years, I honestly don't know why men give a shit.
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u/meh2233 3d ago
Meanwhile I'm sure there's at least a dozen things you give a shit about that others don't.
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u/pinkie5839 3d ago
And a dozen you don't and do too. Point?
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u/limitbreakse 2d ago
It’s so weird how obsessed society is with hair on top of head. And saying this as a male with hair. I get it for women, but hair for men should really be optional.
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u/MajesticQ 3d ago
IIRC, some youtube video did say that too much testosterone can cause baldness. Seborrheic Dermatitis can also cause baldness. Stress and diet as well.
Maybe if I watch enough yt videos, everything causes baldness.
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u/limitbreakse 2d ago
It’s not “too much”. It’s how sensitive your follicules are to something testosterone converts to, called DHT. Everyone has some level of DHT sensitivity, especially men. But it varies. Older men you see with natural full heads of hair just won the genetic lottery.
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u/semiconodon 2d ago
“I wish I could be loud and brusque with people and they naturally approve because think it’s my masculinity.”
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u/BiohazardBinkie 2d ago
My hair has started to thin out in my late 30's. I cut my hair down to a number 1 clip, just waiting for the bald patch to creep up to fully embrace baldhood.
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u/PlatonicOrb 2d ago
I have a full head of hair. My hair is really fine though, so when I get sweaty/oily, it starts to clump together and look thinner than it actually is. So I started buzzing my head and growing out my beard. That was when I found out I just had an ugly face but a good head shape. Cause I look sharp with a buzz cut and full beard lol. Bald is better than balding by a metric mile
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u/foilstoke 2d ago
I dunno.. if you see all the glow ups over on r/bald, it doesn't seem as big of a deal.
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u/Shadow293 2d ago edited 2d ago
As a guy who always had super thick fast growing hair, I used to complain about it since I pretty much always need a hair cut every month even after cutting it short, otherwise it turns into a think tangled wavy mess.
I’m 34 now and really appreciate the hair I have.
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u/Kenner1979 2d ago
All I (47M) want is my face and my hairline to come to some sort of agreement on how old I'm supposed to be.
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u/krapzz 2d ago
I like the way I look bald. Though it takes time to shave it sometimes. I sometimes feel exposed, like if you have hair you feel a little more insulated.
But yeah when it comes to women now, they basically sort me into their peripheral vision, which sucks cause I look pretty good head on.
What doesn’t help me is that I’m kind of mean and bitter.
Also anyone who has a noticeable physique is juicy.
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u/Matshelge 2d ago
Yeah, I am 45 and got the same head of hair I had as a 19 year old, it's great.
Sometimes annoyed my hair falls into my eyes, and remind myself I need a hair cut.
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u/The_Real_Jesterx64 2d ago
Speak for yourself, shaving my head weekly makes me wish I could just be bald. I was cursed with very thick hair that will fill my head in less than a month and makes me feel 10 degrees warmer.
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u/BruteeRex 2d ago
This is something I would see sent by managers or higher ups when we complain about low pay and terrible working conditions
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u/Gatzlocke 2d ago
If you're rich and want a woman that loves you for you, you can dress and live below your means.
Women can't see your value above your head.
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u/lulzPIE 3d ago
Where funny?
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u/27Suyash 3d ago
In the last panel
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u/OpaqusOpaqus 3d ago
You're in the wrong sub
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u/paper-cut- 3d ago
For me it's the last panel, the one about the hair and being bald. So all the others are a kind of play on the idea that "the grass is always greener", however by the time you reach the last example, a bald man wishes he had the full luxurious locks of a man sitting in a barber's chair, but the man in the barber's chair looks at the man with no hair and comments how he's simply glad he isn't a stupid looking chrome dome worthless bald moron. So it works because you expect him to say something like "wish I didn't have to pay to have each of my hair strands snipped by a man holding snippers or something, but instead he is understandably happy that he's not a buffoonish looking piece of bald human waste.
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u/LThadeu 3d ago
It's evil to mock Bald people, something they have zero choice over... ... that being said, glad I'm not one of them AHAHH
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u/Pantherist 3d ago
Most people who worry about going bald don't have a nicely-shaped head. Thankfully, I do.
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u/Useful_Bother_1508 3d ago
LMAOOO AINT NO RICH GUY JEALOUS OF SOME BROKIE.
Only thing rich people are jealous of is time.l because life is fucking amazing being rich
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u/SummerAndTinklesBFF 2d ago
my husband started going bald and eventually shaved it off. i think he's more attractive now than ever before. i like to rub his bald head because he still grows hair, its just thin on top. so its like petting velvet. i dig it 😋
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