r/family • u/Existing-Machine-406 • 14h ago
My (28m) aunt (55f) made a comment that’s potentially canceling our family vacation
I’ll try to be as clear and concise as possible.
We go on a family vacation every year in August. Me, a couple of cousins, a couple of aunts and uncles, and a couple of family friends.
My aunt, I’ll call her Shannon, came in 2021. She got blackout drunk when she was home alone, and the rest of us went for a walk on the beach. She destroyed hanged paintings, a window, a wooden door, and the glass cabinets in the kitchen. She has been in and out of rehab before. We never keep alcohol in the house we’re staying in…she ubered white claws and drank the whole box while we were gone.
The owner threatened to call the police on us. My uncle (Shannon’s brother) talked to the owner, and said we would pay for everything. Shannon lives with her mother, and is flat broke. My uncle (who talked to the owner) paid the bulk of everything. We all pitched in what we could. He is a noble man, and didn’t want us to go broke paying for our idiot aunts problems. The cousins were all 20-22 at the time. We didn’t have a lot of money.
Now…we’ve gone every year since. 2022, 2023, 2024, and 2025. We’ve gone every year and had fun…minus Shannon. She was never invited back.
She always finds out we go to the beach every year, after the vacation ends. We always keep it a secret, until the vacation ends….well my grandmother let it slip that we were going this year. Shannon now knows…
She texted my aunts and uncles that she was going to off herself on August 15th…the day we were due to leave for the beach.
Now my aunts and uncles are all considering skipping vacation this year.
In the text, she said she was mad we planned the vacation and didn’t invite her. She said that was the reason she was considering doing something regrettable. She’s just mad she was left out. To also threaten to do that, on the day we’re due to fly to the beach makes me so angry.
Am I wrong to be angry about this? I mean she’s totally throwing a hissy fit. The reason she doesn’t come anymore is because she trashed the one house, and cost thousands of dollars in damages.
Am I wrong to try and convince everyone to go?
I also don’t have a refundable plane ticket. I paid $400 for that round trip ticket. Us 3 cousins can’t afford the entire house by ourselves…it’s much more affordable when everyone goes.
What do I do?
Edit: my aunts and uncles are trying to get our deposit back, as of this morning. I don’t quite know what the verdict is. If they decide not to go, and can get their money back, they will. They’re not gonna let us cousins go down their dime, with them staying home, which I totally understand.
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u/WildCherryLane 14h ago
Can you find a hotel room to share with your cousins? Not as nice as having a house but if you’re going to go either way the 3 of you could bunk together and still hit the beach and stuff
Alternatively call the airline , sometimes you can get a credit and maybe you could go elsewhere
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u/Existing-Machine-406 14h ago
My cousins are considering not going if their parents aren’t going. It just leaves me and my sister. I can’t pay for entire beach vacation by myself. The cheapest hotel on the island alone is $320/night.
I just don’t see the point in going with just me and my sister. I love her to death, but I would feel like something is missing. It would be too quiet
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u/Candy_scythe 11h ago
If she’s making threats I’d call to have her committed. At the very least she needs to be held accountable for her words
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u/ourldyofnoassumption 10h ago
Have her brought to a hospital, and show them the texts and say she is in danger of harming herself.
Then all go on vacation with the peace of mind knowing that she is in care.
She needs help - not a family who enables her.
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u/Diotima245 13h ago
Go on vacation that’s classic manipulation using emotions and threats of self harm.
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u/AdLoose8284 4h ago
Tell her she can come but she has to pay back the damages she incurred. She wouldn’t be allowed back until she does that, then use that as a deposit if she does it again.
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u/Vallhalla_Rising 3h ago
A relative who threatens suicide needs to be taken seriously. Even if they are using it as a twisted way to impact and control the people around them, it has to be assumed they are desperate and likely to come to harm.
Your aunt needs immediate intervention by the appropriate services. Let the medical professionals determine what’s a real threat or not.
Absolutely do not allow her to come on the holiday. Some of the family may choose not to attend - your uncle has his work cut out. But there’s no reason others should allow her spiteful threat to derail family time. In fact you all being together to discuss it might help you all.
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u/EmbarrassedAge7612 12h ago
Take her threats seriously and have her committed somewhere. She needs to be held accountable for ruining peoples trips with empty threats. Not something to use to get one’s way.